[fic] From Broken Wings {2/2} - part 6
[fic] From Broken Wings {2/2} - part 6
pairing: akame, ryouchi (implied XD)
rating: pg-13
Summary: sequel to Concrete Angel. They always knew they were special to each other, that no matter what drove them apart, they'd always have each other in some way or another, but is there more connecting them than just lifelong friendship? What is the meaning behind these haunting dreams that tore them apart in the first place?
part 1-1 | part 1-2 | part 1-3 | part 1-4 | part 1-5 | part 1-6 |
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part 2-1 | part 2-2 | part 2-3 | part 2-4 | part 2-5 |
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The man was waiting for Kazuya when Tatsuya pulled up into the driveway; the door opened as soon as the two of them got out of the car. The man was probably in his late thirties, which made him in his late twenties, early thirties, when he had known Kazuya’s father. Kazuya frowned; if his father trusted the credibility of the man at that young a age, then it must meant that he had already gotten a good reputation at his job.
“Kamenashi Kazuya, right?” the man asked with a raised eyebrow, “You can call me Hajime. And is this the friend your father -”
“No, he…he couldn’t make it,” Kazuya interrupted, looking hesitantly at Tatsuya, “Do you want to…?”
“I promised I wouldn’t ask questions,” Tatsuya said, “I’m keeping that promise. You won’t have to worry about me.”
Kazuya looked hesitant, but nodded, “This is my friend, Ueda Tatsuya. He’s…”
“He’s the one who helped you contact me,” Hajime said with a knowing look, “I doubt your father would have given you my name. He didn’t believe that report I gave him, no matter how sure I was it was true.” He sounded disgruntled that he had been doubted.
“My father…wasn’t the one it affected,” Kazuya said firmly, “I want to hear what you have to say.” He said firmly.
Hajime looked at him with a surveying look before nodding, “Then I suggest you come in.” he said, heading back toward the door of his home.
There was no small talk, or polite conversation; the man simply looked at them, before sighing, “Well, what do you know?” he asked.
“I know what was in that file you sent my father,” Kazuya started hesitantly, “I know that you thought there was a connection between those two children. And that it was connected to me and my friend…Jin.”
Hajime laughed lightly, “And hearing that your names are exactly those ones does nothing to convince me that there was nothing to it. Your father was in denial, thinking that there no possible way his child could be connected to a child years ago that died of abuse. Those dreams should have been the one thing that told him that that was exactly what it was, impossible or not.”
“I believe that,” Kazuya said, “But…those dreams are still going on. And…I want to know the truth, about what happened to those two children. I want to know what you know…there’s this feeling…that when I face the truth, those dreams will finally leave me alone.”
Hajime stared at him, and then laughed a little, but not in a mocking way - in an amused way, “Well, the truth does set you free after all.”
He paused, looking out the window for a moment, “I got everything I could from the guy who was chief of police at the time. No matter what I asked though, he wouldn’t reveal more than their first names - protecting the children, or so he called it. But it was more than that, I think. Those two children…they’re buried without their family names. Reasonable choice, I suppose. After all, it was their families that led to their deaths in the first place - I suppose the community just wanted to give them separation from their abusive families after death, something they didn’t get in life.” He let out a sigh.
“That’s…that’s great,” Kazuya couldn’t help but saying; and it was. From what he had seen, those children’s families had been horrible.
“When your father gave me this case to work on and they came up, they became a fascination for me. How was it just so coincidental that both children were named Kazuya and Jin, and both of them died from abuse and then showed evidence of knowing each other? There was something else going on, in my mind - it took me weeks to be confident of that decision. You know in our times, where logic is the most common; this wasn’t logical. Jin had already died when he met the abused Kazuya. And yet…there was that evidence, that drawing…” He shook his head, “About those two children. There isn’t much record on them…but Jin was born to a father and mother, both of whom held a hand in his death. His mother was some socialite wannabe, always going out and spending money and just not the type of person who would make a good mother. Too cold-hearted and concentrated on material things. So, when the father lost his high-paying job, she, being the selfish woman that she was, kept going on with her lifestyle, slowly depleting their savings. The father became frustrated - both with his now, low-paying, low-appreciation job, and the fact that he couldn’t keep his wife happy anymore. A brutal blow, I’m sure; enough to target the one thing in the life he could control. The life of that child.”
Kazuya knew it would be hard, listening to all the details and knowing that once upon a time, it had been Jin going through that, but…he never knew it would be this hard. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes, urging the investigator to continue.
“From the reports of the autopsy, Jin had suffered malnutrition, which was understandable, considering the mother was always out and the father cared more about hurting him. Jin would go to school with beatings, and sometimes, wounds caused by beer bottles. Eventually, it escalated, until he was strangling the young child, sometimes holding him underwater even, and stopping just before the air ran out. One day, it went too far and Jin died.”
Kazuya clenched his fists. So that was what Jin saw in his dreams. That was the horror that Jin saw nightly.
“Kazuya, on the other hand…”
Kazuya opened his eyes, but looking past the man at the wall. He knew this, he knew this child’s story.
“He was born into a loving family, actually. But then, his parents were killed in a car crash, and he was left with his mother’s brother - and according to social services, if it wasn’t that the man had gotten off on all past charges against him, they wouldn’t have left him in the first place. He was probably unwanted from the first moment he arrived. While a lot of people could speak about Jin, less is known about Kazuya’s life. Nobody really knew for sure that he was being abused, until he died that is. His teachers oftentimes caught bruises, but the uncle was able to lie his way out of it. He excused Kazuya as being sickly and that gave him the excuse to hide Kazuya at home whenever the injuries were too obvious. Because of that, no one really suspected much. Somehow, somewhere, Kazuya met Jin after Jin’s death - that much I know is true, no matter how unlikey it was.”
Kazuya hesitated before asking, “I’m not doubting it, but…why do you think it’s true?”
“Because of this. I got it from Kazuya’s teacher not long after I sent that report to your father.”
