gottagottagogottagogotttago-
dude. it's trickier to spell "gotta go" back to back without spaces than you might think.
and I just realized - why only just, I don't know - that my subject heading possibly implies something far other than the current high-anxiety, must-get-it-done mode that I am currently experiencing.
I do not have to go to the bathroom.
I do, however, have to get this monstrosity of a paper written. and so of course, I am procrastinating with a post. but my seasoned writer's mind knows that this is not really procrastinating. it is getting rid of the angst and stress that has built up and that must somehow be spilled or released before I even attempt to string two coherent words together for my paper.
also, I must add, that I am relieved I left the phone in the car, otherwise my anxiety level would be through the roof (geez, spell "roof" much? apparently "rough" much more frequently!)
I am excited though, because this paper will be a fabulous contribution to the next ICFA and I am already having delusions of grandeur when Maria Nikolajeva decides to listen to my paper. because she is very much about postmodernism and children's literature. I am psyched that she's going to be at the next ICFA. my only fear is that it will be like Marina Warner, whom I didn't get to see, and I can't remember if it was because I was unable to attend, or if it was because she had to back out. or perhaps it was both, I believe I have that consolation in the back of my mind as well. also, spiffed up sufficiently, this might even be journal-worthy. but, chicks, hatched, la.
and so I take a deep breath, forget the deadline and pick up the first highly highlighted article from my stack.
and giggle at the the other dump that I just took and remember that in the end, it will fall into place.
but until then, color me stressed out.
and I just realized - why only just, I don't know - that my subject heading possibly implies something far other than the current high-anxiety, must-get-it-done mode that I am currently experiencing.
I do not have to go to the bathroom.
I do, however, have to get this monstrosity of a paper written. and so of course, I am procrastinating with a post. but my seasoned writer's mind knows that this is not really procrastinating. it is getting rid of the angst and stress that has built up and that must somehow be spilled or released before I even attempt to string two coherent words together for my paper.
also, I must add, that I am relieved I left the phone in the car, otherwise my anxiety level would be through the roof (geez, spell "roof" much? apparently "rough" much more frequently!)
I am excited though, because this paper will be a fabulous contribution to the next ICFA and I am already having delusions of grandeur when Maria Nikolajeva decides to listen to my paper. because she is very much about postmodernism and children's literature. I am psyched that she's going to be at the next ICFA. my only fear is that it will be like Marina Warner, whom I didn't get to see, and I can't remember if it was because I was unable to attend, or if it was because she had to back out. or perhaps it was both, I believe I have that consolation in the back of my mind as well. also, spiffed up sufficiently, this might even be journal-worthy. but, chicks, hatched, la.
and so I take a deep breath, forget the deadline and pick up the first highly highlighted article from my stack.
and giggle at the the other dump that I just took and remember that in the end, it will fall into place.
but until then, color me stressed out.