[fic] From Broken Wings {2/2} - part 4
[fic] From Broken Wings {2/2} - part 4
pairing: akame, ryouchi (implied XD)
rating: pg-13
Summary: sequel to Concrete Angel. They always knew they were special to each other, that no matter what drove them apart, they'd always have each other in some way or another, but is there more connecting them than just lifelong friendship? What is the meaning behind these haunting dreams that tore them apart in the first place?
part 1-1 | part 1-2 | part 1-3 | part 1-4 | part 1-5 | part 1-6 |
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part 2-1 | part 2-2 | part 2-3 |
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Jin tapped his foot on the floor as he sat on the chair in Ryo’s room; they weren’t doing anything in particular, but Yamapi had finally called to say he was coming over soon, with an added message of ‘don’t antagonize Jin too much Ryo!’ to the younger boy who had taken the call.
So, with a grumble, Ryo sighed at Jin, “What’s eating you?” he asked begrudgingly; usually, he left the talks about Jin’s problems up to Yamapi, simply because it was just too easy for him to either accidentally or purposely rile Jin up. Actually, Pi had even forbidden him to talk to Jin about his problems at one point. Ryo was sure Yamapi had forgotten by now though.
“Nothing,” Jin muttered absently.
Ryo made a scoffing noise, “Yeah. Sure. I totally believe that. It’s not as though you’ve been tapping your foot like that ever since you got here, which totally isn’t a sign that something’s bothering you.”
“It’s not!” Jin protested, but even as he said that, he knew Ryo didn’t believe him. Hell, he didn’t even believe himself. All day, he had been thinking about what he had done earlier that morning, and…every time he did, he got confused and flustered. What was he thinking? What was he doing?
“I was being sarcastic, and you know, you can either wait for Pi to get here and make you do the right thing or you can tell me and I can try my best not to laugh at you. I think you should choose the first option.”
Jin stared at Ryo suspiciously, “You just don’t want to deal with my problems!” he accused.
Ryo smirked, “That too. And you just admitted you have a problem,” he said, and Jin’s eyes widened at the realization. He looked in panic at Ryo, who had a smug expression on his face.
Jin glared at Ryo, “I hate you.” He muttered.
“Hate is just another form of love,” Ryo said flippantly, “Apparently. Or something wise that Pi would say that would make you stop being so irritating and tell him everything.”
Jin stared strangely at Ryo, “You’re really not good at this are you?”
Ryo raised an eyebrow, “Why do you think I let Pi do this normally?”
“If I remember right, last time I had to blackmail you to go away,” Pi’s voice interrupted them and the two turned around to see the younger boy making his way into Ryo’s room, looking strangely at the two of them, “What have I told you two about having heart to heart conversations? Ryo’s too snarky and Jin’s to easily riled up for that too work. Besides,” he stared at Ryo, “Didn’t I ban you from trying to help Jin with serious problems?”
Ryo shrugged, “It was worth a try. Besides, what are we going to do next year when you’re in school and Jin has some sort of identity crisis or something midday - drag you out of school?”
Jin glared, while Yamapi chuckled, “So, in other words, you’re worried and want to help too.”
“Am not! I do not!” It was Ryo’s turn to glare and Jin’s turn to smirk.
“Then, leave while I talk to Jin.” Yamapi suggested with a knowing smile.
Ryo glared at him, grumbling, “This is my room.” He pointed out and didn’t move.
Yamapi’s smile widened as he turned to Jin, “So what’s bothering you this time?” he asked knowingly. Jin always did have a feeling Yamapi should work as a counsellor or something; he definitely talked Jin through some of his more emotional problems enough times. He supposed it was what came with the job of best friend, but Yamapi was extremely good at it.
“Nothing’s bothering me,” Jin muttered as sat with his legs bent and hugged his knees, “It’s nothing.” He repeated.
Yamapi raised an eyebrow and sighed, “Jin, I think I know you a bit better than that than to believe that,” he said as he sat across from Jin in the exact same position, “What’s up?” he asked.
Jin’s lips twitched a little at the way his best friend was copying the way he was sitting, “Are you trying to ‘relate’ to me again?”
“It seems to help me see things from your perspective, even if it’s just sitting position.” Yamapi said with a grin, “Now, what’s up? Does this have to do with Kamenashi?”
“No!” Jin said right away - and too quickly.
Ryo’s smirk didn’t escape his notice.
“And shut it Ryo!” he snapped irritably, “I can see that smirk!”
“Well, it’s not my fault you’re so obvious.” Ryo said defensively.
“I’m not obvious about anything!” Jin argued, “And you just want to see me humiliate myself or something! You’re so mean!”
“At least I don’t get tongue-tied in front of the person I like, like you did today!” Ryo shot back.
“I don’t like him! I’m just letting all your teasing get to me! It’s all your fault that -” Jin stopped himself, turning red.
Ryo looked curiously on as Yamapi shook his head with a sigh.
“All my fault that what?” Ryo asked.
“Ryo.” Yamapi said warningly.
“What? I want to know what he’s blaming me for this time since he never seems to face anything on his own,” Ryo said scathingly.
“I don’t always blame you!”
“But you always run away!” Ryo retorted, “The past year with Kamenashi proved that didn’t it? Avoiding him - did you think nobody noticed?”
“I -” Jin bristled angrily, “Fine. You want to know what I’m blaming you for? I’m blaming you for the fact that this morning, I kissed him while he was asleep! There, you happy now?!” he growled out. Then, he realized what he had just blurted out and paled, staring at Ryo in shock and horror at what he had just revealed.
Ryo and Pi were silent for a long moment.
