FROM PAGE TO PAGE
DEATH OF A DICHOTOMY
There is no Madonna
And there is no whore
Walking at lengths
On the earth anymore
They've all been transformed
From who they were before
And repopulating the world
No one grieves
For dead sons
In the arms of limbo dreams.
It will add nothing to the score
To grasp at what it seemed before.
There is no Madonna
And there is no whore
Working their shifts
Until dawn anymore
There's always a black-out,
It's all been transformed.
Now, don't cling
To bed scenes anymore
And close with offerings
Evaporating.
It will come to nothing.
It will come to nothing.
___
CREEPY
It's a mark of the beast
It's the mark of sin
Would you repent at least
For murder in a famine?
It's a stain, it's a sign
It's temptation
You shall not live to see
The end of this happening
It is only for the survivors
And only for the time being.
Well, you know better
Than to accept the whole kingdom
On a silver platter
A city from the hill-top
Well, I beg to differ
Now, you know it doesn't matter.
It's a mark of the beast
It's a mark of sin
Praying, cannibal priests
Pederasts of a kingpin
Preying on this generation
It's a vain, vain thing, man.
___
Prison is where people congregate
Slave-labor, U.S.A., Incorporate
Funding war with the young generate
What do you show for free trade?
Who are the strange private figures
Poised as agents in their roles
In a play of happy triggers
Long-range courage, bullet-holes
People are so full of shit
It's unbelievable, it's...
Elaborate notions they propagate
And misnomers by no mistake.
___
TOLERANCE
It's hard to be tolerant
With inattentive miscreants,
Inconsiderate and ignorant,
Dangerously inexperienced.
They come from behind,
All of their eyes are dead:
A board larger than life
Like a speeding arrowhead.
But they don't think at all.
They don't move to the side
Though I'll bail, or I'll stall.
I don't really mind.
___
TO PIECES
I knew when I got into this
There was an element of distance
A good drive over the mountains
Turning about resistance
Looking from heights of some insistence
Love, you're losing all your power
Because you're taking too long
Withering is your wonderful flower
But disintegration comes to all
Your time here is not to be troubled.
I knew it would come to this
I thought it would be difficult
When I fell in love with you
And there would be some significance
In the things behind we can't undo
Love, keep dreaming in our slumbers
And keep waking us up
To wonders beyond number
And to grief when decay won't stop
There is no order to our world
It has been beset by disorder
Disturbed in the heart of earth
Anarchy bled for borders
That move from where they were
And refuse to give accord
To the people who defend them
And the endangered species
Moving about the natural preserve
As the first world falls to pieces.
___
I SHALL NOT MAKE YOU
I shall not invoke you
Or else I shall not have
What I hope to--
May you forge credibility
And incur no offense
May you look on loyalty
In my passing absence
I shall not worship you
Or else I shall not have
What I hope to--
May you force no repercussions
To fall upon your head
May you hold some discussion
In my passing absence
I shall not betray you
Or else I shall not have
All I hope to--
May your course drive straight to the heart
When you've lost direction
May you be safe where you are
In my passing absence
___
I'M HERE INSTEAD
I don't just want to get you
Down in your own bed
To love you, then forget you
What's the sense in that?
I don't want to upset you
When I leave your place
I would rather stay with you
And look upon your face
I don't just want to get you
Down in your own bed
I want to be there with you
But I'm here instead
___
WHEN
When God seizes the day
Can you really say
You can show them the way?
Dividing communities,
Can you really say
Any one of them can be saved?
If God lets them betray,
Can you really say
You can show them the way?
If they scheme treacherously,
Then can you really say
Any one of them can be saved?
If God leaves them to stray
Then can you really say
You can show them the way?
___
SOME KIND OF MISUNDERSTANDING
A bunch of g*d-damn junk
Unread books, boxes and bags,
Wires, what-nots and shit
Candles and stray shoes
Random items
Dull, disorganized drill-bits
Lord, don't ever let me live like this.
Lookers, liars, and gawkers
A bunch of fake,
Speculating motherf*ckers
Claiming that they're hungry
Then smoking little rocks
With your little money
Lord, don't ever let me live like this.
Chocolate wrappers in the seat
Melting in the early sun
Like some disgusting, plastic frenzy
Stray dogs scavenge in the streets
Hurried drivers pass in a 30
Resentful faces, their looks are dirty
Lord, don't ever let me live like this.
Man, you got me all wrong
If you think I own this, please
I don't have a car or anything
I'm just working here
Thanks to someone else's good graces
Get out of my face, please--
Lord, don't ever let me live like this.
___
I can't love you for the both of us
You have to be right with yourself
Before it'll ever work out between us
I'm telling you now
Because I've already been through this
I love you like a lover should
And I know we live some space apart
But I need a friend no matter what
I need you to answer when I call
At least every once in a while
I need to know you better
You can pick up the phone, call me
You can write to me a letter
Because the rain here is falling
Not that it really matters
___
TERRA PRETA
I feel the olive pits
Crack between my teeth
It's hard to wait and sit
Beneath the olive tree
And it's hard to believe
We get toothpicks from trees
They must have splintered perfectly
For there to be so many
All you cut away
The forest in your face
You can replant them in a day
But you have to wait and wait
None of the forests are untouched
Though they may be pristine
They were cultivated before us;
They've gone wild in the rain.
