In The Loop
“Are you kidding me?”
Alex watched his husband pace back and forth, deviating from his path only to avoid the couch and coffee table. “Well, considering how you are acting, can you blame her?”
“Yes!” James flung his hands up in the air, turning to Alex. Leaning against the couch and crossing his arms, he grumbled, “For once, it would be nice to be in the loop! Just for a change of pace…”
Mildly amused, Alex moved to place a hand lightly on James’ arm; James subconsciously followed the touch until he found himself in his husband’s arms. “Come on, James. Your mom probably had no idea what to do, if anything could even be done.” Twining his fingers through James’ ponytail, he soothed, “She was homeless, broke, and alone. She couldn’t afford to have twins. Hell, she couldn’t afford to have Lessa. Can you really blame her for hiding the fact that she was forced to give up one of her baby girls? She must feel so guilty about it even without your help.”
For a moment, James wavered before his anger collapsed into sullen annoyance. “Well… why can’t I be informed for once? I would love to be in the loop once in a while.”
“You were in the loop about Rae and Lanon,” Alex pointed out.
James could only smother his smile for about a second, but it won out in the end. “Yes, well… it would be hard for me to not know about them.”
Alex turned the other man around in his arms so that blue eyes met grey. “And it would be hard for you to know about her. Be fair. I know you have some mixed feelings about Adela, but she isn’t a bad person, and you know it.”
Wavering between begrudging agreement and grumpy denial, James leaned his head on Alex’s shoulder. “What are we going to do?” he asked, eyes closed lightly. “Mom said the girl’s in an orphanage.”
“An orphanage?” Alex’s blue eyes went wide. “She is?”
James nodded, adding, “She’s been there for fifteen years, apparently. I… I can’t just…”
But they both knew what he couldn’t. For a moment, they stood there, James resting his forehead against Alex and Alex holding James close to him. Finally Alex spoke, voice barely above a whisper. “What are we going to do? What are you going to do?”
“First…” James blew a sigh. “First I need to tell Lessa. See what she thinks. See what she wants. Then…” After a short hesitation, he continued, “Then we need to ask mom if we can… well, after we ask Lessa if we can… I mean, after I ask you if we-“
Alex failed to contain his little chuckle. “James. I’m going to stand by any decision you make. You already know what I am going to say.” When James didn’t respond, he pressed, “You already know how I feel about this. I know you do. I can see it.” He nudged his husband’s head up to a level where they could lean their foreheads together. “Do what you think is best, okay?”
Grey eyes shifted nervously. “What if my decision isn’t the right one?”
“I’ll stand by you regardless.” He pressed a soft kiss to James’ lips. “You’ll make the right decision, though. You always do.”
Another sigh, then James pulled away from his lover. “I guess I better go tell Lessa… I know she’ll want to be in the loop too.” But as he walked away, James hesitated once again. “…I love you.”
“I love you too.” Reassured, James turned to smile at Alex one last time before heading off to speak to his sister.