“Jin…”
“My inner, practically non-existent, emotional self is jumping up and down, going ‘finally’ and ‘yay’.” Ryo said blandly, “Are you serious? You’re blaming me for that?”
“It is! It’s all your fault! It’s all your teasing and -”
“Okay, Ryo, you’re on time-out for now,” Pi interrupted before Ryo could retort and make the tension in the room any worse, “Go call Uchi and talk about your day or whatever you normally do with him.”
“He’s next door!”
“Then go bug him. I promise there will be no mutilation of any of your Leah Dizon posters,” Yamapi said solemnly, “Nor will I go through your room, look for embarrassingly cute childhood pictures and post them on the school website.”
Ryo glared at Yamapi suspiciously, “I don’t trust you.”
“Then sit on your bed and don’t say anything.”
“Fine,” Ryo said petulantly.
“Jin,” Yamapi turned to the oldest one, “You kissed Kamenashi?”
Jin looked down at his hands, before answering with a red face and a tiny voice, “Maybe.”
“Jin…”
“Fine, I did! I did it this morning at his place when he was asleep and unaware! I molested his lips while he was sleeping! Is that what you want to hear?!”
Yamapi scowled at Jin, “I’m trying to help you, so don’t snap at me.”
Jin looked away with a similar scowl.
“Why did you kiss him then?” Yamapi pressed gently, “You don’t just randomly kiss people out of the blue. Why did you kiss him?”
“I…I don’t know! It’s because Ryo’s been teasing me this whole time about him!” Jin protested, earning a fierce glare from Ryo.
“That won’t make you have sudden urges to kiss someone you know,” Yamapi pointed out, “Jin, you’re attracted to Kamenashi, aren’t you?”
“What?!” Jin turned red, eyes wide and panicked, “N - no, I’m…”
“He’s your childhood friend, but you act different with him than with anyone else. When you’re with him, it’s almost like you’re off in your own world, and you stare at him a lot when you think no one noticed, even last year when you were trying to discourage him from talking to you.”
Jin opened his mouth to protest, but he could only manage a meek, “No…I don’t…” that didn’t sound very convincing to anybody in the room, especially not to himself.
“I’m going to let you think about it.” Yamapi said with a raised eyebrow, “I know you and he are childhood friends but this is not just friendship apparently. I think we all saw it, all of us except you. You don’t randomly get urges to kiss me or Ryo do you? This is different, Jin. Think about it. Think about what you do toward Kamenashi; think about what happened during that kiss…think about it all, and don’t go blaming any of us for teasing you and pushing you into it, because if anything, you’d be more determined to not do it if we teased you about something.”
Jin was silent, staring at Pi with wide eyes.
“He and I…we’re just…” he tried to explain, only to stop when he remembered that jolt of feeling he had gotten when he had brushed his lips against Kazuya’s earlier that morning, the surge of emotion in his heart whenever Kazuya smiled at him; the pang in his heart when Kazuya looked sad or upset - the total fear he had been in when he had found Kazuya injured in that locker room.
When you’re hurt, I’m scared more than anything I’ve ever felt before; when you’re sad, I feel my heart breaking; when you’re happy, no matter what mood I’m in, I become happy too…
Jin knew what those signs pointed to; he knew what the quickening pulse whenever he saw Kazuya’s smile directed at him meant, the emotions that he had been trying to pass off as just because Kazuya was a special friend to him, not anything more. But it wasn’t, wasn’t it? Jin felt his heart skip a beat as he thought of Kazuya, of liking Kazuya, and no matter how much he pleaded inside, his heart refused to deny that perhaps, just maybe, Pi was right, and he liked Kazuya.
He liked Kazuya.
“Why do you have to make so much sense?” Jin mumbled asked he hugged his knees to his chest again, “I hate you. What am I supposed to do now?”
How was he supposed to face Kazuya now? This changed everything; he knew it would, which was why he was so adamant that it wasn’t true; this would change everything about their relationship. How was he supposed to go home and face Kazuya like normal?
* * *
By the time Tatsuya dropped Kazuya off at Jin’s place, it was past dinnertime and Kazuya was feeling a bit better. Tatsuya’s attempts to distract him had definitely worked. However, when he walked back into the house, he found that, to his surprise, Jin was sitting at the kitchen table and eating a late dinner.
“Jin,” he said in surprise, before he flushed a little, Tatsuya’s words from earlier coming back to him. He blinked as Jin suddenly took on an embarrassed look, before mumbling a ‘hey’ and going back to his meal.
Kazuya was confused, but at the same time, slightly grateful. The moment he had seen Jin, his heart had decided to beat quicker and…
There was that feeling in the pit of his stomach; a nervous feeling he normally associated with things that scared him, but…he wasn’t scared of Jin, so…
But you have feelings for him, a voice that sounded suspiciously like Tatsuya said suddenly in his head.
He shook his head, trying to shake that thought away; just because Tatsuya had thought so, didn’t mean it was true. Just because he had spent more effort than normal to try to speak to Jin last year, didn’t mean he had a crush; Jin was…he had just wanted to reconnect with Jin again, because deep down, he knew Jin was special to him…as a friend…right?
He hated how, even in his own head, the argument sounded unconvincing.
“Are you okay?”
Kazuya blinked when he saw Jin standing in front of him and looking at him in concern.
“You’ve been standing there, shaking your head for the past two minutes or so,” Jin said, clearly concerned as he put the back of his hand on Kazuya’s forehead, “You’re not getting sick are you?”