All the papers say
How people write that way,
To whom is less known in a name...
A rib and a little clay.
___
HELL
I enjoy my little air-conditioned room
It lets me rest quite well
I don't worry about the bats
Flying through the gates of hell
Biting at my neck
And trying to suck my blood
Filtering sonar specks
The accompaniments of love
I can fly above the waters too...
I can come in on the winds...
My vision is uncolored by hues
There's no need to take offense
___
AN EXPLANATION
This is an explanation
For my ignorance (and lack of interest):
I don't know the songs you know
And I don't know the movies
I don't know the celebrities anymore,
But they seem like doosies
This is an explanation
For my ignorance (over the last decade):
I took a hiatus from the media
Because most of it was garbage
I got lost in an encyclopedia
And foresaw all the carnage
___
I FORGET
I forget how it goes
I can't remember the words
I can't remember how it goes
I can't remember the verse
Is that just how it goes?
When the garden arose,
Did it know all it composed
And how a miracle grows
Through the rise and fall of souls?
I fell off the face of the earth
I can't remember the first
I can't remember how you were
I can't remember the hurt--
Is that just how it goes?
When the hard-hearted plunder
And wrap your heart in throes?
Do you sleeplessly wonder?
Do you wake up from your dreams?
I fell off the face of the earth
I can't remember the thirst
I can't remember the hunger
I can't remember the worst.
___
I don't want to play these games
I'd rather redefine them
In terms of mutual gains
If I can't earn anything--
___
DETAILS
I miss your body
Lying next to mine
I miss your arms in holding
The turn-away of time
I want to be in your bed
Or for you to be in mine.
It doesn't matter where
Anywhere will be fine.
We can park in your car
Overlooking the sea.
My love is where you are
And love you are with me.
I miss you badly
Lying next to me.
I miss your eyes in closing
Strange dreams in the morning.
I want to be in your arms
I want to hold you too.
I don't want to let go;
I won't let go of you.
I miss your beauty sleep
Covered under pillows,
Curtains closed, under sheets,
Water at an arm's reach--
___
FLANNERY O'CONNOR BLUES
Banish the one to blame for everything--
It's the same as before,
We just turned it around.
Whatever goes up must come down.
I can't just love somebody else
Because you don't want to be with me
I love you, and I love you to death
(Please don't misunderstand that)
If there's anything out there
I believe you should have it
If anything is really worth it
I believe you deserve it
Banish the one to blame for everything--
It's the same as before,
We just turned it around.
Whatever goes up must come down.
I can't just love somebody else
Because you want to walk out on me
I love you, and I love you to death
(Please don't misunderstand that)
___
YOU'RE THE BEST (MY LITTLE BAD ASS)
You're the best I've ever had
And you can believe that
I've been trying not to make you mad
Ever since the day we met
I've been trying not to mess it up
You're the best I've ever had
And you can believe that
I've been trying not to make you mad
Ever since the day we met
I don't want to leave your bed
You're the best I've ever had
And you can believe that
I've been trying not to make you mad
I'm trying to be patient
And trying not to feel too sad
___
THE LONELINESS OF LOYALTY
When I see good-looking women
Down in the street
It makes me think about you
And the next time we'll meet
When I see partners hand in hand
I don't envy their love
I have mine, you're more than enough,
And life is looking up--
When I see couples going out
For a bite to eat
I am still hungry for you
And I will wait and wait.
___
I THINK OF YOU
I think of you when--
The sun is coming up,
And the sun is going down.
The sun is covered up,
And the sun is shining out.
I think of you when--
The clouds are moving in,
And the clouds are blowing out.
The rain is falling down,
And the rain is slowing down.
I think of you when--
The bus is rolling in,
And the bus is leaving town
The bikes are going fast,
And the wheels go round and round.
___
SINCE YOU WERE INTRODUCED
Nothing measures up
To what we could have seen
Growing from our love
Since you were introduced to me
Now that it's all over,
I just have to get back
To whatever it was I was going through
Before I met you.
Thank you for your honesty:
You say you have problems.
I don't know who I'd be
To think I could solve them.
You just don't want
To bother with me
With so many other things
On your mind.
You don't have time
To talk to me
Because then you have
More things to do--
Sorry,
I'll just let you be.
It's too late to stop me.
It's too late to stop me.
___
SICK
I can taste the sweetness
From the infection
And feel the moisture
Shifting behind my nose.
I can feel the pressure
Behind my eyes
Like it is going to explode
My lungs feel like they've been
Popped by the tip of a pin.
