Jul 19, 2005 00:15
Once again I find myself on this date writing. I can't believe its been 11 months! Time flies, i can remember it so clearly, well what I want to remember at least. Honestly I had been counting the 17th as the anniversary but she technically she died on the 18th so from now on I will honor her death on this day. None the less, shes gone, the events of that date took place on the night of the 17th leading to the 18th. Lifes path change soo quickly without any notice. My life completely changed without any previous notions or any idea of what was to come. I'm a different person because of this day, I value life differently, I value the time I spend with my family a lot more. It was really hard for the first few months, I took it pretty hard but I guess time heals wounds. Most people don't really know what happened nor how I handled it. Theresa few people out there who took the time to hear me out and just let me talk because thats all i could. All I could do was talk about becuase nothing can change the what happened or the outcome. Most people will never have to experience these things or see the things I saw so how can they possibly understand what I went through? I dont understand why I went through it but God has his ways and all we can do is trust. I dont know whats going to happen in month as my family has to come to the realization that its been a year, had that day never happened our lives would be sooo different. My take on life would be different, we would have one more little boy running around and maybe even one more on the way. Who knows. All i can do is appreciate what I do have and hope for the best.