Kazuya could only look up and shake his head again, unable to say anything. Jin’s eyes, staring directly into his, suddenly left him speechless and his heart skipped a beat, especially as his internal arguments that he didn’t like Jin that way faded away once under Jin’s gaze. He was aware of his cheeks heating up a little, as Jin suddenly froze and looked directly into his eyes.
After a moment of standing there like that, Kazuya suddenly jumped when a thumb made its way to the corner of his lips. The movement jolted Jin out of staring at Kazuya and he let out a yelp of, “Sorry!” before looking away and hurrying back to the kitchen table.
Kazuya stared in confusion at Jin, putting his fingers to where Jin’s thumb had brushed against the corner of his lips, “Jin?”
“Sorry,” Jin mumbled as he stuffed a bite of food into his mouth, and he looked down, “I didn’t mean anything -”
“No, it’s okay…” Kazuya said slowly; his heart was racing so fast, too fast, and he groaned inwardly when he realized he could no longer deny Tatsuya’s words.
“I’m…I’ll be upstairs,” Kazuya said quickly to Jin’s back, before bolting out of the room, a hand over his beating heart. Once inside his room, with the door closed tightly, he threw himself onto the bed and looked at the ceiling.
I hate it when Tat-chan’s right…
“What am I going to do?” Kazuya moaned into his pillow; he was living in the same house as Jin! He would see Jin every day! This wasn’t like last year where he could get discouraged every time Jin ignored him; Jin never ignored him like that anymore, so what was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to stop these feelings?
And…
Did he really want to?
“I can’t like him,” he said, hoping that if he said it enough times, it would be true, “I don’t like him. I can’t…”
And yet, the more he tried to deny it, the truer the words seemed.
* * *
When Jin arrived at school the next day, he made a beeline for Toma’s locker, mostly because he knew that Pi would most likely be there with Toma before class. And he also knew Ryo would be off somewhere with Uchi, so the chances of Ryo being there were practically non-existent.
“You…” Yamapi blinked as he and Toma stared dumbfounded at Jin, “Holy shit. You look like hell.”
And he did; there were dark circles under Jin’s eyes, he looked pale and his eyes were bloodshot. His hair was also messed up, as though he had spent the whole night tossing and turning in bed and hadn’t bothered to do anything about its messy state and had just thrown his school uniform on and then left the house.
Of course, that had been what had happened, so Jin glared, before he sighed and rubbed his eyes, “I couldn’t sleep…” he whined.
“Um….why?” Pi asked hesitantly.
“Because of what you said!” Jin retorted, “About…you know…” he lowered his voice.
Yamapi blinked, “What? OH, because you like -”
Jin hissed as he clamped a hand over Yamapi’s mouth, “Shh!” he grumbled, looking around furtively, “Alright, you’re right; I like that person okay?! Don’t have to announce it to the school you know,” he hissed.
Yamapi glared and Jin let out a shriek that made heads turn toward him as he jumped away from his best friend.
Toma grinned, “I can guess what happened.” He laughed at Jin’s expense.
“You licked me!” Jin shrieked, blowing on his hand, “Now I have to wash my hand before class, and ewww, Pi!”
“That’s what you get,” Yamapi stuck his tongue out, making Jin jump away from said tongue.
“Keep your tongue away from me!” Jin glared.
“So, about your sleeping problems…”
“They’re all your fault! How am I supposed to sleep when I know that…” Jin faltered, unable to finish.
“That Kamenashi is in the room across from you and he doesn’t know that you secretly molested his lips while he had been sleeping?”
Jin glowered, while Toma laughed.
“Seriously Jin?” Toma asked incredulously, “I thought you were braver than that.”
“I am brave!” Jin glared at his friend, “I just…I don’t know what to do about this,” he muttered, kicking at the floor.
Toma laughed, “If you were brave, you’d try to ask him out instead of brooding about it.” He retorted, raising an eyebrow.
“I am brave!” Jin glowered, “What do you know? You’re - you’re…you know what, I will ask him out and then when he laughs in my face and rejects me, I’m going to go to your place and eat all your chocolate!” he retorted, storming off.
As he left, Toma let a grin cross his face, “I don’t see why you thought it would be so hard.” He commented to Yamapi.
“Yeah, well, he doesn’t suspect tricks like that from you,” Yamapi retorted, “If it had been Ryo, he’d have caught on and wouldn’t be declaring his intentions to ask Kamenashi out.”
Toma grinned, “Glad I could help then.”
“Yeah, without sneaky tricks like that, it would have taken at least a few weeks more of Jin’s brooding and Ryo and Jin bickering before Jin would actually ask Kamenashi out.”
“It can’t be that bad…”
“It took him until now to realize he liked Kamenashi didn’t he?”
“…point taken.”
* * *
It was lunchtime and Kazuya was at his locker, looking for something, when Jin suddenly showed up, seemingly out of nowhere. The older boy looked out of breath and had a determined glint in his eyes.
“Jin?” he blinked in surprise at the sudden appearance.
“Kazuya!” Jin said loudly and determinedly.
“Um…yes?” Kazuya asked, looking at Jin strangely, “What’s up?”
Jin opened his mouth, and was about to say something, but then he faltered, stopping himself. Kazuya tilted his head, looking at Jin in concern, “Jin?”
“Um…” Jin managed.
“Um?”
“I…um…okay, I…” Jin took a deep breath, determined to get it out. Before he could though, a sudden surge of nervous panic overtook him, as he looked at Kazuya who was looking in confusion at him.
“Jin, are you sure you’re okay?” Kazuya asked, staring at Jin strangely; Jin kept staring at him, and although at first it had caused his heart - damn it! - to suddenly beat very quickly, he was now getting kind of worried.
