Soon to be a Four-eyed Freak
I don’t like going to new doctors.
I don’t think anyone does, really.
But since that time about 3 years ago now (I think) when they discovered and abnormal lump in my tummy and I went to a new doctor about once a week and had the fingers of EVERY gyno in Chatham county up my vagina, I’m new-doctor phobic.
I remember finally drawing the line and telling the last doctor, the one that finally did my surgery, that I refused to take my panties off until he would tell me he wasn’t going to send me to someone else because I was tired of being felt up by strangers.
What I’m getting at is...I went to a new doctor today.
My husbands optometrist. Because he doesn’t think that it’s a good idea to drive all the way to Dublin so I can see Dr. Whitaker when there are capable optometrists right here in Savannah.
See, I’m comfortable with Dr. Whitaker. I’ve not been to see him since 1999, but I know his waiting room. I know his exam room. I know that I can see the hair in his nose when he leans close to my face. I know that he breath doesn’t stink.
On the bright side, at least an eye exam doesn’t call for personal groping.
So, I had an appointment with Dr. Croll at 9:45 this morning. I had to go do all that new patient paperwork. Then I had to wait.
I got called into different exam rooms and sent back to the waiting room several times. I had about half a dozen different bright and painful lights shined in my eyes. I got to see Dr. Croll herself for about all of 10 minutes, if that long.
The result one one hell of a headache caused by the various light sources shined into my eyes.
I was scolded for it being so long between eye exams. I was told to get a pair of glasses and to NOT wear my contacts as often as I have been.
I was also told that my left contact is so warped that they can’t even get a reading on it...whatever the fuck that means.
So, I was told to wear my contacts until I get glasses, then wear glasses some, and I can make another appointment to get fitted for new contacts if I want, but a pair of glasses is a must.
Today’s visit costed me $166, so I don’t see another visit in my near future.
I may be wearing glasses again in a bit for quite a while.
I hate that. I have a round face. A fat face. Fat faces, as a rule, look even fatter with glasses on.
Yuck!
I’m doomed.
Meanwhile, I get to leave the Dr. Croll's office at 11:30 with a pounding headache caused by the multitude of bright lights shined in my eyes, and dilated pupils.
They even sent me out into the bright sunshine without those flimsy paper and plastic shades that I always got from Dr. Whitaker. That really, really, REALLY hurt.
I looked at myself in the mirror when I got home, and thought of evil black eyed witches and shit. My pupils were HUGE and had a small light blue ring around them. It was sort of neat looking.
I would have gotten my photographer husband to take a picture of my kick-ass evil eyes, but the pain that would have been caused by the flash probably would have landed me in an asylum somewhere.