Kazuya took the old, wrinkled and yellowed piece of paper hesitantly.
It was written in a child’s hand, the same handwriting he had seen once before on that drawing from the file. It was a school essay of some sort. He blinked at the topic; somehow…somehow, this seemed familiar.
Love.
I don’t know anything about love. But Jin says that love is feeling happy no matter what happens, with people who make you feel that way. If that’s true, then for this report, I guess the thing I love most is Jin. Jin says he’s by my side so that he can be my friend. I’ve always wanted a friend, and Jin is the best-est friend in the entire world! He’s always there when I’m sad, and he stays in the house next to me - he doesn’t really live there though, but he says he doesn’t need to sleep anymore. He says that not too long ago, people were hurting him, and because a really bad thing happened, he went to sleep and when he woke up so that he could be my friend, he doesn’t need to sleep anymore. I love Jin the most in the world! He’s my only friend, and I wish I could be together forever with him. He makes everything okay, even when I’m sad, even when Uncle is angry and even when I’m scared. He’s someone that Uncle can never take away from me, because Jin can’t get hurt anymore. Jin says he will never leave me and I believe him! It’s because I love Jin!
Kazuya couldn’t help his hands shaking; this…
This made the connection real. The Kazuya from years ago…he was talking about a dead child, a ghost - a ghost that only stayed so that he could help the abused child.
“Yeah, that’s what I looked like when I first read that too…”
Kazuya’s head was ducked, as he tried not to burst into tears. It was just too…
He could remember…one of the dreams had been of a conversation with the other Jin about this very topic. He remembered this.
“So…I guess it really is true…” Kazuya said shakily, “I’m…Jin is…”
“You can draw any conclusions you want. I know what I believe,” the older man said, “And at this point, the impossible makes the most sense.”
Kazuya could barely think straight; it was true then. The dreams…he knew from the dreams that he had once been that child, but…this just cemented that conclusion.
“And just some food for thought, Kamenashi, before you leave - and you can keep that by the way.” The man added, “It technically belongs to you anyways. Kazuya never got it back years ago before he died…on February 23rd…” he added, smiling wryly at Kazuya’s horrified and shocked look, “And Jin died months before Kazuya did, on July 4th. Too many coincidences to be just a coincidence, no?”
Kazuya had no answer to that, and staring at the report written in childish handwriting, he had to be led out of the house by Tatsuya. He barely even noticed the investigator handing him a piece of paper with writing scribbles on it, but once he did, he bit his lip as he thought about what awaited him when he got back to Jin’s place.
I don’t regret finding out, I don’t regret any of it. The truth behind these nightmares…I know it now. And I know, somehow, I know that there’s only one thing left to do…
* * *
The kitchen was dimly lit when he got back to the Akanishi place - it seemed everyone else had gone out to dinner. Or at least, most everyone else. Kazuya stared determinedly back at Jin, who was looking at Kazuya with an angry expression.
“I got your note,” Jin said with an accusing tone in his voice.
“I did ask Reio to give it to you,” Kazuya answered calmly.
Jin stood up abruptly from the chair, causing its legs to scrape in a loud screeching sound across the tiled floor, “Kazuya!”
Kazuya was silent, staring back unwaveringly, “I did what I had to do.” He answered defiantly.
“You went behind my back!” Jin said angrily, waving the piece of paper around, “You promised - you promised that you wouldn’t bring that stuff up anymore, and you go behind my back to go on some quest for the truth that no one wants!”
Kazuya straightened, staring angrily at Jin, “No one wants?! Behind your back?! I never went behind your back! I never broke that promise! I promised I wouldn’t involve you and I didn’t! You didn’t come to listen to the story behind those two children today! You didn’t get involved when I was trying to find that guy who made that report to my father! And no one wants the truth? You mean, you don’t want it!” he shouted back, “You don’t want to find out the truth, but I do, and I did! Don’t pretend that you were doing it for my own good, Jin! You just didn’t want it yourself!”
Jin looked like he had been hit.
“I…” he then bristled in anger, “No, you just used underhanded ways to get what you wanted! You knew what I meant that day - you knew I wanted both of us to leave it alone!”
“Well, unfortunately, I’m not you, Jin. I had to find out the truth, and not run away.”
“I’m not running away!” Jin protested angrily.
“Yes you are!” Kazuya retorted, “I understood that you were scared, understood that you didn’t want to find out, but don’t act like that just because I wanted to find out, I’ve betrayed you.” He stared hard at Jin, “Sometimes, I wonder if you only care about me when it’s convenient for you.”
Jin’s shocked expression only made him say all those things in his mind aloud.
“Did you think about why I was so determined to find out the truth? I needed to know the truth, or it would’ve never left me alone; I would have gone crazy with how much I thought about it. Did you even notice that? I even told you…that night. Did you think that I would have even burdened you with it if I could shove it all away and pretend it didn’t exist? And…and you know what, Jin…no matter how much you try to make me feel better, with nice words and promises…don’t you think, that just once, you should just let me have what I want instead of making me feel bad about it?” he asked, voice breaking.
At this point, he knew he wasn’t talking just about the nightmares anymore, but more of what had happened between them weeks ago.
Jin stared at him, “I…Kazuya…”
“I shouldn’t have to feel bad because I wanted to find out the truth, Jin. I shouldn’t have to feel like I’m burdening you with my feelings. I…I should be able to think of things like love and like without my heart breaking. I…I almost wish I was still that little boy!” Kazuya said, voice going quiet, “Maybe…maybe then…” he broke off, pulling something out of his pocket and thrusting it at Jin, “Here. Why can’t I be like that Jin? Why can’t I look at love in that way anymore?”
He could feel his hurt from the past few weeks breaking through that wall around his emotions and he took a deep breath, “Tomorrow, I’m taking a day off school. I’m going to see their graves and pay my respects.” And with that, he left the room, leaving Jin to stare at the same paper that had both touched his heart and made him bitter about his own feelings. It was a paper written with innocent feelings about love - the same fluttery, untainted, love that Kazuya wished he could say he still had.