To be well again--
___
RAGE AND GRIEF
He has a place there
With no one to share it
Dreams and promises
Gone up in smoke
Gone up in the air
Gone up his nose
He blames everyone else
For all of his problems
He's lived everywhere
Moving around a lot
From all that isn't fair
He has a nice place there
And no one with whom to share
Dreams and promises
Gone up in smoke
Gone up in the air
Gone up his nose
He blames everyone else
For the way he feels
He believes every word he says
Feeding himself full of his own shit
He believes it anyway...
He loves his dogs
More than anyone in this world
He can order them around
And they never talk back
He's all bark and no bite
And they never talk back.
___
GIFTED AND TALENTED
He's so laid back
On the surface of things
But inside he's a mess
There's no order to his emotions
Like his operations...
He can tell you facts
Arcane and extraordinary
He can recite dynamics
From the workings of engines
And digital motherboards
But ask him how he feels
And listen to what he tells you
While you wait and wait
For an answer
For any response.
It's not that he doesn't feel
It's that he doesn't show it
In the way you do
He doesn't really know how
To do what he never learned to--
He was raised to be a man
Collected, cool, and calm
Nerves of steel, unbreakable...
But the feeling of failure
Seemed unshakeable
By the time he was waking up
To ask the hard questions
He could not tell
People could see him in a way
He could not see himself.
___
CYCLES AND CORVETTES (TO MAKE UP FOR IT)
He was still a young man
By a time in the fall
He had his first psychotic break
But it wasn't his fault--
Vietnam was hard on him
And it was hard enough
Whatever it was like
While he was growing up
But he became a man
When he was very young
He saw unspeakable scenes
Half-way around the world
Far from family and home
The little comfort zone
All of his friends were gone
And he was alone
In his new platoon
With a rifle (in the gloom)
Fighting in a rainy jungle
Fighting the rainy jungle
He seemed to hold it together
But couldn't hold forever
By thirty five he was hiding
Under a desk at work
And jumping out of his bed
In the night at home
Blankets covered his walls
An arsenal at his side--
The 24-hour news channel
He watched in fascination:
War in the Persian Gulf--
There was no other station.
___
FROM THE MOUNTAIN
You have no idea
How many people
Walk the mountain
Every morning
They come from town
Women walk in pairs
It's free right now
You don't need any money
Then they walk down
The world is out there
Toucans cry foul
You might see some monkeys
A man pushes a baby stroller
Four wheelers pollute the air
I sit and watch the rollers
Pushing the cove down there
Surfers sit like ducks
Perched on their boards
They're not catching anything
The waves just break over.
___
A GOOD DOG
Max--he's the king of the mountain
He barks at the horses
And doesn't let anyone in
He doesn't let anyone in
Maximilian--he knows when you're sick
And he knows when you're well
He knows how you're feeling
When there ain't no telling
Maxwell--he'll be your friend for life
For a little food in his bowl
He may try but he will fail
To pacify himself
Mad Max--he goes off at 6 o'clock
He can't stand horses on the trot
Or the people on top
All of the people on top
Re-max--he will do his part,
He'd give his last paw
Just to sell your sorry lot
He'll be your mascot
I-Max--he'll sit back and relax
When the theater is shaking
He'll be cool in a museum of wax
When the rest are just faking.
___
STUPID DUCKS
There are some good surfers
But they are few and far between.
Most of them are lazy-boarders
Who paddle out just to sit there.
I don't know what they're waiting on.
They could ride most of the waves,
And the more one rides
The more they'll get a good one.
Most of them are bad actors:
I've seen them walk up and down the street
Without ever going near the water
Without ever really leaving the street.
Carrying their boards around
Carrying them back and forth.
I don't understand that;
You can't surf in traffic.
They walk to the beach alone
Like mystical Joes in wet-suits,
Though the water is very warm.
All eyes on them, on them...
Fixated on the proper form,
But a loss for spontaneity
When it's one wave at a time,
Just one wave at a time.
I don't have an angry temperament,
But it gets on my nerves
To see them miss their chances
And waste their opportunities.
On second thought,
Maybe they will get a photo-op
Like the president doing a dance--
How is that for a cheap shot?
___
ENEMIES IN THE CANAL
He drifts like a mist
Then drops his legs
In weightless descent
To drill for his rig
He lands upon the skin
Without my feeling
To draw a drop of blood
As he waits kneeling
He's courted by the water
But hovers in the air
In the night near the mud
And spread of malaria
If I fail to notice
Then he gets away
With a sudden lift-off
And blood for a day
But if I catch him at play
Then I slap him down
Into the end he's slain
Upon his feeding-ground.
___
DOWN ONE DAY
Nothing is inspiring me
After I've grown accustomed
And used to the sea
Stretching out from the mountain
You can say it's sad
You can say it's a shame
But that doesn't change
Anything, anything--
Nothing is uplifting me
From the days I'm counting
All I cannot see
Stretching out on the mountain
You can say it's sad
You can say it's a shame
But that doesn't change
Anything, anything--
Nothing is comforting me
From the dullness of it
Miracles passing
Stretching out on the mountain.
___
DON'T PUSH HER DOWN
If you are bent
To employ her services
You have to admit
Why she is out working
Twenty four hours a day
In the Red Light district
In whatever city she is
In whatever country
There will never be peace
Until all the world's bounty
Spreads to meet necessity
And pulls the nail of exploitation.