“I…uh…” Jin felt all his resolve melt away. What if he was right and Kazuya only rejected him, or worse, laughed at him? He didn’t think he would be able to take it…
“I…want to walk home with you today!” Jin finally blurted out, before he realized what he said and cursed in his mind. Damn it; he hadn’t been able to do it after all! He opened his mouth, ready to correct himself, when Kazuya nodded, but was still looking at Jin strangely.
“We walk home together every day?” Kazuya pointed out hesitantly, “You won’t let me walk home alone.”
Jin blinked and then chuckled sheepishly, purposely ignoring the heat going to his ears in embarrassment, “Um…well you went with Ueda yesterday!” he said finally, “And…I’ll see you after school!” he said suddenly before taking off at a run back to where he had left his friends.
“So, how’d it go?” Pi asked, a twinkle in his eyes. Toma looked up curiously.
“I failed,” Jin moaned in misery, “Pi, I am a coward! I couldn’t say it!”
Yamapi sighed and patted Jin on the back.
“It’s okay; I’m sure you tried?” He offered optimistically.
“Pi, how am I supposed to say anything to him?!”
Toma tried his hardest to hide the laugh that wanted to escape; instead, he shook his head and patted Jin on the head, “Guess you’ll have to learn how to be a man,” he joked.
Jin’s eyes snapped to Toma, “I am a man!”
“Prove it.” Toma retorted.
“I - damn it, I will,” Jin retorted, switching from misery to anger in a manner of seconds, “I’m going to ask him out today when we’re walking home from school!”
“Good luck with that!”
“I’ll do it, I really will!”
“I’ll believe it when I see it.” Toma said calmly.
Jin gave a glare before storming off.
“I think I’d go insane without you.” Pi said with a laugh as he watched Jin leave.
“This will take a while, won’t it?”
“Not if we speed things up,” Pi said with a glint in his eyes.
Toma took on a delighted look, “Ooh, what Ryo-like thing are we planning now?” he asked excitedly.
“Well…”
* * *
“Hey Kame-chan,” Koki said as he sat down next to Kazuya in the cafeteria, “I heard something interesting.”
Kazuya looked up curiously, raising his eyes to tell Koki to continue.
“Apparently, Akanishi is going to ask you out today.”
There was a loud sound as Kazuya choked on the juice he had been drinking. He dropped the juice box as he bent over, coughing violently from swallowing the juice the wrong way.
“What?!” he managed to rasp out.
“Well, I heard it from Minoru in my class, who heard it from Keita in your class, who heard it from Sato Takeru in first year, who heard it from Tamaki Hiroshi, the teacher-in-training in Akanishi’s class, that apparently Akanishi has the hots for you and is going to ask you out.”
Kazuya, who was still recovering from choking on his juice earlier, choked again, “What?”
Koki raised an eyebrow at him, “Is there something you should tell me?”
“No!” Kazuya insisted, turning red, “It’s nothing! I don’t know anything about it! It’s just a rumour anyways!”
Koki raised an eyebrow but hummed disbelievingly, “If you say so…”
“I do say so!” Kazuya retorted, trying to find something else to talk about - quickly. Luckily for him, the bell rang and he shot out of his chair, “Well, got to get to class, learning is important and all that, bye Koki!” he said quickly as he ran off. Outside the cafeteria, he took a deep breath.
It couldn’t be true right? There was no way Jin liked him back.
He froze.
Liked him back? No, no, he meant liked him! Because liking back meant Kazuya liked Jin and…
Kazuya entered his classroom mentally debating with himself in his head.
“Kame-chan,” Junno slid into his seat and blinked at Kazuya, “I just heard the strangest thing…”
Kazuya glanced up quickly, “What?” he asked, not quite sure he wanted to know.
“Is it true that Akanishi kissed you? Or maybe it was he wants to kiss you…” Junno muttered.
“Where did you hear that?!” Kazuya asked quickly, trying his hardest to suppress the fluttery feeling in his heart at the thought that maybe Jin actually felt the same -
No, not the same. Felt something. Because Kazuya didn’t…
“I heard it from Koyama in class C, who heard it from Tegoshi in first year…and um…I think he heard it from Aragaki.” Junno said with a beaming smile, “Congratulations, Kame-chan! After last year…”
“It’s not like that!” Kazuya tried to explain quickly, “It’s just a rumour and I don’t like him that way and…”
“Kame-chan, be happy!” Junno said with a grin, “We all saw how you pined after Akanishi last year; it’s a good thing, and oh, Tat-chan says that if Akanishi’s hands don’t stay at his sides the entire time and away from your skin, Akanishi is going to have broken arms for the rest of the year.”
“How does Tat-chan know?!” Kazuya half-whined, half-sobbed. These rumours were getting so out of control!
“Maru told him?” Junno shrugged, “And I think Koyama told Maru…”
Kazuya groaned and buried his head in his arms, wishing that the day could be over. He was suddenly aware of all the stares in the classroom, as well as the occasional ‘good for you Kamenashi!’ as someone passed him.
He was going to kill whoever started these rumours.
If he ever found them, that is…
And you, he thought mournfully to his quickly beating heart, Stop disobeying me!
It didn’t listen though, and Kazuya couldn’t concentrate for the entire afternoon, only thinking about the rumours, and the possibility that perhaps, just perhaps, they might be true.
Unfortunately, that didn’t make him as unhappy as he wanted to be.
Jin might like me, the sudden elated thought crossed his mind and he quickly tried to push it away, but it wouldn’t go away.
Jin might like me, Jin might like me, Jin might like me!
Damn you heart, Kazuya thought sourly, but despite that, he couldn’t help the silly smile crossing his lips.
