(no subject)
So clas got out early...and my afternoon class is canceled...so I get to wait for 2-3 hours for the first bus that goes home...
last night was interesting...I found out that a person can only go through so many emotions in one night before they get sick...I wish that I could explain with out it hurting...but I can't even seem to think about thing without crying or getting upset...why does it seem like everytime I am doing good and getting on with my life something or someone else pops up and wrecks it all...ugg...I guess I will never understand why...I just have to deal with it.
Life group was pretty good...the lesson was great the tension could have not been there though...I also felt kind of strange...like I wasn't really wanted there...I know alot of stuff is going on and I wish I didn't...then I could just be oblivious...I know what I feel would still be there but I wouldn't know why and wouldn't concentrate on it...sorry if this is cryptic but I can't say more with out gossiping and I made a promise to God and myself that I would stop that...
Everyone I know at the moment could use some prayers...some I havn't heard from in a while but that might also be my fault for not contacting them..but with all the drama going on around here I kind of don't want to talk to anyone right now...
So I guess all that is left for this post is a complete rant on how I am feeling...ever noticed how people ask you how you are and then just tune out and then when you are done say oh that's nice or oh that to bad but could tell you what is going on in your life...so here is my rant...
someone told me I shouldn't keep my feeling closed up inside but every time I try to open up...I feel like no one really cares and that what I have to say doesn't matter...so don't expect me to talk very often...unles it is about trivial stuff...not that amyone ever reads this...I spent two hours typing up part of my life's story and not one comment...no one even cares...so whatever...I don't care...I will continue to post stuff...but don't bother commenting...since nothing in my life is important...I don't even matter to people who said they cared...and no one notices that I care about them...I must be really ugly and totally disgusting...there are no men who like me...none of them even look at me like I am attractive...I am just an ugly child...but who cares right...no one does...
last night was interesting...I found out that a person can only go through so many emotions in one night before they get sick...I wish that I could explain with out it hurting...but I can't even seem to think about thing without crying or getting upset...why does it seem like everytime I am doing good and getting on with my life something or someone else pops up and wrecks it all...ugg...I guess I will never understand why...I just have to deal with it.
Life group was pretty good...the lesson was great the tension could have not been there though...I also felt kind of strange...like I wasn't really wanted there...I know alot of stuff is going on and I wish I didn't...then I could just be oblivious...I know what I feel would still be there but I wouldn't know why and wouldn't concentrate on it...sorry if this is cryptic but I can't say more with out gossiping and I made a promise to God and myself that I would stop that...
Everyone I know at the moment could use some prayers...some I havn't heard from in a while but that might also be my fault for not contacting them..but with all the drama going on around here I kind of don't want to talk to anyone right now...
So I guess all that is left for this post is a complete rant on how I am feeling...ever noticed how people ask you how you are and then just tune out and then when you are done say oh that's nice or oh that to bad but could tell you what is going on in your life...so here is my rant...
someone told me I shouldn't keep my feeling closed up inside but every time I try to open up...I feel like no one really cares and that what I have to say doesn't matter...so don't expect me to talk very often...unles it is about trivial stuff...not that amyone ever reads this...I spent two hours typing up part of my life's story and not one comment...no one even cares...so whatever...I don't care...I will continue to post stuff...but don't bother commenting...since nothing in my life is important...I don't even matter to people who said they cared...and no one notices that I care about them...I must be really ugly and totally disgusting...there are no men who like me...none of them even look at me like I am attractive...I am just an ugly child...but who cares right...no one does...