“Kazuya…” Jin said slowly, even as he read the paper written in childish handwriting, “Kazuya…”
He sank back into the chair, all anger dissolved, as he stared from the paper in his hand to the stairs that Kazuya had gone up.
Why were things this complicated?
Why hadn’t he noticed how much Kazuya was still hurting?
Why...
But the thing that hurt him the most was the accusing look in Kazuya’s eyes, and the hurt in the younger boy’s voice as he silently asked…
Why did I have to tell you where I was after I left? Why couldn’t I have trusted you to be there while I faced my demons? Why weren’t you helping me fight our demons?
Why couldn’t he have been there for Kazuya today?
* * *
The next day, Kazuya went downstairs to find that Jin was there. And not at school. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, “What’re you doing here?” he asked with a frown.
Jin merely stared at him.
“Look, Tat-chan will be here soon. He’s driving me. I told you yesterday already -”
“He’s not coming. I told Reio to call him.” Jin interrupted.
Kazuya blinked and then looked outraged, “What?!”
“He’s not coming.” Jin repeated.
“I’m not letting that stop me from going, Jin, if that’s what you had planned! I’m getting there one way or another, whether you like it or not!” Kazuya seethed, looking at Jin with accusing eyes.
Jin let out a mirthless laugh, “And you just assume that that’s what I’m doing? Stopping you?”
“Well, it’s not like you’ve done anything else when it comes to this,” Kazuya retorted bitterly and Jin flinched.
“I’ve decided to go with you,” Jin finally said, voice hard as he matched Kazuya’s defiant look. He watched as that look changed into one of shock and he smiled wryly, “Don’t look so surprised. You could have a little more faith in me you know.” He added.
Kazuya merely shrugged, “Was anything I said last night wrong?” he asked; it wasn’t harsh, and wasn’t meant to hurt, but the calm way he said it made Jin wince.
“I do care, you know.” Jin said with a breaking voice, “More than you know.”
“I’ll have to take your word for it,” Kazuya said, forcing his voice to be calm, as he began to leave the room, “I’m going to get my stuff.” He muttered.
“Kazuya -” Jin cut himself off as he took hold of Kazuya’s wrist before the younger boy could leave. For a moment, their eyes met - both of them showed a different type of pain in their eyes, but pain nonetheless - and Jin slowly and reluctantly let go.
Kazuya merely smiled a wry smile in response to that.
* * *
Jin watched as Kazuya sat on his heels in front of the grave to put one of the bouquet of flowers on it. It looked as though no one had visited this grave in years, and he was probably right. Who remembered these two abused children who had only evil people as family? He watched as Kazuya tried his best to hide the sad look on his face as he looked at the writing on the grave. His heart broke for the younger man.
He stepped forward, putting a hand on Kazuya’s shoulder to offer comfort, before, lowering his own bouquet of flowers onto the boy’s grave. Next to it, by some miraculous chance, was the grave of the other boy. It had probably been because both of them had died in the same community from the same causes, so the community that had paid for their funerals had made sure to bury them next to each other. It was still eerie how even their graves were together though.
He felt a tug of sadness at his heart as he remembered the dreams as he looked at the two graves.
May you find the happiness that you couldn’t in life, he read the old, barely legible writing, closing his eyes and biting his lip to keep himself from crying. He had seen what had happened first hand; he knew how much these two children had suffered at the hands of someone that should have been protecting them.
“May you find the love that you never got in life…” Kazuya read in soft tones, voice cracking a little, “It’s…”
Jin watched in panic as Kazuya buried his face into his hands, shoulders shaking, “He…I…He tried so hard. To live, it’s not fair…” he mumbled, “It’s not fair at all. Why…”
Jin could only stand there and watch, knowing that there was nothing he could say to make the pain lessen. The remorse, the injustice of it all, the complete sadness that came with those memories, and seeing these graves for real, knowing that it had really happened…it was indescribable. The grief was indescribable.
Tears streamed silently down his cheeks, as the grief hit home, as realization hit him like a ton of bricks. This had been real; this was what he had been running away from. This…
“Kazuya…” he sat on his heels next to Kazuya and wrapped his arms around the younger man, pulling him to him. The younger boy didn’t even protest as he buried his face into Jin’s face, letting Jin comfort him, gripping Jin’s shirt tightly in his hands, “It’s not fair, Jin…” he said thickly.
“I know…I know it’s not,” Jin said quietly, “But…” he didn’t know what he could say, “but they won, in the end, they can’t be hurt by those people anymore. They’re not suffering. We’re not suffering.” He added softly, noticing how Kazuya merely held him tighter, as if Jin’s mere presence reassured him of that, “We’ll never forget this…never forget what happened, but…we’re happy…right?”
He could feel Kazuya nod briefly, and his arms tightened around the younger man, “Then I’m sure that side of us…can rest in peace.”
“All they wanted was to be happy,” Kazuya said softly, “And to never forget each other.”
“And they - we - are…and we won’t…” Jin said just as softly, still holding Kazuya tightly to him; it was only Kazuya that was helping him get through this without breaking down, “We will be happy.” He said, and for a moment, he felt a light feeling in his chest, as though some part of him was agreeing with those words. The moment was fleeing though and was gone after a moment, but Jin had felt it, and he had a feeling Kazuya had too.
“Another promise Jin?” Kazuya asked with a shake of his head.
“Not just ‘another’ promise,” Jin corrected as he curled his fingers into Kazuya’s shoulder, “I mean it. I swear to you. I swear to you that I will make you happy, no matter what you think about my promises lately.”
Kazuya didn’t say anything, but Jin knew he wouldn’t; Kazuya had taken to falling silent whenever Jin made one of those promises lately, as though he wanted to believe in them, but didn’t dare to. If he didn’t say it aloud, he wouldn’t be setting himself up to fall…
“I do promise, Kazuya. I really do.”
