(no subject)
On sat night I decided to be productive around the house. I dismantled the bizarre shelf/closet thing in my bedroom. In the process I cracked plaster in a at least half a dozen places and managed to wallop myself in the chin with a hammer. I have one hell of a funky looking bruise.
I got a package from my dad friday. He sent me a Kalevela silver necklace with a bear design. The little pamphlet says the bear represents strength and leadership. If there was ever a time I could use that it's now.
My panic attacks are getting worse. My doctor is now saying to switch jobs instead of taking leave. Switch jobs to do what? Retail's all I know, which sounds really sad now that I've actually typed it out. I'm actually finding myself jealous of those struggling through school or life because at least they seem to have a goal. I don't even know what I want anymore. I don't know when the last time was that I did, and that really scares me.
Anyone care to offer me any insight? Have a really let any of you know me that well? I don't think so. I'm very isolated in some ways, very alone, very secret. It's beautiful irony really since I've always said I wanted my epitaph to read "well loved" not "hard worker" or even "wise and respected". How did I get so lost?
I got a package from my dad friday. He sent me a Kalevela silver necklace with a bear design. The little pamphlet says the bear represents strength and leadership. If there was ever a time I could use that it's now.
My panic attacks are getting worse. My doctor is now saying to switch jobs instead of taking leave. Switch jobs to do what? Retail's all I know, which sounds really sad now that I've actually typed it out. I'm actually finding myself jealous of those struggling through school or life because at least they seem to have a goal. I don't even know what I want anymore. I don't know when the last time was that I did, and that really scares me.
Anyone care to offer me any insight? Have a really let any of you know me that well? I don't think so. I'm very isolated in some ways, very alone, very secret. It's beautiful irony really since I've always said I wanted my epitaph to read "well loved" not "hard worker" or even "wise and respected". How did I get so lost?