Why else would she be
Doing what she's doing?
But for lack of opportunity
And the need for money?
She has to feed her children
And sends it to her family.
Enjoy your reasonings,
She would not let you have it.
You only thought you were
Stuck in traffic--
But ask where she comes from
And what she's after.
___
THE RECURRING GUEST
I see you in abandoned apartments
And we drive around in old vehicles
You're company in secret compartments
Classrooms return as welcome visuals
You're always there, we have our heart to heart.
You come in dreams as the person you were
Although I wake to the person you are
Knowing you are someone's wife and mother.
I believe that in some night's moving dream
I will resolve what I need to resolve.
Peace will be achieved as I am waking
Whatever the means, whatever the cause.
If I were true, I would take myself out--
Am I marked to dream of you all my life
To wonder when I wake why you visit
Though you became a mother and a wife
Love is not a forgetful state, is it?
It's no accident I did not have you
We were growing up at century's end
And I knew no option but to love you
I could only forge what was unspoken
In the woods away from our little town
In a cabin by the lake of Redman
You read to yourself, and smiled, and looked down
I made myself a marble in your hand
To be honest to all that moved my heart
And I think you know, wherever you are--
___
THE WORMS
How many broken bottles
And burned out light-bulbs?
How many dead batteries
And dirty needles?
How much plastic packaging?
How many tampons can you use?
How many plastic spoons
And plastic tubes?
How many broken brooms?
How much refuse?
I feel sorry for the worms
In this habitation.
Who are the animals
In such a lack of sanitation.
I smell death, and I only pray it isn't human.
How many baby clothes
And rolled-up dirty diapers?
How many broken windshield wipers?
How many plastic wrappers
And pieces of rope?
How many rusted cans
And six-pack rings?
How many cigarette packs?
How much styrofoam and cellophane?
How many plastic sacks?
I feel sorry for the worms.
In this habitation.
You can't just hide the trash
Under broken concrete
In some hole or in a ditch...
___
I'm sick and tired
Of you spinning your agenda
You're not fair or balanced
I'd rather sit around
And listen to the silence.
You're everything you say
You're not
And nothing you say
You are.
___
How are you gonna go to war
Over what you support
In your own back yard
In your own back yard
Ain't it a bitch
And a double standard?
Aren't the hypocrites
Some of the worst offenders?
You can't control the whole wide world
You can't keep them poor
And deprived of resource
They know who you are.
They know what you're in it for
They've seen it all before
And they're tired of tours
Taking more and more.
___
PROFILE
Look, man, I already have a Dad
And I don't need another one
Running up and telling me what to do
I'm so glad he wasn't ever
An old jackass like you
My father schooled me for years
Some would say he was over-bearing
But it's because he was fierce
That I'm not afraid of guys like you
Or submissive when you run your head.
I try to treat everyone with respect
But when you come barking like a dog
Then I will treat you like one
And I could care less
What you say to do or not.
You'd better just keep on driving
And save your orders
For the kids you haul around
They're the only ones who really listen
When you run off at the mouth.
At least I hope that's the reason
You keep such young company.
They don't ever tell you "no"
When you're posing as authority
But you and I both know.
___
COLORFUL EARTH
The forest is alive and electric
With the blinking lights of insects
It's a miraculous sight
On a calm, cool night.
The earth is brown and green
The earth is black
The moon is unseen
The sun will come back.
The mountain is quiet and symphonic
With the creatures living on it
It's a long, unfolding fight
And a calm, cool night.
The coast-line fluctuates between the tides
With relative forces of light
Heavenly bodies orbit
In the calm, cool night.
The earth is brown and green
The earth is black
The moon is unseen
The sun will come back.
___
Don't go near the man
Who leads his children by the hand
To stand
In front of a train.
He's just watching it come
He isn't thinking about them
It's more than being dumb--
It's oblivion.
How long will he stand there
Watching the train?
How long will he be there?
Will he turn away?
___
WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?
He bought our meals with his ticket
And never asked me to pay him back
But just to talk and to kick it.
He was excited and passionate--
His Elizabethan love, the Beats,
REM, then Radiohead,
And his red-headed Margaret
In a bygone era of disobedience.
We walked the campus with ideas
And conversation running over
We were more kindred than friends
And conversation running over.
We alone seemed to know the difference
Between gnosis and sophistry,
Groundless suppositions, insight and inference,
In a bygone era of prose and poetry.
Sometimes she would participate
But sometimes she was jealous.
It was impossible to read her face,
But her friend would tell us.
___
YOU WERE INSIDE
You were inside my old car
Taking about our brothers
We didn't know where
We were going
Maybe to a shelter
Somewhere to get some help
Some kind of food kitchen
Where we could feed ourselves
You were sitting beside me
As we talked about them
All they've been through
And how they're doing now
We were in my old car
Talking about our brothers
We didn't know where
We were going
It didn't matter where
As long as you were there
I didn't really care
It didn't really matter.