* * *
------- part 5 ----------
pairing: akame, ryouchi (implied XD)
rating: pg-13
Summary: sequel to Concrete Angel. They always knew they were special to each other, that no matter what drove them apart, they'd always have each other in some way or another, but is there more connecting them than just lifelong friendship? What is the meaning behind these haunting dreams that tore them apart in the first place?
part 1-1 | part 1-2 | part 1-3 | part 1-4 | part 1-5 | part 1-6 |
--
part 2-1 | part 2-2 | part 2-3 |
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Jin tapped his foot on the floor as he sat on the chair in Ryo’s room; they weren’t doing anything in particular, but Yamapi had finally called to say he was coming over soon, with an added message of ‘don’t antagonize Jin too much Ryo!’ to the younger boy who had taken the call.
So, with a grumble, Ryo sighed at Jin, “What’s eating you?” he asked begrudgingly; usually, he left the talks about Jin’s problems up to Yamapi, simply because it was just too easy for him to either accidentally or purposely rile Jin up. Actually, Pi had even forbidden him to talk to Jin about his problems at one point. Ryo was sure Yamapi had forgotten by now though.
“Nothing,” Jin muttered absently.
Ryo made a scoffing noise, “Yeah. Sure. I totally believe that. It’s not as though you’ve been tapping your foot like that ever since you got here, which totally isn’t a sign that something’s bothering you.”
“It’s not!” Jin protested, but even as he said that, he knew Ryo didn’t believe him. Hell, he didn’t even believe himself. All day, he had been thinking about what he had done earlier that morning, and…every time he did, he got confused and flustered. What was he thinking? What was he doing?
“I was being sarcastic, and you know, you can either wait for Pi to get here and make you do the right thing or you can tell me and I can try my best not to laugh at you. I think you should choose the first option.”
Jin stared at Ryo suspiciously, “You just don’t want to deal with my problems!” he accused.
Ryo smirked, “That too. And you just admitted you have a problem,” he said, and Jin’s eyes widened at the realization. He looked in panic at Ryo, who had a smug expression on his face.
Jin glared at Ryo, “I hate you.” He muttered.
“Hate is just another form of love,” Ryo said flippantly, “Apparently. Or something wise that Pi would say that would make you stop being so irritating and tell him everything.”
Jin stared strangely at Ryo, “You’re really not good at this are you?”
Ryo raised an eyebrow, “Why do you think I let Pi do this normally?”
“If I remember right, last time I had to blackmail you to go away,” Pi’s voice interrupted them and the two turned around to see the younger boy making his way into Ryo’s room, looking strangely at the two of them, “What have I told you two about having heart to heart conversations? Ryo’s too snarky and Jin’s to easily riled up for that too work. Besides,” he stared at Ryo, “Didn’t I ban you from trying to help Jin with serious problems?”
Ryo shrugged, “It was worth a try. Besides, what are we going to do next year when you’re in school and Jin has some sort of identity crisis or something midday - drag you out of school?”
Jin glared, while Yamapi chuckled, “So, in other words, you’re worried and want to help too.”
“Am not! I do not!” It was Ryo’s turn to glare and Jin’s turn to smirk.
“Then, leave while I talk to Jin.” Yamapi suggested with a knowing smile.
Ryo glared at him, grumbling, “This is my room.” He pointed out and didn’t move.
Yamapi’s smile widened as he turned to Jin, “So what’s bothering you this time?” he asked knowingly. Jin always did have a feeling Yamapi should work as a counsellor or something; he definitely talked Jin through some of his more emotional problems enough times. He supposed it was what came with the job of best friend, but Yamapi was extremely good at it.
“Nothing’s bothering me,” Jin muttered as sat with his legs bent and hugged his knees, “It’s nothing.” He repeated.
Yamapi raised an eyebrow and sighed, “Jin, I think I know you a bit better than that than to believe that,” he said as he sat across from Jin in the exact same position, “What’s up?” he asked.
Jin’s lips twitched a little at the way his best friend was copying the way he was sitting, “Are you trying to ‘relate’ to me again?”
“It seems to help me see things from your perspective, even if it’s just sitting position.” Yamapi said with a grin, “Now, what’s up? Does this have to do with Kamenashi?”
“No!” Jin said right away - and too quickly.
Ryo’s smirk didn’t escape his notice.
“And shut it Ryo!” he snapped irritably, “I can see that smirk!”
“Well, it’s not my fault you’re so obvious.” Ryo said defensively.
“I’m not obvious about anything!” Jin argued, “And you just want to see me humiliate myself or something! You’re so mean!”
“At least I don’t get tongue-tied in front of the person I like, like you did today!” Ryo shot back.
“I don’t like him! I’m just letting all your teasing get to me! It’s all your fault that -” Jin stopped himself, turning red.
Ryo looked curiously on as Yamapi shook his head with a sigh.
“All my fault that what?” Ryo asked.
“Ryo.” Yamapi said warningly.
“What? I want to know what he’s blaming me for this time since he never seems to face anything on his own,” Ryo said scathingly.
“I don’t always blame you!”
“But you always run away!” Ryo retorted, “The past year with Kamenashi proved that didn’t it? Avoiding him - did you think nobody noticed?”
“I -” Jin bristled angrily, “Fine. You want to know what I’m blaming you for? I’m blaming you for the fact that this morning, I kissed him while he was asleep! There, you happy now?!” he growled out. Then, he realized what he had just blurted out and paled, staring at Ryo in shock and horror at what he had just revealed.
Ryo and Pi were silent for a long moment.