* * *
He was sitting on a tree branch, looking down at the grave below. A hand on his made him look up and he smiled at the smaller boy.
“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” he asked suddenly.
The younger boy merely swung his legs as he smiled down at the grave, “It’s been years. I think it’s time.” He waved down at the people below, but as always, no one saw him. No one ever saw them.
“But…”
“We can’t stay like this forever. I’d like to try growing up one day.” The younger boy said with a smile, “I think…life sounds pretty good now. I know I didn’t want to try it again so quickly before, but…isn’t it time?”
“We might be separated,” he pointed out.
“We knew it’d happen. You have to go first, that’s the way it works.” The boy shrugged, “I’ll watch over you, like you used to watch over me.”
He frowned, “But…”
“We’ll find each other again some day; I know we will. We found each other back then didn’t we?”
“But we might not remember…”
“We’ll still be the same people; we’ll just grow up. We’ll remember. Eventually. No matter how long it takes, we’ll remember.”
“I guess…”
“Just promise me…that even if, just a big if, we don’t meet each other again, you’ll remember me. That no matter what, you’ll remember me, and what we share.”
“I will,” he promised, “I won’t ever forget. I’ll remember you no matter what it takes.”
* * *
Kazuya tapped his foot impatiently as he glanced out at the school grounds, watching as rain fell on the early summer day. He had gotten wet coming over here because Jin had asked him to, and now, Jin was still not here. It figured Jin would be late when he was the one to ask him to come over here.
He smiled a tiny bit though; although neither of them said anything about it, the dreams had stopped. Kazuya still believed that he had been right in thinking that it was the fact that they had gone all the way to the end to find out the truth that had stopped the dreams, that they were merely a way for them to remember what had happened. Things between Kazuya and Jin were a bit more peaceful now without the mystery of those dreams hanging over them.
“Sorry, sorry!” Jin said, out of breath as he came to a stop next to Kazuya, hair wet. He looked sheepishly at the younger man, “Toma made us stay in the locker room to go over game plans since we couldn’t practice today.” He said mournfully, “I fell asleep and Ryo and Pi drew on my arm with markers.” He whined, holding up an arm that looked freshly scrubbed with just a hint of colored shapes still on the skin.
Kazuya raised an eyebrow, trying not to laugh, “Anyways, you asked me to meet you at school, so…what is it? My parents are coming back from visiting my brother tonight you know. I don’t think they’ll be too happy if I caught a cold because I was walking around in the rain.”
Weeks after their visit to their graves, Kazuya’s parents, now satisfied that Kazuya’s brother was going through physical therapy well enough and that they didn’t need to help out anymore, had come back. They occasionally went to visit from time to time though.
“I know…I mean, I know that they’re coming back,” Jin said, smiling, “How’s your brother?” he asked.
“Recovering,” Kazuya answered, blinking in confusion, “You called me here to talk about my brother?” he asked in confusion.
“No!” Jin said quickly, “Let’s walk?” he suggested, grabbing the umbrella from Kazuya’s hand.
Kazuya stared incredulously at Jin, “You forgot your umbrella and only called me here because you needed someone to walk you home didn’t you?” he accused with a twitch of his lips.
Jin blanched, “No!” he paused, “Although it would really be nice if you could walk me home.”
“Jin…”
“I actually did have something to say to you though!” Jin insisted.
Kazuya crossed his arms, “Fine, talk - Jin!” he yelped as Jin kept on walking…the umbrella with him. Jin turned, eyes widening, before quickly retracing his steps so that he could cover Kazuya with the umbrella again, “Sorry!” he said, but he laughed, “You should have kept walking.”
“I’m still getting wet…” Kazuya glared accusingly at his umbrella and at Jin who was holding it.
“Sorry,” Jin laughed and then he paused.
Holding the umbrella up over Kazuya’s head and letting himself get rained on a bit, he leaned in and suddenly pressed his lips firmly against Kazuya’s.
The reaction was instantaneous; Kazuya’s were wide and Jin clasped a hand on Kazuya’s shoulder to deepen the kiss a little bit more.
The younger man then snapped out of his shock and then pulled away, looking at Jin with a wary look, “What are you doing?” he asked incredulous, but Jin didn’t miss that hopeful undertone in his voice.
Jin drew closer again, “You’re getting wet…” he commented. Kazuya took a step back, waving off the comment and not caring that he really was getting rained on.
“Jin.”
“Well, I figure that it’s a universal way to say ‘I love you’, so I’m trying it out.” Jin said, before letting the umbrella go slack at his side as he took a step forward again, “Kazuya…”
The younger man was looking at him with a strange mix of wary hope in his eyes.
Jin was leaning in again, his lips mere centimeters from Kazuya’s, both of them ignoring the droplets of rain falling on them, “I’m done asking you to wait…” he said softly, and Kazuya could barely hear those words, his heart was beating so quickly and loudly in his chest.
Jin’s lips found their way onto his again, as a hand found his and entwined their fingers together, and Kazuya could only close his eyes as he let himself get lost in this moment - this moment that he had been hoping and believing in Jin’s promises for.
I love you.
And he returned the kiss, a fluttery feeling in his heart that made him think that all the waiting, all the promises, all the hurt in between, had definitely been worth it. This feeling…
I love you too.
------- END ------------
And that's the end of it all! Happy ending~~~ :) which is good, 'cause it'd be really sad if i started a fic about them being reborn and it became a super sad angsty ending XDD Hope you all enjoyed it and....um....oh right. Little trivia =P The 'inspector's name, i kinda cheated, 'cause I just took the name of the guy Kame played in Kindaichi, since he was a mystery-solving guy and yeahhhh....*was too lazy to make up a name*. And all of you can thank pinkeuphoria1 for keeping me on track for finishing this XDDD Without her...well, let's just say it wouldn't have been finished this quickly (or this coherently XD).