There is no Madonna
And there is no whore
Walking at lengths
On the earth anymore
They've all been transformed
From who they were before
And repopulating the world
No one grieves
For dead sons
In the arms of limbo dreams.
It will add nothing to the score
To grasp at what it seemed before.
There is no Madonna
And there is no whore
Working their shifts
Until dawn anymore
There's always a black-out,
It's all been transformed.
Now, don't cling
To bed scenes anymore
And close with offerings
Evaporating.
It will come to nothing.
It will come to nothing.
___
CREEPY
It's a mark of the beast
It's the mark of sin
Would you repent at least
For murder in a famine?
It's a stain, it's a sign
It's temptation
You shall not live to see
The end of this happening
It is only for the survivors
And only for the time being.
Well, you know better
Than to accept the whole kingdom
On a silver platter
A city from the hill-top
Well, I beg to differ
Now, you know it doesn't matter.
It's a mark of the beast
It's a mark of sin
Praying, cannibal priests
Pederasts of a kingpin
Preying on this generation
It's a vain, vain thing, man.
___
Prison is where people congregate
Slave-labor, U.S.A., Incorporate
Funding war with the young generate
What do you show for free trade?
Who are the strange private figures
Poised as agents in their roles
In a play of happy triggers
Long-range courage, bullet-holes
People are so full of shit
It's unbelievable, it's...
Elaborate notions they propagate
And misnomers by no mistake.
___
TOLERANCE
It's hard to be tolerant
With inattentive miscreants,
Inconsiderate and ignorant,
Dangerously inexperienced.
They come from behind,
All of their eyes are dead:
A board larger than life
Like a speeding arrowhead.
But they don't think at all.
They don't move to the side
Though I'll bail, or I'll stall.
I don't really mind.
___
TO PIECES
I knew when I got into this
There was an element of distance
A good drive over the mountains
Turning about resistance
Looking from heights of some insistence
Love, you're losing all your power
Because you're taking too long
Withering is your wonderful flower
But disintegration comes to all
Your time here is not to be troubled.
I knew it would come to this
I thought it would be difficult
When I fell in love with you
And there would be some significance
In the things behind we can't undo
Love, keep dreaming in our slumbers
And keep waking us up
To wonders beyond number
And to grief when decay won't stop
There is no order to our world
It has been beset by disorder
Disturbed in the heart of earth
Anarchy bled for borders
That move from where they were
And refuse to give accord
To the people who defend them
And the endangered species
Moving about the natural preserve
As the first world falls to pieces.
___
I SHALL NOT MAKE YOU
I shall not invoke you
Or else I shall not have
What I hope to--
May you forge credibility
And incur no offense
May you look on loyalty
In my passing absence
I shall not worship you
Or else I shall not have
What I hope to--
May you force no repercussions
To fall upon your head
May you hold some discussion
In my passing absence
I shall not betray you
Or else I shall not have
All I hope to--
May your course drive straight to the heart
When you've lost direction
May you be safe where you are
In my passing absence
___
I'M HERE INSTEAD
I don't just want to get you
Down in your own bed
To love you, then forget you
What's the sense in that?
I don't want to upset you
When I leave your place
I would rather stay with you
And look upon your face
I don't just want to get you
Down in your own bed
I want to be there with you
But I'm here instead
___
WHEN
When God seizes the day
Can you really say
You can show them the way?
Dividing communities,
Can you really say
Any one of them can be saved?
If God lets them betray,
Can you really say
You can show them the way?
If they scheme treacherously,
Then can you really say
Any one of them can be saved?
If God leaves them to stray
Then can you really say
You can show them the way?
___
SOME KIND OF MISUNDERSTANDING
A bunch of g*d-damn junk
Unread books, boxes and bags,
Wires, what-nots and shit
Candles and stray shoes
Random items
Dull, disorganized drill-bits
Lord, don't ever let me live like this.
Lookers, liars, and gawkers
A bunch of fake,
Speculating motherf*ckers
Claiming that they're hungry
Then smoking little rocks
With your little money
Lord, don't ever let me live like this.
Chocolate wrappers in the seat
Melting in the early sun
Like some disgusting, plastic frenzy
Stray dogs scavenge in the streets
Hurried drivers pass in a 30
Resentful faces, their looks are dirty
Lord, don't ever let me live like this.
Man, you got me all wrong
If you think I own this, please
I don't have a car or anything
I'm just working here
Thanks to someone else's good graces
Get out of my face, please--
Lord, don't ever let me live like this.
___
I can't love you for the both of us
You have to be right with yourself
Before it'll ever work out between us
I'm telling you now
Because I've already been through this
I love you like a lover should
And I know we live some space apart
But I need a friend no matter what
I need you to answer when I call
At least every once in a while
I need to know you better
You can pick up the phone, call me
You can write to me a letter
Because the rain here is falling
Not that it really matters
___
TERRA PRETA
I feel the olive pits
Crack between my teeth
It's hard to wait and sit
Beneath the olive tree
And it's hard to believe
We get toothpicks from trees
They must have splintered perfectly
For there to be so many
All you cut away
The forest in your face
You can replant them in a day
But you have to wait and wait
None of the forests are untouched
Though they may be pristine
They were cultivated before us;
They've gone wild in the rain.