“Jin…”
“My inner, practically non-existent, emotional self is jumping up and down, going ‘finally’ and ‘yay’.” Ryo said blandly, “Are you serious? You’re blaming me for that?”
“It is! It’s all your fault! It’s all your teasing and -”
“Okay, Ryo, you’re on time-out for now,” Pi interrupted before Ryo could retort and make the tension in the room any worse, “Go call Uchi and talk about your day or whatever you normally do with him.”
“He’s next door!”
“Then go bug him. I promise there will be no mutilation of any of your Leah Dizon posters,” Yamapi said solemnly, “Nor will I go through your room, look for embarrassingly cute childhood pictures and post them on the school website.”
Ryo glared at Yamapi suspiciously, “I don’t trust you.”
“Then sit on your bed and don’t say anything.”
“Fine,” Ryo said petulantly.
“Jin,” Yamapi turned to the oldest one, “You kissed Kamenashi?”
Jin looked down at his hands, before answering with a red face and a tiny voice, “Maybe.”
“Jin…”
“Fine, I did! I did it this morning at his place when he was asleep and unaware! I molested his lips while he was sleeping! Is that what you want to hear?!”
Yamapi scowled at Jin, “I’m trying to help you, so don’t snap at me.”
Jin looked away with a similar scowl.
“Why did you kiss him then?” Yamapi pressed gently, “You don’t just randomly kiss people out of the blue. Why did you kiss him?”
“I…I don’t know! It’s because Ryo’s been teasing me this whole time about him!” Jin protested, earning a fierce glare from Ryo.
“That won’t make you have sudden urges to kiss someone you know,” Yamapi pointed out, “Jin, you’re attracted to Kamenashi, aren’t you?”
“What?!” Jin turned red, eyes wide and panicked, “N - no, I’m…”
“He’s your childhood friend, but you act different with him than with anyone else. When you’re with him, it’s almost like you’re off in your own world, and you stare at him a lot when you think no one noticed, even last year when you were trying to discourage him from talking to you.”
Jin opened his mouth to protest, but he could only manage a meek, “No…I don’t…” that didn’t sound very convincing to anybody in the room, especially not to himself.
“I’m going to let you think about it.” Yamapi said with a raised eyebrow, “I know you and he are childhood friends but this is not just friendship apparently. I think we all saw it, all of us except you. You don’t randomly get urges to kiss me or Ryo do you? This is different, Jin. Think about it. Think about what you do toward Kamenashi; think about what happened during that kiss…think about it all, and don’t go blaming any of us for teasing you and pushing you into it, because if anything, you’d be more determined to not do it if we teased you about something.”
Jin was silent, staring at Pi with wide eyes.
“He and I…we’re just…” he tried to explain, only to stop when he remembered that jolt of feeling he had gotten when he had brushed his lips against Kazuya’s earlier that morning, the surge of emotion in his heart whenever Kazuya smiled at him; the pang in his heart when Kazuya looked sad or upset - the total fear he had been in when he had found Kazuya injured in that locker room.
When you’re hurt, I’m scared more than anything I’ve ever felt before; when you’re sad, I feel my heart breaking; when you’re happy, no matter what mood I’m in, I become happy too…
Jin knew what those signs pointed to; he knew what the quickening pulse whenever he saw Kazuya’s smile directed at him meant, the emotions that he had been trying to pass off as just because Kazuya was a special friend to him, not anything more. But it wasn’t, wasn’t it? Jin felt his heart skip a beat as he thought of Kazuya, of liking Kazuya, and no matter how much he pleaded inside, his heart refused to deny that perhaps, just maybe, Pi was right, and he liked Kazuya.
He liked Kazuya.
“Why do you have to make so much sense?” Jin mumbled asked he hugged his knees to his chest again, “I hate you. What am I supposed to do now?”
How was he supposed to face Kazuya now? This changed everything; he knew it would, which was why he was so adamant that it wasn’t true; this would change everything about their relationship. How was he supposed to go home and face Kazuya like normal?
* * *
By the time Tatsuya dropped Kazuya off at Jin’s place, it was past dinnertime and Kazuya was feeling a bit better. Tatsuya’s attempts to distract him had definitely worked. However, when he walked back into the house, he found that, to his surprise, Jin was sitting at the kitchen table and eating a late dinner.
“Jin,” he said in surprise, before he flushed a little, Tatsuya’s words from earlier coming back to him. He blinked as Jin suddenly took on an embarrassed look, before mumbling a ‘hey’ and going back to his meal.
Kazuya was confused, but at the same time, slightly grateful. The moment he had seen Jin, his heart had decided to beat quicker and…
There was that feeling in the pit of his stomach; a nervous feeling he normally associated with things that scared him, but…he wasn’t scared of Jin, so…
But you have feelings for him, a voice that sounded suspiciously like Tatsuya said suddenly in his head.
He shook his head, trying to shake that thought away; just because Tatsuya had thought so, didn’t mean it was true. Just because he had spent more effort than normal to try to speak to Jin last year, didn’t mean he had a crush; Jin was…he had just wanted to reconnect with Jin again, because deep down, he knew Jin was special to him…as a friend…right?
He hated how, even in his own head, the argument sounded unconvincing.
“Are you okay?”
Kazuya blinked when he saw Jin standing in front of him and looking at him in concern.
“You’ve been standing there, shaking your head for the past two minutes or so,” Jin said, clearly concerned as he put the back of his hand on Kazuya’s forehead, “You’re not getting sick are you?”
Kazuya could only look up and shake his head again, unable to say anything. Jin’s eyes, staring directly into his, suddenly left him speechless and his heart skipped a beat, especially as his internal arguments that he didn’t like Jin that way faded away once under Jin’s gaze. He was aware of his cheeks heating up a little, as Jin suddenly froze and looked directly into his eyes.
