How come I only miss livejournal this time of year?
Everything's hanging by a thread.
This is the only place my super cool facebook-savvy mother can't find me.
So...
I could just start off by saying Hi, I'm Holly, and I absolutely realize I am insane, I have abuse issues with several substances, and I trust next to no one.
Scratch that, make it no one in general. I don't even trust my dog. He just wants cookies. So I give them to him so he'll stay loyal. Funny...I try that a lot with people, too. It seems to work on them until they go to speak.
I have to keep this short because I have to go get ready to work at a job I can't stand on a Sunday.
I cope with EVERYTHING by smoking pot.
I really don't drink a lot, I'll drink a few nights a week, but it's usually a beer. Yeah, one. Last night was a big deal and it was like 3. and one vodka ginger ale. That's like "OH NO HOLLY'S OUT OF CONTROL' mode.
But that's the thing. I feel completely and totally out of control and lost. It's dark, man. I'm just trying to figure everything out and be successful but it seems in order to do that I can't have any friends? Because they hinder me and stunt me emotionally. I can't grow personally when the company I keep makes me shrink. Fuck them. Why do I care anyway.
I need to make a change. So...the only thing I can resolve to do is ignore everyone and go to the gym more. For my lifestyle, I'm in the best shape I've been in 2 years. It's because I never stop at work. Get to work. go go go. Lugging books and hardware. RUNNING through the store at every bookseller's beckoned call.
If the people all just disappeared, life would be good right now.
I totally feel Will Smith in I Am Legend.
I'm going to be writing in this every day, from now on. Until the method of therapy works, and I have the strength and courage to interact with people again.
Interacting...not performing.
Doesn't anything feel good anymore??
This is the only place my super cool facebook-savvy mother can't find me.
So...
I could just start off by saying Hi, I'm Holly, and I absolutely realize I am insane, I have abuse issues with several substances, and I trust next to no one.
Scratch that, make it no one in general. I don't even trust my dog. He just wants cookies. So I give them to him so he'll stay loyal. Funny...I try that a lot with people, too. It seems to work on them until they go to speak.
I have to keep this short because I have to go get ready to work at a job I can't stand on a Sunday.
I cope with EVERYTHING by smoking pot.
I really don't drink a lot, I'll drink a few nights a week, but it's usually a beer. Yeah, one. Last night was a big deal and it was like 3. and one vodka ginger ale. That's like "OH NO HOLLY'S OUT OF CONTROL' mode.
But that's the thing. I feel completely and totally out of control and lost. It's dark, man. I'm just trying to figure everything out and be successful but it seems in order to do that I can't have any friends? Because they hinder me and stunt me emotionally. I can't grow personally when the company I keep makes me shrink. Fuck them. Why do I care anyway.
I need to make a change. So...the only thing I can resolve to do is ignore everyone and go to the gym more. For my lifestyle, I'm in the best shape I've been in 2 years. It's because I never stop at work. Get to work. go go go. Lugging books and hardware. RUNNING through the store at every bookseller's beckoned call.
If the people all just disappeared, life would be good right now.
I totally feel Will Smith in I Am Legend.
I'm going to be writing in this every day, from now on. Until the method of therapy works, and I have the strength and courage to interact with people again.
Interacting...not performing.
Doesn't anything feel good anymore??