All the papers say
How people write that way,
To whom is less known in a name...
A rib and a little clay.
___
HELL
I enjoy my little air-conditioned room
It lets me rest quite well
I don't worry about the bats
Flying through the gates of hell
Biting at my neck
And trying to suck my blood
Filtering sonar specks
The accompaniments of love
I can fly above the waters too...
I can come in on the winds...
My vision is uncolored by hues
There's no need to take offense
___
AN EXPLANATION
This is an explanation
For my ignorance (and lack of interest):
I don't know the songs you know
And I don't know the movies
I don't know the celebrities anymore,
But they seem like doosies
This is an explanation
For my ignorance (over the last decade):
I took a hiatus from the media
Because most of it was garbage
I got lost in an encyclopedia
And foresaw all the carnage
___
I FORGET
I forget how it goes
I can't remember the words
I can't remember how it goes
I can't remember the verse
Is that just how it goes?
When the garden arose,
Did it know all it composed
And how a miracle grows
Through the rise and fall of souls?
I fell off the face of the earth
I can't remember the first
I can't remember how you were
I can't remember the hurt--
Is that just how it goes?
When the hard-hearted plunder
And wrap your heart in throes?
Do you sleeplessly wonder?
Do you wake up from your dreams?
I fell off the face of the earth
I can't remember the thirst
I can't remember the hunger
I can't remember the worst.
___
I don't want to play these games
I'd rather redefine them
In terms of mutual gains
If I can't earn anything--
___
DETAILS
I miss your body
Lying next to mine
I miss your arms in holding
The turn-away of time
I want to be in your bed
Or for you to be in mine.
It doesn't matter where
Anywhere will be fine.
We can park in your car
Overlooking the sea.
My love is where you are
And love you are with me.
I miss you badly
Lying next to me.
I miss your eyes in closing
Strange dreams in the morning.
I want to be in your arms
I want to hold you too.
I don't want to let go;
I won't let go of you.
I miss your beauty sleep
Covered under pillows,
Curtains closed, under sheets,
Water at an arm's reach--
___
FLANNERY O'CONNOR BLUES
Banish the one to blame for everything--
It's the same as before,
We just turned it around.
Whatever goes up must come down.
I can't just love somebody else
Because you don't want to be with me
I love you, and I love you to death
(Please don't misunderstand that)
If there's anything out there
I believe you should have it
If anything is really worth it
I believe you deserve it
Banish the one to blame for everything--
It's the same as before,
We just turned it around.
Whatever goes up must come down.
I can't just love somebody else
Because you want to walk out on me
I love you, and I love you to death
(Please don't misunderstand that)
___
YOU'RE THE BEST (MY LITTLE BAD ASS)
You're the best I've ever had
And you can believe that
I've been trying not to make you mad
Ever since the day we met
I've been trying not to mess it up
You're the best I've ever had
And you can believe that
I've been trying not to make you mad
Ever since the day we met
I don't want to leave your bed
You're the best I've ever had
And you can believe that
I've been trying not to make you mad
I'm trying to be patient
And trying not to feel too sad
___
THE LONELINESS OF LOYALTY
When I see good-looking women
Down in the street
It makes me think about you
And the next time we'll meet
When I see partners hand in hand
I don't envy their love
I have mine, you're more than enough,
And life is looking up--
When I see couples going out
For a bite to eat
I am still hungry for you
And I will wait and wait.
___
I THINK OF YOU
I think of you when--
The sun is coming up,
And the sun is going down.
The sun is covered up,
And the sun is shining out.
I think of you when--
The clouds are moving in,
And the clouds are blowing out.
The rain is falling down,
And the rain is slowing down.
I think of you when--
The bus is rolling in,
And the bus is leaving town
The bikes are going fast,
And the wheels go round and round.
___
SINCE YOU WERE INTRODUCED
Nothing measures up
To what we could have seen
Growing from our love
Since you were introduced to me
Now that it's all over,
I just have to get back
To whatever it was I was going through
Before I met you.
Thank you for your honesty:
You say you have problems.
I don't know who I'd be
To think I could solve them.
You just don't want
To bother with me
With so many other things
On your mind.
You don't have time
To talk to me
Because then you have
More things to do--
Sorry,
I'll just let you be.
It's too late to stop me.
It's too late to stop me.
___
SICK
I can taste the sweetness
From the infection
And feel the moisture
Shifting behind my nose.
I can feel the pressure
Behind my eyes
Like it is going to explode
My lungs feel like they've been
Popped by the tip of a pin.
To be well again--
___
RAGE AND GRIEF
He has a place there
With no one to share it
Dreams and promises
Gone up in smoke
Gone up in the air
Gone up his nose
He blames everyone else
For all of his problems
He's lived everywhere
Moving around a lot
From all that isn't fair
He has a nice place there
And no one with whom to share
Dreams and promises
Gone up in smoke
Gone up in the air
Gone up his nose
He blames everyone else
For the way he feels
He believes every word he says
Feeding himself full of his own shit
He believes it anyway...