After a moment of standing there like that, Kazuya suddenly jumped when a thumb made its way to the corner of his lips. The movement jolted Jin out of staring at Kazuya and he let out a yelp of, “Sorry!” before looking away and hurrying back to the kitchen table.
Kazuya stared in confusion at Jin, putting his fingers to where Jin’s thumb had brushed against the corner of his lips, “Jin?”
“Sorry,” Jin mumbled as he stuffed a bite of food into his mouth, and he looked down, “I didn’t mean anything -”
“No, it’s okay…” Kazuya said slowly; his heart was racing so fast, too fast, and he groaned inwardly when he realized he could no longer deny Tatsuya’s words.
“I’m…I’ll be upstairs,” Kazuya said quickly to Jin’s back, before bolting out of the room, a hand over his beating heart. Once inside his room, with the door closed tightly, he threw himself onto the bed and looked at the ceiling.
I hate it when Tat-chan’s right…
“What am I going to do?” Kazuya moaned into his pillow; he was living in the same house as Jin! He would see Jin every day! This wasn’t like last year where he could get discouraged every time Jin ignored him; Jin never ignored him like that anymore, so what was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to stop these feelings?
And…
Did he really want to?
“I can’t like him,” he said, hoping that if he said it enough times, it would be true, “I don’t like him. I can’t…”
And yet, the more he tried to deny it, the truer the words seemed.
* * *
When Jin arrived at school the next day, he made a beeline for Toma’s locker, mostly because he knew that Pi would most likely be there with Toma before class. And he also knew Ryo would be off somewhere with Uchi, so the chances of Ryo being there were practically non-existent.
“You…” Yamapi blinked as he and Toma stared dumbfounded at Jin, “Holy shit. You look like hell.”
And he did; there were dark circles under Jin’s eyes, he looked pale and his eyes were bloodshot. His hair was also messed up, as though he had spent the whole night tossing and turning in bed and hadn’t bothered to do anything about its messy state and had just thrown his school uniform on and then left the house.
Of course, that had been what had happened, so Jin glared, before he sighed and rubbed his eyes, “I couldn’t sleep…” he whined.
“Um….why?” Pi asked hesitantly.
“Because of what you said!” Jin retorted, “About…you know…” he lowered his voice.
Yamapi blinked, “What? OH, because you like -”
Jin hissed as he clamped a hand over Yamapi’s mouth, “Shh!” he grumbled, looking around furtively, “Alright, you’re right; I like that person okay?! Don’t have to announce it to the school you know,” he hissed.
Yamapi glared and Jin let out a shriek that made heads turn toward him as he jumped away from his best friend.
Toma grinned, “I can guess what happened.” He laughed at Jin’s expense.
“You licked me!” Jin shrieked, blowing on his hand, “Now I have to wash my hand before class, and ewww, Pi!”
“That’s what you get,” Yamapi stuck his tongue out, making Jin jump away from said tongue.
“Keep your tongue away from me!” Jin glared.
“So, about your sleeping problems…”
“They’re all your fault! How am I supposed to sleep when I know that…” Jin faltered, unable to finish.
“That Kamenashi is in the room across from you and he doesn’t know that you secretly molested his lips while he had been sleeping?”
Jin glowered, while Toma laughed.
“Seriously Jin?” Toma asked incredulously, “I thought you were braver than that.”
“I am brave!” Jin glared at his friend, “I just…I don’t know what to do about this,” he muttered, kicking at the floor.
Toma laughed, “If you were brave, you’d try to ask him out instead of brooding about it.” He retorted, raising an eyebrow.
“I am brave!” Jin glowered, “What do you know? You’re - you’re…you know what, I will ask him out and then when he laughs in my face and rejects me, I’m going to go to your place and eat all your chocolate!” he retorted, storming off.
As he left, Toma let a grin cross his face, “I don’t see why you thought it would be so hard.” He commented to Yamapi.
“Yeah, well, he doesn’t suspect tricks like that from you,” Yamapi retorted, “If it had been Ryo, he’d have caught on and wouldn’t be declaring his intentions to ask Kamenashi out.”
Toma grinned, “Glad I could help then.”
“Yeah, without sneaky tricks like that, it would have taken at least a few weeks more of Jin’s brooding and Ryo and Jin bickering before Jin would actually ask Kamenashi out.”
“It can’t be that bad…”
“It took him until now to realize he liked Kamenashi didn’t he?”
“…point taken.”
* * *
It was lunchtime and Kazuya was at his locker, looking for something, when Jin suddenly showed up, seemingly out of nowhere. The older boy looked out of breath and had a determined glint in his eyes.
“Jin?” he blinked in surprise at the sudden appearance.
“Kazuya!” Jin said loudly and determinedly.
“Um…yes?” Kazuya asked, looking at Jin strangely, “What’s up?”
Jin opened his mouth, and was about to say something, but then he faltered, stopping himself. Kazuya tilted his head, looking at Jin in concern, “Jin?”
“Um…” Jin managed.
“Um?”
“I…um…okay, I…” Jin took a deep breath, determined to get it out. Before he could though, a sudden surge of nervous panic overtook him, as he looked at Kazuya who was looking in confusion at him.
“Jin, are you sure you’re okay?” Kazuya asked, staring at Jin strangely; Jin kept staring at him, and although at first it had caused his heart - damn it! - to suddenly beat very quickly, he was now getting kind of worried.
