driving
so today after weight lifting, my dad picks me up and complains for like the thousandth time about having to drive my brother and i everywhere. he says "i have a job and i hate having to come out here and drive you all over town. you think i like sitting in a hot car waiting for an hour for you all to do weight lifting? shit, half the sophomores are driving themselves into this shit."
and i was like "well im sorry dad that i am younger than half the sophomores and that i havent been able to get my license because i had major knee reconstruction." i mean really wtf does he want from me? and now he is complaining about having to take me into driver's ed every morning. and im like, how do you expect me to pass my driving test and get my license if you wont let me go to class? i mean i want to get my license too. and i dont understand how this suddenly turned into a necessity. what if i wasnt ready to drive? i guess it doesnt matter if i crash and die. as long as he doesnt have to take me anywhere. and he acts like its all my fault. and im like, fine take me out of soccer, chorus, everything that i love. just take it all away from me and ill sit at home and only ever leave when i have to ride the bus to school. i just feel like crying and yelling at him. im so frustrated. its not like i wanted to blow out my knee. its not like i wanted to spend 6 weeks in a wheelchair. its not like i wanted to spend nine horrific months without being able to play the sport i love and its killing me. i hate it and every day i wonder if ill ever be good enough again. its a terrible thing to feel like you are useless and that you cant do everything for yourself. i just want him to be proud of me. but i dont know what else i can do.
anyway, i just needed to vent a bit.
and i was like "well im sorry dad that i am younger than half the sophomores and that i havent been able to get my license because i had major knee reconstruction." i mean really wtf does he want from me? and now he is complaining about having to take me into driver's ed every morning. and im like, how do you expect me to pass my driving test and get my license if you wont let me go to class? i mean i want to get my license too. and i dont understand how this suddenly turned into a necessity. what if i wasnt ready to drive? i guess it doesnt matter if i crash and die. as long as he doesnt have to take me anywhere. and he acts like its all my fault. and im like, fine take me out of soccer, chorus, everything that i love. just take it all away from me and ill sit at home and only ever leave when i have to ride the bus to school. i just feel like crying and yelling at him. im so frustrated. its not like i wanted to blow out my knee. its not like i wanted to spend 6 weeks in a wheelchair. its not like i wanted to spend nine horrific months without being able to play the sport i love and its killing me. i hate it and every day i wonder if ill ever be good enough again. its a terrible thing to feel like you are useless and that you cant do everything for yourself. i just want him to be proud of me. but i dont know what else i can do.
anyway, i just needed to vent a bit.