I feel tired. I'm soooo tired.
I received an answering letter from my family. Apparently they're having the same problems in Aquroya as we are having here.
God save us. Everything's going wrong. I feel like we're in a war, except that we're fighting each other. And the universe.
~~~
I spoke to Father Thomas. I told him... well, I spoke to him at great length. I've had a lot on my mind... a lot to confess. But I told him what... what Ren told me. About these things happening in every dimension he's been to, and how he thinks it's the Apocalypse. Father Thomas is troubled... these are not exactly the signs described in the Bible. He has written to the Pope for guidance.
I'm worried. I'm scared. If these truly are the End Times... I feel like I should be with my family. But I can't leave Mal. Maybe he would come with me.
About Ren... it was worse than I feared. I didn't think it could possibly be worse. I thought that him forgetting about me and leaving and never returning was as bad as it got. I thought I had failed, but... there was at least some hope that he might remember, some day, and that his memories would guide him in my stead. But this... this is so much worse than I could have possibly imagined. He's here, and he seems more rational than he did before he left... but he just doesn't care. I can't reach him when he's like this. I failed you, Lord. I failed Ren, I failed everyone. I'm not stupid, I know the entirety of the task was beyond me... but it seems I had no effect at all.
This will haunt me for the rest of my life, I know it. Even if I never see him again, if I never hear from him, it will be there, like a blister on my brain. I will think of what was, and what could have been, and what came to pass... and it will hurt, it will always hurt.
I loved him too much. But how could I not?
...I don't know whether or not to hope for Armageddon.
~~~
Mal, I've convinced Gluttony to play bodyguard for us. If you need to go out for any reason, please, take him with you.
~~~
Roy, I have some information concerning those responsible for the murder of First Lieutenant Hawkeye, and the mass-murder of civilians, especially Xingians and Ishbalans, presumably by soldiers. ...They're not soldiers.
God save us. Everything's going wrong. I feel like we're in a war, except that we're fighting each other. And the universe.
~~~
I spoke to Father Thomas. I told him... well, I spoke to him at great length. I've had a lot on my mind... a lot to confess. But I told him what... what Ren told me. About these things happening in every dimension he's been to, and how he thinks it's the Apocalypse. Father Thomas is troubled... these are not exactly the signs described in the Bible. He has written to the Pope for guidance.
I'm worried. I'm scared. If these truly are the End Times... I feel like I should be with my family. But I can't leave Mal. Maybe he would come with me.
About Ren... it was worse than I feared. I didn't think it could possibly be worse. I thought that him forgetting about me and leaving and never returning was as bad as it got. I thought I had failed, but... there was at least some hope that he might remember, some day, and that his memories would guide him in my stead. But this... this is so much worse than I could have possibly imagined. He's here, and he seems more rational than he did before he left... but he just doesn't care. I can't reach him when he's like this. I failed you, Lord. I failed Ren, I failed everyone. I'm not stupid, I know the entirety of the task was beyond me... but it seems I had no effect at all.
This will haunt me for the rest of my life, I know it. Even if I never see him again, if I never hear from him, it will be there, like a blister on my brain. I will think of what was, and what could have been, and what came to pass... and it will hurt, it will always hurt.
I loved him too much. But how could I not?
...I don't know whether or not to hope for Armageddon.
~~~
Mal, I've convinced Gluttony to play bodyguard for us. If you need to go out for any reason, please, take him with you.
~~~
Roy, I have some information concerning those responsible for the murder of First Lieutenant Hawkeye, and the mass-murder of civilians, especially Xingians and Ishbalans, presumably by soldiers. ...They're not soldiers.