And...i have class really soon, so i'm just gonna quickly finish posting. Bye, guys~~~
Congratulations on finishing reading this monster of a fic =P
pairing: akame, ryouchi (implied XD)
rating: pg-13
Summary: sequel to Concrete Angel. They always knew they were special to each other, that no matter what drove them apart, they'd always have each other in some way or another, but is there more connecting them than just lifelong friendship? What is the meaning behind these haunting dreams that tore them apart in the first place?
part 1-1 | part 1-2 | part 1-3 | part 1-4 | part 1-5 | part 1-6 |
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part 2-1 | part 2-2 | part 2-3 | part 2-4 | part 2-5 |
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The man was waiting for Kazuya when Tatsuya pulled up into the driveway; the door opened as soon as the two of them got out of the car. The man was probably in his late thirties, which made him in his late twenties, early thirties, when he had known Kazuya’s father. Kazuya frowned; if his father trusted the credibility of the man at that young a age, then it must meant that he had already gotten a good reputation at his job.
“Kamenashi Kazuya, right?” the man asked with a raised eyebrow, “You can call me Hajime. And is this the friend your father -”
“No, he…he couldn’t make it,” Kazuya interrupted, looking hesitantly at Tatsuya, “Do you want to…?”
“I promised I wouldn’t ask questions,” Tatsuya said, “I’m keeping that promise. You won’t have to worry about me.”
Kazuya looked hesitant, but nodded, “This is my friend, Ueda Tatsuya. He’s…”
“He’s the one who helped you contact me,” Hajime said with a knowing look, “I doubt your father would have given you my name. He didn’t believe that report I gave him, no matter how sure I was it was true.” He sounded disgruntled that he had been doubted.
“My father…wasn’t the one it affected,” Kazuya said firmly, “I want to hear what you have to say.” He said firmly.
Hajime looked at him with a surveying look before nodding, “Then I suggest you come in.” he said, heading back toward the door of his home.
There was no small talk, or polite conversation; the man simply looked at them, before sighing, “Well, what do you know?” he asked.
“I know what was in that file you sent my father,” Kazuya started hesitantly, “I know that you thought there was a connection between those two children. And that it was connected to me and my friend…Jin.”
Hajime laughed lightly, “And hearing that your names are exactly those ones does nothing to convince me that there was nothing to it. Your father was in denial, thinking that there no possible way his child could be connected to a child years ago that died of abuse. Those dreams should have been the one thing that told him that that was exactly what it was, impossible or not.”
“I believe that,” Kazuya said, “But…those dreams are still going on. And…I want to know the truth, about what happened to those two children. I want to know what you know…there’s this feeling…that when I face the truth, those dreams will finally leave me alone.”
Hajime stared at him, and then laughed a little, but not in a mocking way - in an amused way, “Well, the truth does set you free after all.”
He paused, looking out the window for a moment, “I got everything I could from the guy who was chief of police at the time. No matter what I asked though, he wouldn’t reveal more than their first names - protecting the children, or so he called it. But it was more than that, I think. Those two children…they’re buried without their family names. Reasonable choice, I suppose. After all, it was their families that led to their deaths in the first place - I suppose the community just wanted to give them separation from their abusive families after death, something they didn’t get in life.” He let out a sigh.
“That’s…that’s great,” Kazuya couldn’t help but saying; and it was. From what he had seen, those children’s families had been horrible.
“When your father gave me this case to work on and they came up, they became a fascination for me. How was it just so coincidental that both children were named Kazuya and Jin, and both of them died from abuse and then showed evidence of knowing each other? There was something else going on, in my mind - it took me weeks to be confident of that decision. You know in our times, where logic is the most common; this wasn’t logical. Jin had already died when he met the abused Kazuya. And yet…there was that evidence, that drawing…” He shook his head, “About those two children. There isn’t much record on them…but Jin was born to a father and mother, both of whom held a hand in his death. His mother was some socialite wannabe, always going out and spending money and just not the type of person who would make a good mother. Too cold-hearted and concentrated on material things. So, when the father lost his high-paying job, she, being the selfish woman that she was, kept going on with her lifestyle, slowly depleting their savings. The father became frustrated - both with his now, low-paying, low-appreciation job, and the fact that he couldn’t keep his wife happy anymore. A brutal blow, I’m sure; enough to target the one thing in the life he could control. The life of that child.”
Kazuya knew it would be hard, listening to all the details and knowing that once upon a time, it had been Jin going through that, but…he never knew it would be this hard. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes, urging the investigator to continue.
“From the reports of the autopsy, Jin had suffered malnutrition, which was understandable, considering the mother was always out and the father cared more about hurting him. Jin would go to school with beatings, and sometimes, wounds caused by beer bottles. Eventually, it escalated, until he was strangling the young child, sometimes holding him underwater even, and stopping just before the air ran out. One day, it went too far and Jin died.”
Kazuya clenched his fists. So that was what Jin saw in his dreams. That was the horror that Jin saw nightly.
“Kazuya, on the other hand…”
Kazuya opened his eyes, but looking past the man at the wall. He knew this, he knew this child’s story.
“He was born into a loving family, actually. But then, his parents were killed in a car crash, and he was left with his mother’s brother - and according to social services, if it wasn’t that the man had gotten off on all past charges against him, they wouldn’t have left him in the first place. He was probably unwanted from the first moment he arrived. While a lot of people could speak about Jin, less is known about Kazuya’s life. Nobody really knew for sure that he was being abused, until he died that is. His teachers oftentimes caught bruises, but the uncle was able to lie his way out of it. He excused Kazuya as being sickly and that gave him the excuse to hide Kazuya at home whenever the injuries were too obvious. Because of that, no one really suspected much. Somehow, somewhere, Kazuya met Jin after Jin’s death - that much I know is true, no matter how unlikey it was.”
Kazuya hesitated before asking, “I’m not doubting it, but…why do you think it’s true?”
“Because of this. I got it from Kazuya’s teacher not long after I sent that report to your father.”
Kazuya took the old, wrinkled and yellowed piece of paper hesitantly.