He loves his dogs
More than anyone in this world
He can order them around
And they never talk back
He's all bark and no bite
And they never talk back.
___
GIFTED AND TALENTED
He's so laid back
On the surface of things
But inside he's a mess
There's no order to his emotions
Like his operations...
He can tell you facts
Arcane and extraordinary
He can recite dynamics
From the workings of engines
And digital motherboards
But ask him how he feels
And listen to what he tells you
While you wait and wait
For an answer
For any response.
It's not that he doesn't feel
It's that he doesn't show it
In the way you do
He doesn't really know how
To do what he never learned to--
He was raised to be a man
Collected, cool, and calm
Nerves of steel, unbreakable...
But the feeling of failure
Seemed unshakeable
By the time he was waking up
To ask the hard questions
He could not tell
People could see him in a way
He could not see himself.
___
CYCLES AND CORVETTES (TO MAKE UP FOR IT)
He was still a young man
By a time in the fall
He had his first psychotic break
But it wasn't his fault--
Vietnam was hard on him
And it was hard enough
Whatever it was like
While he was growing up
But he became a man
When he was very young
He saw unspeakable scenes
Half-way around the world
Far from family and home
The little comfort zone
All of his friends were gone
And he was alone
In his new platoon
With a rifle (in the gloom)
Fighting in a rainy jungle
Fighting the rainy jungle
He seemed to hold it together
But couldn't hold forever
By thirty five he was hiding
Under a desk at work
And jumping out of his bed
In the night at home
Blankets covered his walls
An arsenal at his side--
The 24-hour news channel
He watched in fascination:
War in the Persian Gulf--
There was no other station.
___
FROM THE MOUNTAIN
You have no idea
How many people
Walk the mountain
Every morning
They come from town
Women walk in pairs
It's free right now
You don't need any money
Then they walk down
The world is out there
Toucans cry foul
You might see some monkeys
A man pushes a baby stroller
Four wheelers pollute the air
I sit and watch the rollers
Pushing the cove down there
Surfers sit like ducks
Perched on their boards
They're not catching anything
The waves just break over.
___
A GOOD DOG
Max--he's the king of the mountain
He barks at the horses
And doesn't let anyone in
He doesn't let anyone in
Maximilian--he knows when you're sick
And he knows when you're well
He knows how you're feeling
When there ain't no telling
Maxwell--he'll be your friend for life
For a little food in his bowl
He may try but he will fail
To pacify himself
Mad Max--he goes off at 6 o'clock
He can't stand horses on the trot
Or the people on top
All of the people on top
Re-max--he will do his part,
He'd give his last paw
Just to sell your sorry lot
He'll be your mascot
I-Max--he'll sit back and relax
When the theater is shaking
He'll be cool in a museum of wax
When the rest are just faking.
___
STUPID DUCKS
There are some good surfers
But they are few and far between.
Most of them are lazy-boarders
Who paddle out just to sit there.
I don't know what they're waiting on.
They could ride most of the waves,
And the more one rides
The more they'll get a good one.
Most of them are bad actors:
I've seen them walk up and down the street
Without ever going near the water
Without ever really leaving the street.
Carrying their boards around
Carrying them back and forth.
I don't understand that;
You can't surf in traffic.
They walk to the beach alone
Like mystical Joes in wet-suits,
Though the water is very warm.
All eyes on them, on them...
Fixated on the proper form,
But a loss for spontaneity
When it's one wave at a time,
Just one wave at a time.
I don't have an angry temperament,
But it gets on my nerves
To see them miss their chances
And waste their opportunities.
On second thought,
Maybe they will get a photo-op
Like the president doing a dance--
How is that for a cheap shot?
___
ENEMIES IN THE CANAL
He drifts like a mist
Then drops his legs
In weightless descent
To drill for his rig
He lands upon the skin
Without my feeling
To draw a drop of blood
As he waits kneeling
He's courted by the water
But hovers in the air
In the night near the mud
And spread of malaria
If I fail to notice
Then he gets away
With a sudden lift-off
And blood for a day
But if I catch him at play
Then I slap him down
Into the end he's slain
Upon his feeding-ground.
___
DOWN ONE DAY
Nothing is inspiring me
After I've grown accustomed
And used to the sea
Stretching out from the mountain
You can say it's sad
You can say it's a shame
But that doesn't change
Anything, anything--
Nothing is uplifting me
From the days I'm counting
All I cannot see
Stretching out on the mountain
You can say it's sad
You can say it's a shame
But that doesn't change
Anything, anything--
Nothing is comforting me
From the dullness of it
Miracles passing
Stretching out on the mountain.
___
DON'T PUSH HER DOWN
If you are bent
To employ her services
You have to admit
Why she is out working
Twenty four hours a day
In the Red Light district
In whatever city she is
In whatever country
There will never be peace
Until all the world's bounty
Spreads to meet necessity
And pulls the nail of exploitation.
