I just can't win.
I know I almost never post to this journal -- mostly because I'm a very private person -- but I just found out something that really hurt, and no one's around for me to talk it out with. So I'll put it here, and maybe by writing about it, it will hurt less.
The fan meet was a great success, and I'm tickled. The Briar folks bent over backwards for us, and Rottie's charity donation drive was a wonderful gesture. I was more than happy to make the nametags, and I would have made the buttons, regardless.
There are a few people that I don't get along with, and since I wanted to have fun this weekend as much as anyone else, I avoided those people. I just can't look someone in the face who I don't get along with, for whatever reason, and pretend to be friendly. I find that behavior hypocritical and two-faced. Maybe others can do that -- and obviously do, considering what I was told -- but that's not something to brag about, as far as I'm concerned. Honesty is the most important thing to me, especially in the way I deal with other people.
Now, it's common knowledge that I don't eat much on the day of a Blue Man show, and certainly not within a couple of hours of the show itself. So I chose not to attend the pizza dinner. The last time I checked, there were a bunch of folks that attended the 10 p.m. fan meet show that didn't attend the dinner -- after all, we had 53+ in the morning, and I'm fairly sure there weren't 60 people on the dinner list. Yet someone felt it necessary to claim I was "boycotting" the dinner because Rotcav had organized it, and it was a success.
Unless it was one of the two people I was making a point of not being around -- which I highly doubt -- that someone had to be a person that had talked with me earlier in the day, and no doubt thanked me for my work on the nametags and the buttons.
Yes, Rotcav has insulted me in the past, both by ridiculing my strict insistence that photos of Blue Men in or out of Blue not be ID'ed directly on the MB, out of respect for the performers' privacy...and more to the issue, by declaring that the past two Chicago fan meets were boring and flops, and that the BML would and could do a much better job. Considering the fact that I'd organized the past two, I was deeply insulted.
But even THAT got straightened out.
It doesn't matter to me who organizes a fan meet, especially in Chicago, where the bulk of the work is done by Laurie and John Strel and the rest of the Briar folks. That's not taking away from the work that Rotcav put into this one; it's just that I've organized meets at the Astor, where it's a lot more difficult, because of the seating and ticketing and extremely limited space. What ultimately matters is that the meet is a success, and the fans have fun. Period.
The idea that I'd boycott the pizza dinner because it was a success is ridiculous. And whoever felt the need to say that about me...well, I hope you got whatever you needed to out of that statement. It got back to me, and it hurt, because it wasn't true.
I stay away from people who I don't like and don't like me, in order to keep ugliness from happening like it did two years ago, so that everyone can enjoy the meet. I don't sign up for a dinner that I know I'm not going eat, and I'm "boycotting" it because it's more "successful" than ones I planned. I just can't win.
It's moments like this that suddenly make the hours I put in on labors of love -- like the nametags and the hand-assembly of fan meet buttons -- seem not worth it at all. Because I know that someone took their nametag and button, probably thanked me for it, then spread lies about me later.
What a nice, tight-knit community we have on the Blue Man Message Board, hm? It's a damned shame, because I'll never know who said that...and I'll always wonder when I'm talking with someone who was at that dinner, "was it you"?
Oh, well. This too shall pass, I suppose. At the end of the day, it's about Blue Man.
The fan meet was a great success, and I'm tickled. The Briar folks bent over backwards for us, and Rottie's charity donation drive was a wonderful gesture. I was more than happy to make the nametags, and I would have made the buttons, regardless.
There are a few people that I don't get along with, and since I wanted to have fun this weekend as much as anyone else, I avoided those people. I just can't look someone in the face who I don't get along with, for whatever reason, and pretend to be friendly. I find that behavior hypocritical and two-faced. Maybe others can do that -- and obviously do, considering what I was told -- but that's not something to brag about, as far as I'm concerned. Honesty is the most important thing to me, especially in the way I deal with other people.
Now, it's common knowledge that I don't eat much on the day of a Blue Man show, and certainly not within a couple of hours of the show itself. So I chose not to attend the pizza dinner. The last time I checked, there were a bunch of folks that attended the 10 p.m. fan meet show that didn't attend the dinner -- after all, we had 53+ in the morning, and I'm fairly sure there weren't 60 people on the dinner list. Yet someone felt it necessary to claim I was "boycotting" the dinner because Rotcav had organized it, and it was a success.
Unless it was one of the two people I was making a point of not being around -- which I highly doubt -- that someone had to be a person that had talked with me earlier in the day, and no doubt thanked me for my work on the nametags and the buttons.
Yes, Rotcav has insulted me in the past, both by ridiculing my strict insistence that photos of Blue Men in or out of Blue not be ID'ed directly on the MB, out of respect for the performers' privacy...and more to the issue, by declaring that the past two Chicago fan meets were boring and flops, and that the BML would and could do a much better job. Considering the fact that I'd organized the past two, I was deeply insulted.
But even THAT got straightened out.
It doesn't matter to me who organizes a fan meet, especially in Chicago, where the bulk of the work is done by Laurie and John Strel and the rest of the Briar folks. That's not taking away from the work that Rotcav put into this one; it's just that I've organized meets at the Astor, where it's a lot more difficult, because of the seating and ticketing and extremely limited space. What ultimately matters is that the meet is a success, and the fans have fun. Period.
The idea that I'd boycott the pizza dinner because it was a success is ridiculous. And whoever felt the need to say that about me...well, I hope you got whatever you needed to out of that statement. It got back to me, and it hurt, because it wasn't true.
I stay away from people who I don't like and don't like me, in order to keep ugliness from happening like it did two years ago, so that everyone can enjoy the meet. I don't sign up for a dinner that I know I'm not going eat, and I'm "boycotting" it because it's more "successful" than ones I planned. I just can't win.
It's moments like this that suddenly make the hours I put in on labors of love -- like the nametags and the hand-assembly of fan meet buttons -- seem not worth it at all. Because I know that someone took their nametag and button, probably thanked me for it, then spread lies about me later.
What a nice, tight-knit community we have on the Blue Man Message Board, hm? It's a damned shame, because I'll never know who said that...and I'll always wonder when I'm talking with someone who was at that dinner, "was it you"?
Oh, well. This too shall pass, I suppose. At the end of the day, it's about Blue Man.