It was written in a child’s hand, the same handwriting he had seen once before on that drawing from the file. It was a school essay of some sort. He blinked at the topic; somehow…somehow, this seemed familiar.
Love.
I don’t know anything about love. But Jin says that love is feeling happy no matter what happens, with people who make you feel that way. If that’s true, then for this report, I guess the thing I love most is Jin. Jin says he’s by my side so that he can be my friend. I’ve always wanted a friend, and Jin is the best-est friend in the entire world! He’s always there when I’m sad, and he stays in the house next to me - he doesn’t really live there though, but he says he doesn’t need to sleep anymore. He says that not too long ago, people were hurting him, and because a really bad thing happened, he went to sleep and when he woke up so that he could be my friend, he doesn’t need to sleep anymore. I love Jin the most in the world! He’s my only friend, and I wish I could be together forever with him. He makes everything okay, even when I’m sad, even when Uncle is angry and even when I’m scared. He’s someone that Uncle can never take away from me, because Jin can’t get hurt anymore. Jin says he will never leave me and I believe him! It’s because I love Jin!
Kazuya couldn’t help his hands shaking; this…
This made the connection real. The Kazuya from years ago…he was talking about a dead child, a ghost - a ghost that only stayed so that he could help the abused child.
“Yeah, that’s what I looked like when I first read that too…”
Kazuya’s head was ducked, as he tried not to burst into tears. It was just too…
He could remember…one of the dreams had been of a conversation with the other Jin about this very topic. He remembered this.
“So…I guess it really is true…” Kazuya said shakily, “I’m…Jin is…”
“You can draw any conclusions you want. I know what I believe,” the older man said, “And at this point, the impossible makes the most sense.”
Kazuya could barely think straight; it was true then. The dreams…he knew from the dreams that he had once been that child, but…this just cemented that conclusion.
“And just some food for thought, Kamenashi, before you leave - and you can keep that by the way.” The man added, “It technically belongs to you anyways. Kazuya never got it back years ago before he died…on February 23rd…” he added, smiling wryly at Kazuya’s horrified and shocked look, “And Jin died months before Kazuya did, on July 4th. Too many coincidences to be just a coincidence, no?”
Kazuya had no answer to that, and staring at the report written in childish handwriting, he had to be led out of the house by Tatsuya. He barely even noticed the investigator handing him a piece of paper with writing scribbles on it, but once he did, he bit his lip as he thought about what awaited him when he got back to Jin’s place.
I don’t regret finding out, I don’t regret any of it. The truth behind these nightmares…I know it now. And I know, somehow, I know that there’s only one thing left to do…
* * *
The kitchen was dimly lit when he got back to the Akanishi place - it seemed everyone else had gone out to dinner. Or at least, most everyone else. Kazuya stared determinedly back at Jin, who was looking at Kazuya with an angry expression.
“I got your note,” Jin said with an accusing tone in his voice.
“I did ask Reio to give it to you,” Kazuya answered calmly.
Jin stood up abruptly from the chair, causing its legs to scrape in a loud screeching sound across the tiled floor, “Kazuya!”
Kazuya was silent, staring back unwaveringly, “I did what I had to do.” He answered defiantly.
“You went behind my back!” Jin said angrily, waving the piece of paper around, “You promised - you promised that you wouldn’t bring that stuff up anymore, and you go behind my back to go on some quest for the truth that no one wants!”
Kazuya straightened, staring angrily at Jin, “No one wants?! Behind your back?! I never went behind your back! I never broke that promise! I promised I wouldn’t involve you and I didn’t! You didn’t come to listen to the story behind those two children today! You didn’t get involved when I was trying to find that guy who made that report to my father! And no one wants the truth? You mean, you don’t want it!” he shouted back, “You don’t want to find out the truth, but I do, and I did! Don’t pretend that you were doing it for my own good, Jin! You just didn’t want it yourself!”
Jin looked like he had been hit.
“I…” he then bristled in anger, “No, you just used underhanded ways to get what you wanted! You knew what I meant that day - you knew I wanted both of us to leave it alone!”
“Well, unfortunately, I’m not you, Jin. I had to find out the truth, and not run away.”
“I’m not running away!” Jin protested angrily.
“Yes you are!” Kazuya retorted, “I understood that you were scared, understood that you didn’t want to find out, but don’t act like that just because I wanted to find out, I’ve betrayed you.” He stared hard at Jin, “Sometimes, I wonder if you only care about me when it’s convenient for you.”
Jin’s shocked expression only made him say all those things in his mind aloud.
“Did you think about why I was so determined to find out the truth? I needed to know the truth, or it would’ve never left me alone; I would have gone crazy with how much I thought about it. Did you even notice that? I even told you…that night. Did you think that I would have even burdened you with it if I could shove it all away and pretend it didn’t exist? And…and you know what, Jin…no matter how much you try to make me feel better, with nice words and promises…don’t you think, that just once, you should just let me have what I want instead of making me feel bad about it?” he asked, voice breaking.
At this point, he knew he wasn’t talking just about the nightmares anymore, but more of what had happened between them weeks ago.
Jin stared at him, “I…Kazuya…”
“I shouldn’t have to feel bad because I wanted to find out the truth, Jin. I shouldn’t have to feel like I’m burdening you with my feelings. I…I should be able to think of things like love and like without my heart breaking. I…I almost wish I was still that little boy!” Kazuya said, voice going quiet, “Maybe…maybe then…” he broke off, pulling something out of his pocket and thrusting it at Jin, “Here. Why can’t I be like that Jin? Why can’t I look at love in that way anymore?”
He could feel his hurt from the past few weeks breaking through that wall around his emotions and he took a deep breath, “Tomorrow, I’m taking a day off school. I’m going to see their graves and pay my respects.” And with that, he left the room, leaving Jin to stare at the same paper that had both touched his heart and made him bitter about his own feelings. It was a paper written with innocent feelings about love - the same fluttery, untainted, love that Kazuya wished he could say he still had.
