[Castiel + DC!Lucifer] going, going, gone
Set a while more after this last log, this particular one taking place while Dean and Sam are busy with the events of 4.19 in Supernatural.
Castiel was lost.
Just a few months ago - a few weeks ago - he would have been hard pressed to admit this even though he had told Dean in a surge of need, to make him understand just as much as Castiel wished he could and wanted to. He was supposed to be a soldier of Heaven and his Father, to never question and never wonder and certainly never doubt; but he did have doubts, he did have questions and he wanted to much to truly believe that what he was doing was right, but now, in a span of such a short time--
Uriel. Uriel, his brother, his partner, the one he had trusted so much to put his back to. Uriel, the brother who he had been with for so long... to discover that he was a betrayer hurt Castiel more deeply than he would have imagined. So many in his garrison had fallen due to him, Balthazar - one of his closest brothers - being one of them. So many now dead and gone, taken out by one of their own. The irony was there, Castiel knew, but now he could not bring himself to care.
Too much had happened in the last few weeks - Uriel's betrayal, Zachariah's involvement and Raphael's coming when Dean had dragged the prophet Chuck Shurley with him to stop Lilith from overpowering Sam. He knew that the Host was highly displeased with his interferrence - nothing ever escaped the Host - and maybe it was just a matter of time before they would come for him and take him away. Castiel knew he should be worried, but he was just so lost on what he should do. Everything he had known were nothing but illusions now, fabrications that Castiel could only all too easily look through. For so long he had listened and believed, and now to suddenly feel all of this... Castiel really had no idea what he could even do.
He doesn't even know what compelled him to do this, to even think about coming here again after knowing the secrets that lie in this place, but Castiel stood before the entrance of Lux once more, Jimmy Novak's blue eyes half-glaring at the door handle as the angel considered his choice. To walk in there and meet Lucifer again, or to go off and continue wandering? Neither of those options were very appealing to him, but there wasn't much of a choice in the matter. Not that Castiel ever had a choice until now, anyway.
Castiel was lost.
Just a few months ago - a few weeks ago - he would have been hard pressed to admit this even though he had told Dean in a surge of need, to make him understand just as much as Castiel wished he could and wanted to. He was supposed to be a soldier of Heaven and his Father, to never question and never wonder and certainly never doubt; but he did have doubts, he did have questions and he wanted to much to truly believe that what he was doing was right, but now, in a span of such a short time--
Uriel. Uriel, his brother, his partner, the one he had trusted so much to put his back to. Uriel, the brother who he had been with for so long... to discover that he was a betrayer hurt Castiel more deeply than he would have imagined. So many in his garrison had fallen due to him, Balthazar - one of his closest brothers - being one of them. So many now dead and gone, taken out by one of their own. The irony was there, Castiel knew, but now he could not bring himself to care.
Too much had happened in the last few weeks - Uriel's betrayal, Zachariah's involvement and Raphael's coming when Dean had dragged the prophet Chuck Shurley with him to stop Lilith from overpowering Sam. He knew that the Host was highly displeased with his interferrence - nothing ever escaped the Host - and maybe it was just a matter of time before they would come for him and take him away. Castiel knew he should be worried, but he was just so lost on what he should do. Everything he had known were nothing but illusions now, fabrications that Castiel could only all too easily look through. For so long he had listened and believed, and now to suddenly feel all of this... Castiel really had no idea what he could even do.
He doesn't even know what compelled him to do this, to even think about coming here again after knowing the secrets that lie in this place, but Castiel stood before the entrance of Lux once more, Jimmy Novak's blue eyes half-glaring at the door handle as the angel considered his choice. To walk in there and meet Lucifer again, or to go off and continue wandering? Neither of those options were very appealing to him, but there wasn't much of a choice in the matter. Not that Castiel ever had a choice until now, anyway.