“I…uh…” Jin felt all his resolve melt away. What if he was right and Kazuya only rejected him, or worse, laughed at him? He didn’t think he would be able to take it…
“I…want to walk home with you today!” Jin finally blurted out, before he realized what he said and cursed in his mind. Damn it; he hadn’t been able to do it after all! He opened his mouth, ready to correct himself, when Kazuya nodded, but was still looking at Jin strangely.
“We walk home together every day?” Kazuya pointed out hesitantly, “You won’t let me walk home alone.”
Jin blinked and then chuckled sheepishly, purposely ignoring the heat going to his ears in embarrassment, “Um…well you went with Ueda yesterday!” he said finally, “And…I’ll see you after school!” he said suddenly before taking off at a run back to where he had left his friends.
“So, how’d it go?” Pi asked, a twinkle in his eyes. Toma looked up curiously.
“I failed,” Jin moaned in misery, “Pi, I am a coward! I couldn’t say it!”
Yamapi sighed and patted Jin on the back.
“It’s okay; I’m sure you tried?” He offered optimistically.
“Pi, how am I supposed to say anything to him?!”
Toma tried his hardest to hide the laugh that wanted to escape; instead, he shook his head and patted Jin on the head, “Guess you’ll have to learn how to be a man,” he joked.
Jin’s eyes snapped to Toma, “I am a man!”
“Prove it.” Toma retorted.
“I - damn it, I will,” Jin retorted, switching from misery to anger in a manner of seconds, “I’m going to ask him out today when we’re walking home from school!”
“Good luck with that!”
“I’ll do it, I really will!”
“I’ll believe it when I see it.” Toma said calmly.
Jin gave a glare before storming off.
“I think I’d go insane without you.” Pi said with a laugh as he watched Jin leave.
“This will take a while, won’t it?”
“Not if we speed things up,” Pi said with a glint in his eyes.
Toma took on a delighted look, “Ooh, what Ryo-like thing are we planning now?” he asked excitedly.
“Well…”
* * *
“Hey Kame-chan,” Koki said as he sat down next to Kazuya in the cafeteria, “I heard something interesting.”
Kazuya looked up curiously, raising his eyes to tell Koki to continue.
“Apparently, Akanishi is going to ask you out today.”
There was a loud sound as Kazuya choked on the juice he had been drinking. He dropped the juice box as he bent over, coughing violently from swallowing the juice the wrong way.
“What?!” he managed to rasp out.
“Well, I heard it from Minoru in my class, who heard it from Keita in your class, who heard it from Sato Takeru in first year, who heard it from Tamaki Hiroshi, the teacher-in-training in Akanishi’s class, that apparently Akanishi has the hots for you and is going to ask you out.”
Kazuya, who was still recovering from choking on his juice earlier, choked again, “What?”
Koki raised an eyebrow at him, “Is there something you should tell me?”
“No!” Kazuya insisted, turning red, “It’s nothing! I don’t know anything about it! It’s just a rumour anyways!”
Koki raised an eyebrow but hummed disbelievingly, “If you say so…”
“I do say so!” Kazuya retorted, trying to find something else to talk about - quickly. Luckily for him, the bell rang and he shot out of his chair, “Well, got to get to class, learning is important and all that, bye Koki!” he said quickly as he ran off. Outside the cafeteria, he took a deep breath.
It couldn’t be true right? There was no way Jin liked him back.
He froze.
Liked him back? No, no, he meant liked him! Because liking back meant Kazuya liked Jin and…
Kazuya entered his classroom mentally debating with himself in his head.
“Kame-chan,” Junno slid into his seat and blinked at Kazuya, “I just heard the strangest thing…”
Kazuya glanced up quickly, “What?” he asked, not quite sure he wanted to know.
“Is it true that Akanishi kissed you? Or maybe it was he wants to kiss you…” Junno muttered.
“Where did you hear that?!” Kazuya asked quickly, trying his hardest to suppress the fluttery feeling in his heart at the thought that maybe Jin actually felt the same -
No, not the same. Felt something. Because Kazuya didn’t…
“I heard it from Koyama in class C, who heard it from Tegoshi in first year…and um…I think he heard it from Aragaki.” Junno said with a beaming smile, “Congratulations, Kame-chan! After last year…”
“It’s not like that!” Kazuya tried to explain quickly, “It’s just a rumour and I don’t like him that way and…”
“Kame-chan, be happy!” Junno said with a grin, “We all saw how you pined after Akanishi last year; it’s a good thing, and oh, Tat-chan says that if Akanishi’s hands don’t stay at his sides the entire time and away from your skin, Akanishi is going to have broken arms for the rest of the year.”
“How does Tat-chan know?!” Kazuya half-whined, half-sobbed. These rumours were getting so out of control!
“Maru told him?” Junno shrugged, “And I think Koyama told Maru…”
Kazuya groaned and buried his head in his arms, wishing that the day could be over. He was suddenly aware of all the stares in the classroom, as well as the occasional ‘good for you Kamenashi!’ as someone passed him.
He was going to kill whoever started these rumours.
If he ever found them, that is…
And you, he thought mournfully to his quickly beating heart, Stop disobeying me!
It didn’t listen though, and Kazuya couldn’t concentrate for the entire afternoon, only thinking about the rumours, and the possibility that perhaps, just perhaps, they might be true.
Unfortunately, that didn’t make him as unhappy as he wanted to be.
Jin might like me, the sudden elated thought crossed his mind and he quickly tried to push it away, but it wouldn’t go away.
Jin might like me, Jin might like me, Jin might like me!
Damn you heart, Kazuya thought sourly, but despite that, he couldn’t help the silly smile crossing his lips.
* * *
------- part 5 ----------