“Kazuya…” Jin said slowly, even as he read the paper written in childish handwriting, “Kazuya…”
He sank back into the chair, all anger dissolved, as he stared from the paper in his hand to the stairs that Kazuya had gone up.
Why were things this complicated?
Why hadn’t he noticed how much Kazuya was still hurting?
Why...
But the thing that hurt him the most was the accusing look in Kazuya’s eyes, and the hurt in the younger boy’s voice as he silently asked…
Why did I have to tell you where I was after I left? Why couldn’t I have trusted you to be there while I faced my demons? Why weren’t you helping me fight our demons?
Why couldn’t he have been there for Kazuya today?
* * *
The next day, Kazuya went downstairs to find that Jin was there. And not at school. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, “What’re you doing here?” he asked with a frown.
Jin merely stared at him.
“Look, Tat-chan will be here soon. He’s driving me. I told you yesterday already -”
“He’s not coming. I told Reio to call him.” Jin interrupted.
Kazuya blinked and then looked outraged, “What?!”
“He’s not coming.” Jin repeated.
“I’m not letting that stop me from going, Jin, if that’s what you had planned! I’m getting there one way or another, whether you like it or not!” Kazuya seethed, looking at Jin with accusing eyes.
Jin let out a mirthless laugh, “And you just assume that that’s what I’m doing? Stopping you?”
“Well, it’s not like you’ve done anything else when it comes to this,” Kazuya retorted bitterly and Jin flinched.
“I’ve decided to go with you,” Jin finally said, voice hard as he matched Kazuya’s defiant look. He watched as that look changed into one of shock and he smiled wryly, “Don’t look so surprised. You could have a little more faith in me you know.” He added.
Kazuya merely shrugged, “Was anything I said last night wrong?” he asked; it wasn’t harsh, and wasn’t meant to hurt, but the calm way he said it made Jin wince.
“I do care, you know.” Jin said with a breaking voice, “More than you know.”
“I’ll have to take your word for it,” Kazuya said, forcing his voice to be calm, as he began to leave the room, “I’m going to get my stuff.” He muttered.
“Kazuya -” Jin cut himself off as he took hold of Kazuya’s wrist before the younger boy could leave. For a moment, their eyes met - both of them showed a different type of pain in their eyes, but pain nonetheless - and Jin slowly and reluctantly let go.
Kazuya merely smiled a wry smile in response to that.
* * *
Jin watched as Kazuya sat on his heels in front of the grave to put one of the bouquet of flowers on it. It looked as though no one had visited this grave in years, and he was probably right. Who remembered these two abused children who had only evil people as family? He watched as Kazuya tried his best to hide the sad look on his face as he looked at the writing on the grave. His heart broke for the younger man.
He stepped forward, putting a hand on Kazuya’s shoulder to offer comfort, before, lowering his own bouquet of flowers onto the boy’s grave. Next to it, by some miraculous chance, was the grave of the other boy. It had probably been because both of them had died in the same community from the same causes, so the community that had paid for their funerals had made sure to bury them next to each other. It was still eerie how even their graves were together though.
He felt a tug of sadness at his heart as he remembered the dreams as he looked at the two graves.
May you find the happiness that you couldn’t in life, he read the old, barely legible writing, closing his eyes and biting his lip to keep himself from crying. He had seen what had happened first hand; he knew how much these two children had suffered at the hands of someone that should have been protecting them.
“May you find the love that you never got in life…” Kazuya read in soft tones, voice cracking a little, “It’s…”
Jin watched in panic as Kazuya buried his face into his hands, shoulders shaking, “He…I…He tried so hard. To live, it’s not fair…” he mumbled, “It’s not fair at all. Why…”
Jin could only stand there and watch, knowing that there was nothing he could say to make the pain lessen. The remorse, the injustice of it all, the complete sadness that came with those memories, and seeing these graves for real, knowing that it had really happened…it was indescribable. The grief was indescribable.
Tears streamed silently down his cheeks, as the grief hit home, as realization hit him like a ton of bricks. This had been real; this was what he had been running away from. This…
“Kazuya…” he sat on his heels next to Kazuya and wrapped his arms around the younger man, pulling him to him. The younger boy didn’t even protest as he buried his face into Jin’s face, letting Jin comfort him, gripping Jin’s shirt tightly in his hands, “It’s not fair, Jin…” he said thickly.
“I know…I know it’s not,” Jin said quietly, “But…” he didn’t know what he could say, “but they won, in the end, they can’t be hurt by those people anymore. They’re not suffering. We’re not suffering.” He added softly, noticing how Kazuya merely held him tighter, as if Jin’s mere presence reassured him of that, “We’ll never forget this…never forget what happened, but…we’re happy…right?”
He could feel Kazuya nod briefly, and his arms tightened around the younger man, “Then I’m sure that side of us…can rest in peace.”
“All they wanted was to be happy,” Kazuya said softly, “And to never forget each other.”
“And they - we - are…and we won’t…” Jin said just as softly, still holding Kazuya tightly to him; it was only Kazuya that was helping him get through this without breaking down, “We will be happy.” He said, and for a moment, he felt a light feeling in his chest, as though some part of him was agreeing with those words. The moment was fleeing though and was gone after a moment, but Jin had felt it, and he had a feeling Kazuya had too.
“Another promise Jin?” Kazuya asked with a shake of his head.
“Not just ‘another’ promise,” Jin corrected as he curled his fingers into Kazuya’s shoulder, “I mean it. I swear to you. I swear to you that I will make you happy, no matter what you think about my promises lately.”
Kazuya didn’t say anything, but Jin knew he wouldn’t; Kazuya had taken to falling silent whenever Jin made one of those promises lately, as though he wanted to believe in them, but didn’t dare to. If he didn’t say it aloud, he wouldn’t be setting himself up to fall…
“I do promise, Kazuya. I really do.”
