Enough
Title: Enough
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Owning humans are illegal in most parts of the world (and I can't afford their fabulousness)
Pairings: Junxfemale, Sakumoto
Wordcount: 1,382
Summary: It's been a while since Sho and Jun had a talk
Notes: This was another fic written for the sakumoto contest that I obivously didn't enter. I found it while looking for another document. :D
Note2: I am in need of a beta so anyone willing, but comment! I am willing to beta for you also if you need it. :D
This was the second girl Jun broke up with over the past month.
"Again?" Sho sighed. The five of them sat in the greenroom of the studio, getting ready to film their variety show. "What did she do this time?"
"She took my D&G sunglasses."
"So?"
"And she broke them."
"Of course."
Jun wasn't a person of loose morals and he never had a one-night stand. He had relationships. Usually they didn't last longer than three months, but they were relationships nonetheless. Every time he would break up with one of girlfriends, Sho would be the first to know. Not that Jun tells him, rather Sho knows that when Jun flips open his phone to turn it off during work it meant he didn't want her pleading calls and emails of "please take me back" or "I'm sorry."
"Matsujun, you really should be careful about who you break up with," said Aiba, trying to pick a tie for the VIP Room segment.
"Yeah, she might be the stabby-type," Nino chimed in, fingers smashing against his DS.
"Someone's going to stab Jun?" asked Ohno, paying more attention to finding the right foundation than listening to their conversation.
"At the rate Jun's going, I wouldn't be surprised if they teamed up and killed him."
"Crime of passion. It stands in court," Aiba stated.
"We went out for less than a month," Jun said. "She probably doesn't care. She hasn't called or-"
Darth Vader's theme rang through the greenroom and Sho sighed yet again. He was pretty sure that it wasn't right in any society to worry about men that were twenty-five and older.
Sho stared at the back of Jun's head while they were sitting in the van. It wasn't until they drove a block away from Jun's apartment that Sho asked to be let out of the car. He told them he left something important with Jun and needed it for tomorrow. He also insisted that they go ahead and he would call a taxi to head home. After a witty retort from Nino, Sho left the vehicle and walked in the cool night air towards his fellow member's apartment complex.
When he arrived at Jun's door, Sho paused and stared at the metal handle. He didn't have a legitimate reason for being there since he lied earlier. In fact, he didn't even know why he lied or why he wanted to see Jun. He wasn't particularly worried that Jun's ex would attack him. He was certain that Jun wasn't drowning himself in alcohol to get over their recent break-up. Sho just had a nagging feeling that tonight he had to face Jun, whatever that meant.
Suffice to say that Jun was a little more than surprised to have Sho at his door and spent a good five seconds just staring at him.
"I'm not drunk," Jun said. It was more of a question to himself than any statement though.
"I'm not either, but it's pretty cold for a summer night so please let me in."
The apartment was plainer than Sho remembered. He only went there twice before, once to help Jun unpack when he first moved in and the second time was to get a script from Jun. For a person known for being flashy, the decoration on the apartment was minimal. It suited the man who lived there, only needing a few accents to show off inner charm.
The two sat in silence while sipping the barley tea Jun set out for them. While the lack of conversation wasn't awkward, Sho sitting across from Jun in the middle of the night was. He wasn't invited, had no intention of truly being there, and hardly even knew Jun anymore.
Anymore.
"So...how are you?" Sho fidgeted on the sofa. It was new and smelled funny.
"I was getting ready to sleep before you came in." Jun had sweats on and an oversized t-shirt. When did he stop wearing matching pajama sets?
"Sorry."
Jun got up to clear away the cups, but Sho suddenly grabbed his wrist. Without thinking, Jun sat down next to Sho, and looked a little unnerved by Sho's action.
"I don't," Sho began hesitantly. "Or rather, I won't. Ugh. What I mean to say is I can't tell you what to do. But I want to help you."
"Sho what are you talking about?" Jun said, shaking his head in confusion.
"It's not healthy. Jumping from relationship to relationship."
"What would you know about healthy? You sleep 3 hours a week and eat too much in one sitting."
Sho shook his head. What was he saying? He didn't come there to scold Jun like a mother to her teenage son.
Did he?
"It may not seem like it, but I still care about you," he continued. "I do. And I don't want to see you sad-"
"I'm not sad."
"-it's because you aren't, I'm worried. I'm worried because you never really get sad about leaving a relationship. Because you never really are in one where you-I don't know how to say this. Where you invest your feelings into it. Once she shows she cares, you enter a relationship, but before anything can really happen, before you feel something for her, you leave. You don't want to be rejected so you don't start anything. It can't end if it doesn't begin right? You can't get hurt over something that never happened. You're afraid that she will stop loving you...or something like that-"
"Sho. What-?"