Why else would she be
Doing what she's doing?
But for lack of opportunity
And the need for money?
She has to feed her children
And sends it to her family.
Enjoy your reasonings,
She would not let you have it.
You only thought you were
Stuck in traffic--
But ask where she comes from
And what she's after.
___
THE RECURRING GUEST
I see you in abandoned apartments
And we drive around in old vehicles
You're company in secret compartments
Classrooms return as welcome visuals
You're always there, we have our heart to heart.
You come in dreams as the person you were
Although I wake to the person you are
Knowing you are someone's wife and mother.
I believe that in some night's moving dream
I will resolve what I need to resolve.
Peace will be achieved as I am waking
Whatever the means, whatever the cause.
If I were true, I would take myself out--
Am I marked to dream of you all my life
To wonder when I wake why you visit
Though you became a mother and a wife
Love is not a forgetful state, is it?
It's no accident I did not have you
We were growing up at century's end
And I knew no option but to love you
I could only forge what was unspoken
In the woods away from our little town
In a cabin by the lake of Redman
You read to yourself, and smiled, and looked down
I made myself a marble in your hand
To be honest to all that moved my heart
And I think you know, wherever you are--
___
THE WORMS
How many broken bottles
And burned out light-bulbs?
How many dead batteries
And dirty needles?
How much plastic packaging?
How many tampons can you use?
How many plastic spoons
And plastic tubes?
How many broken brooms?
How much refuse?
I feel sorry for the worms
In this habitation.
Who are the animals
In such a lack of sanitation.
I smell death, and I only pray it isn't human.
How many baby clothes
And rolled-up dirty diapers?
How many broken windshield wipers?
How many plastic wrappers
And pieces of rope?
How many rusted cans
And six-pack rings?
How many cigarette packs?
How much styrofoam and cellophane?
How many plastic sacks?
I feel sorry for the worms.
In this habitation.
You can't just hide the trash
Under broken concrete
In some hole or in a ditch...
___
I'm sick and tired
Of you spinning your agenda
You're not fair or balanced
I'd rather sit around
And listen to the silence.
You're everything you say
You're not
And nothing you say
You are.
___
How are you gonna go to war
Over what you support
In your own back yard
In your own back yard
Ain't it a bitch
And a double standard?
Aren't the hypocrites
Some of the worst offenders?
You can't control the whole wide world
You can't keep them poor
And deprived of resource
They know who you are.
They know what you're in it for
They've seen it all before
And they're tired of tours
Taking more and more.
___
PROFILE
Look, man, I already have a Dad
And I don't need another one
Running up and telling me what to do
I'm so glad he wasn't ever
An old jackass like you
My father schooled me for years
Some would say he was over-bearing
But it's because he was fierce
That I'm not afraid of guys like you
Or submissive when you run your head.
I try to treat everyone with respect
But when you come barking like a dog
Then I will treat you like one
And I could care less
What you say to do or not.
You'd better just keep on driving
And save your orders
For the kids you haul around
They're the only ones who really listen
When you run off at the mouth.
At least I hope that's the reason
You keep such young company.
They don't ever tell you "no"
When you're posing as authority
But you and I both know.
___
COLORFUL EARTH
The forest is alive and electric
With the blinking lights of insects
It's a miraculous sight
On a calm, cool night.
The earth is brown and green
The earth is black
The moon is unseen
The sun will come back.
The mountain is quiet and symphonic
With the creatures living on it
It's a long, unfolding fight
And a calm, cool night.
The coast-line fluctuates between the tides
With relative forces of light
Heavenly bodies orbit
In the calm, cool night.
The earth is brown and green
The earth is black
The moon is unseen
The sun will come back.
___
Don't go near the man
Who leads his children by the hand
To stand
In front of a train.
He's just watching it come
He isn't thinking about them
It's more than being dumb--
It's oblivion.
How long will he stand there
Watching the train?
How long will he be there?
Will he turn away?
___
WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?
He bought our meals with his ticket
And never asked me to pay him back
But just to talk and to kick it.
He was excited and passionate--
His Elizabethan love, the Beats,
REM, then Radiohead,
And his red-headed Margaret
In a bygone era of disobedience.
We walked the campus with ideas
And conversation running over
We were more kindred than friends
And conversation running over.
We alone seemed to know the difference
Between gnosis and sophistry,
Groundless suppositions, insight and inference,
In a bygone era of prose and poetry.
Sometimes she would participate
But sometimes she was jealous.
It was impossible to read her face,
But her friend would tell us.
___
YOU WERE INSIDE
You were inside my old car
Taking about our brothers
We didn't know where
We were going
Maybe to a shelter
Somewhere to get some help
Some kind of food kitchen
Where we could feed ourselves
You were sitting beside me
As we talked about them
All they've been through
And how they're doing now
We were in my old car
Talking about our brothers
We didn't know where
We were going
It didn't matter where
As long as you were there
I didn't really care
It didn't really matter.