* * *
He was sitting on a tree branch, looking down at the grave below. A hand on his made him look up and he smiled at the smaller boy.
“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” he asked suddenly.
The younger boy merely swung his legs as he smiled down at the grave, “It’s been years. I think it’s time.” He waved down at the people below, but as always, no one saw him. No one ever saw them.
“But…”
“We can’t stay like this forever. I’d like to try growing up one day.” The younger boy said with a smile, “I think…life sounds pretty good now. I know I didn’t want to try it again so quickly before, but…isn’t it time?”
“We might be separated,” he pointed out.
“We knew it’d happen. You have to go first, that’s the way it works.” The boy shrugged, “I’ll watch over you, like you used to watch over me.”
He frowned, “But…”
“We’ll find each other again some day; I know we will. We found each other back then didn’t we?”
“But we might not remember…”
“We’ll still be the same people; we’ll just grow up. We’ll remember. Eventually. No matter how long it takes, we’ll remember.”
“I guess…”
“Just promise me…that even if, just a big if, we don’t meet each other again, you’ll remember me. That no matter what, you’ll remember me, and what we share.”
“I will,” he promised, “I won’t ever forget. I’ll remember you no matter what it takes.”
* * *
Kazuya tapped his foot impatiently as he glanced out at the school grounds, watching as rain fell on the early summer day. He had gotten wet coming over here because Jin had asked him to, and now, Jin was still not here. It figured Jin would be late when he was the one to ask him to come over here.
He smiled a tiny bit though; although neither of them said anything about it, the dreams had stopped. Kazuya still believed that he had been right in thinking that it was the fact that they had gone all the way to the end to find out the truth that had stopped the dreams, that they were merely a way for them to remember what had happened. Things between Kazuya and Jin were a bit more peaceful now without the mystery of those dreams hanging over them.
“Sorry, sorry!” Jin said, out of breath as he came to a stop next to Kazuya, hair wet. He looked sheepishly at the younger man, “Toma made us stay in the locker room to go over game plans since we couldn’t practice today.” He said mournfully, “I fell asleep and Ryo and Pi drew on my arm with markers.” He whined, holding up an arm that looked freshly scrubbed with just a hint of colored shapes still on the skin.
Kazuya raised an eyebrow, trying not to laugh, “Anyways, you asked me to meet you at school, so…what is it? My parents are coming back from visiting my brother tonight you know. I don’t think they’ll be too happy if I caught a cold because I was walking around in the rain.”
Weeks after their visit to their graves, Kazuya’s parents, now satisfied that Kazuya’s brother was going through physical therapy well enough and that they didn’t need to help out anymore, had come back. They occasionally went to visit from time to time though.
“I know…I mean, I know that they’re coming back,” Jin said, smiling, “How’s your brother?” he asked.
“Recovering,” Kazuya answered, blinking in confusion, “You called me here to talk about my brother?” he asked in confusion.
“No!” Jin said quickly, “Let’s walk?” he suggested, grabbing the umbrella from Kazuya’s hand.
Kazuya stared incredulously at Jin, “You forgot your umbrella and only called me here because you needed someone to walk you home didn’t you?” he accused with a twitch of his lips.
Jin blanched, “No!” he paused, “Although it would really be nice if you could walk me home.”
“Jin…”
“I actually did have something to say to you though!” Jin insisted.
Kazuya crossed his arms, “Fine, talk - Jin!” he yelped as Jin kept on walking…the umbrella with him. Jin turned, eyes widening, before quickly retracing his steps so that he could cover Kazuya with the umbrella again, “Sorry!” he said, but he laughed, “You should have kept walking.”
“I’m still getting wet…” Kazuya glared accusingly at his umbrella and at Jin who was holding it.
“Sorry,” Jin laughed and then he paused.
Holding the umbrella up over Kazuya’s head and letting himself get rained on a bit, he leaned in and suddenly pressed his lips firmly against Kazuya’s.
The reaction was instantaneous; Kazuya’s were wide and Jin clasped a hand on Kazuya’s shoulder to deepen the kiss a little bit more.
The younger man then snapped out of his shock and then pulled away, looking at Jin with a wary look, “What are you doing?” he asked incredulous, but Jin didn’t miss that hopeful undertone in his voice.
Jin drew closer again, “You’re getting wet…” he commented. Kazuya took a step back, waving off the comment and not caring that he really was getting rained on.
“Jin.”
“Well, I figure that it’s a universal way to say ‘I love you’, so I’m trying it out.” Jin said, before letting the umbrella go slack at his side as he took a step forward again, “Kazuya…”
The younger man was looking at him with a strange mix of wary hope in his eyes.
Jin was leaning in again, his lips mere centimeters from Kazuya’s, both of them ignoring the droplets of rain falling on them, “I’m done asking you to wait…” he said softly, and Kazuya could barely hear those words, his heart was beating so quickly and loudly in his chest.
Jin’s lips found their way onto his again, as a hand found his and entwined their fingers together, and Kazuya could only close his eyes as he let himself get lost in this moment - this moment that he had been hoping and believing in Jin’s promises for.
I love you.
And he returned the kiss, a fluttery feeling in his heart that made him think that all the waiting, all the promises, all the hurt in between, had definitely been worth it. This feeling…
I love you too.
------- END ------------
And that's the end of it all! Happy ending~~~ :) which is good, 'cause it'd be really sad if i started a fic about them being reborn and it became a super sad angsty ending XDD Hope you all enjoyed it and....um....oh right. Little trivia =P The 'inspector's name, i kinda cheated, 'cause I just took the name of the guy Kame played in Kindaichi, since he was a mystery-solving guy and yeahhhh....*was too lazy to make up a name*. And all of you can thank pinkeuphoria1 for keeping me on track for finishing this XDDD Without her...well, let's just say it wouldn't have been finished this quickly (or this coherently XD).
And...i have class really soon, so i'm just gonna quickly finish posting. Bye, guys~~~
Congratulations on finishing reading this monster of a fic =P