"-and I might be babbling right now and I know I'm supposed to be better with words, but I can't- ugh! I-"
"Sho, maybe you should lie down."
"No! I mean, no thanks." Sho stood and paced a bit, trying to ignore Jun's concerned looks. "I want to tell you that you can't go out with a girl just because she's nice to you. Like how..."
"Like how what?" Sho looked Jun in the eye. It dawned on him.
"Like how I was."
"...get out."
The next day Sho called Jun. Of course he knew the younger man wouldn't pick up, but he tried anyway. He even stood outside Jun's apartment door and stuffed notes under the door. It was pathetic and Sho knew he must of sounded crazy the other night, but he needed to tell Jun. He still wasn't entirely sure what he needed to say, but he needed to say it.
They didn't have work that day, so the newscaster stood his guard. He knocked, hoping Jun would hear, hoping Jun didn't leave in the middle of the night after he had left to go home.
When the door opened, Jun was still in the same clothes from the other night. Sho walked in and toed off his shoes. He and Jun sat in the same position as the other night, but neither looked up.
"I'm sorry for yesterday. I didn't make any sense at all and I didn't mean to upset you," Sho said.
"You were right."
"What?" Sho noticed Jun still had his head down, staring at his hands.
"I didn't like any of my past girlfriends. They were good people and I broke their hearts so they couldn't break mine. It was wrong of me." Jun looked at Sho, eyes red and glistening. "Can you really blame me?"
"..." Sho turned his head away. What does one say to that? 'I'm sorry for breaking your heart when we were younger?' or 'It wasn't my intention for you to come out so twisted?'
"I don't blame you. Not completely. It's not your fault you can't lo-you can't like me." Jun took a deep breath and let out a long sigh.
Sho reached out for Jun's hands and drew them to his body, pulling Jun closer.
"I will always," he whispered. "Be your friend, your sempai, your number one idol." Jun chuckled quietly. "But we aren't in a relationship."
"..."
"And since we aren't, I can never leave you. And you can never leave me. And I can never break your heart again."
"Never say never, Sho." Sho placed Jun's hands on his face.
"I don't want to be in a relationship, but I want to be with you. Is that okay?" Jun smiled softly. Like someone who faced heart break and lived through it.
"For now."
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Owning humans are illegal in most parts of the world (and I can't afford their fabulousness)
Pairings: Junxfemale, Sakumoto
Wordcount: 1,382
Summary: It's been a while since Sho and Jun had a talk
Notes: This was another fic written for the sakumoto contest that I obivously didn't enter. I found it while looking for another document. :D
Note2: I am in need of a beta so anyone willing, but comment! I am willing to beta for you also if you need it. :D
This was the second girl Jun broke up with over the past month.
"Again?" Sho sighed. The five of them sat in the greenroom of the studio, getting ready to film their variety show. "What did she do this time?"
"She took my D&G sunglasses."
"So?"
"And she broke them."
"Of course."
Jun wasn't a person of loose morals and he never had a one-night stand. He had relationships. Usually they didn't last longer than three months, but they were relationships nonetheless. Every time he would break up with one of girlfriends, Sho would be the first to know. Not that Jun tells him, rather Sho knows that when Jun flips open his phone to turn it off during work it meant he didn't want her pleading calls and emails of "please take me back" or "I'm sorry."
"Matsujun, you really should be careful about who you break up with," said Aiba, trying to pick a tie for the VIP Room segment.
"Yeah, she might be the stabby-type," Nino chimed in, fingers smashing against his DS.
"Someone's going to stab Jun?" asked Ohno, paying more attention to finding the right foundation than listening to their conversation.
"At the rate Jun's going, I wouldn't be surprised if they teamed up and killed him."
"Crime of passion. It stands in court," Aiba stated.
"We went out for less than a month," Jun said. "She probably doesn't care. She hasn't called or-"
Darth Vader's theme rang through the greenroom and Sho sighed yet again. He was pretty sure that it wasn't right in any society to worry about men that were twenty-five and older.
Sho stared at the back of Jun's head while they were sitting in the van. It wasn't until they drove a block away from Jun's apartment that Sho asked to be let out of the car. He told them he left something important with Jun and needed it for tomorrow. He also insisted that they go ahead and he would call a taxi to head home. After a witty retort from Nino, Sho left the vehicle and walked in the cool night air towards his fellow member's apartment complex.
