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Duffy Creations presents:
Fairy tales: Revealed - The True Stories.
Once upon a time there lived a rooster. And a hen. The rooster and the hen loved each other very very much so they decided to take a very important step in their relationship. The rooster walked over to the hen and began pecking -
[segment deleted for content]
9 months later, the hen laid a beautiful egg. People from miles around came to the barn to gaze at it with deep admiration. However, the rooster and hen lived on an African farm, and the egg, being white, was rejected by the hen, as she did not desire a racially integrated family in which cultural differences were celebrated. She therefore kicked it into the ocean where it could sail far away from Africa into a white-dominant nation. Or get eaten by one of millions of ocean-dwelling animals.
Surprisingly, the egg passed many perils and safely landed in a nation that humans liked to call "China." It washed up on the shore, where a casual Chinese passer-by just happened to be strolling. Upon viewing the egg, he let out a scream of excitement. He ran home like the crazy Chinese person that he was, trampling many children and small animals on the way. Upon arriving at his house he yelled to his wife,
"Zhuo niao zong yu lai le!"
("Honey! The stork has come at last!").
"Fang zai zuo shang shuo yi wo men ke yi kan zhe ta shen kai!"
("Hooray! Put it on the table so we can watch it hatch!"), she responded.
"Dan shi wo yao kan zhe da qiang. wo zhe me kan ze dan ru guo dan zai shuo shang rang hou wo zai da qiang ne?"
("But I have to guard the Great Wall tonight. How will I watch it hatch if I am at the Great Wall, and the egg is on the table?"), he queried.
"Ni ba dan dai zhe ba. ni hao luo shuo."
("Take the egg with you, you stupid moron") she answered.
Egg safe in hand, the man walked to the Great Wall of China and stood guard.
Six hours later, he grew bored and decided to put the egg on the wall so he could practice his latest interpretive dance from his favorite Britney Spears album. Just as he was exclaiming "Oops! I did it again!" his hand made an accidental swipe at the egg, causing it to tumble uncontrollably to the rocky earth below. By the time he realized what he had done, it was too late.
Horrified, he called the King and asked him to despatch some men to the scene immediately to attempt to save his son, as medical experts are few and far between in China. Then, overwhelmed with grief, the man jumped off the Great Wall and plunged to a fiery death.
When the King's men arrived, they attempted to reassemble the egg, but unfortunately, forgot to bring with them any scotch tape. Unable to think of any other method of solving the problem they asked their horses if they could put the egg together again. At the horses' silence, they decided there was nothing else they could do and quickly ran off to get drunk.
If the King's men had been intelligent enough to realize that horses are unable to comprehend the language of humans, let alone repair eggs, they would also be intelligent enough to realize that they could have killed one of their horses, made some glue, and used said glue to reunite the remnants of the egg. Of course if they knew that, the suicidal man would have probably also known that the making of children is much more exciting than watching a stork egg hatch.
As the years went by, this unfortunate story was passed along to children in countries across the globe. But the egg was given a smiling face, a 2 foot wall, and a cute name - "Humpty Dumpty." But you know the truth. You know the story behind the egg.
Thanks to Tiffany for the Chinese translations :-)
Fairy tales: Revealed - The True Stories.
Once upon a time there lived a rooster. And a hen. The rooster and the hen loved each other very very much so they decided to take a very important step in their relationship. The rooster walked over to the hen and began pecking -
[segment deleted for content]
9 months later, the hen laid a beautiful egg. People from miles around came to the barn to gaze at it with deep admiration. However, the rooster and hen lived on an African farm, and the egg, being white, was rejected by the hen, as she did not desire a racially integrated family in which cultural differences were celebrated. She therefore kicked it into the ocean where it could sail far away from Africa into a white-dominant nation. Or get eaten by one of millions of ocean-dwelling animals.
Surprisingly, the egg passed many perils and safely landed in a nation that humans liked to call "China." It washed up on the shore, where a casual Chinese passer-by just happened to be strolling. Upon viewing the egg, he let out a scream of excitement. He ran home like the crazy Chinese person that he was, trampling many children and small animals on the way. Upon arriving at his house he yelled to his wife,
"Zhuo niao zong yu lai le!"
("Honey! The stork has come at last!").
"Fang zai zuo shang shuo yi wo men ke yi kan zhe ta shen kai!"
("Hooray! Put it on the table so we can watch it hatch!"), she responded.
"Dan shi wo yao kan zhe da qiang. wo zhe me kan ze dan ru guo dan zai shuo shang rang hou wo zai da qiang ne?"
("But I have to guard the Great Wall tonight. How will I watch it hatch if I am at the Great Wall, and the egg is on the table?"), he queried.
"Ni ba dan dai zhe ba. ni hao luo shuo."
("Take the egg with you, you stupid moron") she answered.
Egg safe in hand, the man walked to the Great Wall of China and stood guard.
Six hours later, he grew bored and decided to put the egg on the wall so he could practice his latest interpretive dance from his favorite Britney Spears album. Just as he was exclaiming "Oops! I did it again!" his hand made an accidental swipe at the egg, causing it to tumble uncontrollably to the rocky earth below. By the time he realized what he had done, it was too late.
Horrified, he called the King and asked him to despatch some men to the scene immediately to attempt to save his son, as medical experts are few and far between in China. Then, overwhelmed with grief, the man jumped off the Great Wall and plunged to a fiery death.
When the King's men arrived, they attempted to reassemble the egg, but unfortunately, forgot to bring with them any scotch tape. Unable to think of any other method of solving the problem they asked their horses if they could put the egg together again. At the horses' silence, they decided there was nothing else they could do and quickly ran off to get drunk.
If the King's men had been intelligent enough to realize that horses are unable to comprehend the language of humans, let alone repair eggs, they would also be intelligent enough to realize that they could have killed one of their horses, made some glue, and used said glue to reunite the remnants of the egg. Of course if they knew that, the suicidal man would have probably also known that the making of children is much more exciting than watching a stork egg hatch.
As the years went by, this unfortunate story was passed along to children in countries across the globe. But the egg was given a smiling face, a 2 foot wall, and a cute name - "Humpty Dumpty." But you know the truth. You know the story behind the egg.
Thanks to Tiffany for the Chinese translations :-)