When he arrived at Jun's door, Sho paused and stared at the metal handle. He didn't have a legitimate reason for being there since he lied earlier. In fact, he didn't even know why he lied or why he wanted to see Jun. He wasn't particularly worried that Jun's ex would attack him. He was certain that Jun wasn't drowning himself in alcohol to get over their recent break-up. Sho just had a nagging feeling that tonight he had to face Jun, whatever that meant.
Suffice to say that Jun was a little more than surprised to have Sho at his door and spent a good five seconds just staring at him.
"I'm not drunk," Jun said. It was more of a question to himself than any statement though.
"I'm not either, but it's pretty cold for a summer night so please let me in."
The apartment was plainer than Sho remembered. He only went there twice before, once to help Jun unpack when he first moved in and the second time was to get a script from Jun. For a person known for being flashy, the decoration on the apartment was minimal. It suited the man who lived there, only needing a few accents to show off inner charm.
The two sat in silence while sipping the barley tea Jun set out for them. While the lack of conversation wasn't awkward, Sho sitting across from Jun in the middle of the night was. He wasn't invited, had no intention of truly being there, and hardly even knew Jun anymore.
Anymore.
"So...how are you?" Sho fidgeted on the sofa. It was new and smelled funny.
"I was getting ready to sleep before you came in." Jun had sweats on and an oversized t-shirt. When did he stop wearing matching pajama sets?
"Sorry."
Jun got up to clear away the cups, but Sho suddenly grabbed his wrist. Without thinking, Jun sat down next to Sho, and looked a little unnerved by Sho's action.
"I don't," Sho began hesitantly. "Or rather, I won't. Ugh. What I mean to say is I can't tell you what to do. But I want to help you."
"Sho what are you talking about?" Jun said, shaking his head in confusion.
"It's not healthy. Jumping from relationship to relationship."
"What would you know about healthy? You sleep 3 hours a week and eat too much in one sitting."
Sho shook his head. What was he saying? He didn't come there to scold Jun like a mother to her teenage son.
Did he?
"It may not seem like it, but I still care about you," he continued. "I do. And I don't want to see you sad-"
"I'm not sad."
"-it's because you aren't, I'm worried. I'm worried because you never really get sad about leaving a relationship. Because you never really are in one where you-I don't know how to say this. Where you invest your feelings into it. Once she shows she cares, you enter a relationship, but before anything can really happen, before you feel something for her, you leave. You don't want to be rejected so you don't start anything. It can't end if it doesn't begin right? You can't get hurt over something that never happened. You're afraid that she will stop loving you...or something like that-"
"Sho. What-?"
"-and I might be babbling right now and I know I'm supposed to be better with words, but I can't- ugh! I-"
"Sho, maybe you should lie down."
"No! I mean, no thanks." Sho stood and paced a bit, trying to ignore Jun's concerned looks. "I want to tell you that you can't go out with a girl just because she's nice to you. Like how..."
"Like how what?" Sho looked Jun in the eye. It dawned on him.
"Like how I was."
"...get out."
The next day Sho called Jun. Of course he knew the younger man wouldn't pick up, but he tried anyway. He even stood outside Jun's apartment door and stuffed notes under the door. It was pathetic and Sho knew he must of sounded crazy the other night, but he needed to tell Jun. He still wasn't entirely sure what he needed to say, but he needed to say it.
They didn't have work that day, so the newscaster stood his guard. He knocked, hoping Jun would hear, hoping Jun didn't leave in the middle of the night after he had left to go home.
When the door opened, Jun was still in the same clothes from the other night. Sho walked in and toed off his shoes. He and Jun sat in the same position as the other night, but neither looked up.
"I'm sorry for yesterday. I didn't make any sense at all and I didn't mean to upset you," Sho said.
"You were right."
"What?" Sho noticed Jun still had his head down, staring at his hands.
"I didn't like any of my past girlfriends. They were good people and I broke their hearts so they couldn't break mine. It was wrong of me." Jun looked at Sho, eyes red and glistening. "Can you really blame me?"
"..." Sho turned his head away. What does one say to that? 'I'm sorry for breaking your heart when we were younger?' or 'It wasn't my intention for you to come out so twisted?'
"I don't blame you. Not completely. It's not your fault you can't lo-you can't like me." Jun took a deep breath and let out a long sigh.
Sho reached out for Jun's hands and drew them to his body, pulling Jun closer.
"I will always," he whispered. "Be your friend, your sempai, your number one idol." Jun chuckled quietly. "But we aren't in a relationship."
"..."
"And since we aren't, I can never leave you. And you can never leave me. And I can never break your heart again."
"Never say never, Sho." Sho placed Jun's hands on his face.
"I don't want to be in a relationship, but I want to be with you. Is that okay?" Jun smiled softly. Like someone who faced heart break and lived through it.
"For now."