OOC Musing: Fires of the Heart
Important Things Happened.
Just how important still remains to be seen, but this will have an affect.
It was Aaron's words that struck me the most, as I'm sure they were intended to.
"I wonder if it's right for her to love you so. Or healthy. You and I, we're not things to be loved."
I learned a lesson, reinforced just recently, that people who are too alike cannot get along. They will either hate each other or become bored with each other. They say opposites attract, but common interests are equally important. I have found in my lifelong best friend Aurora, and now in my tenuous relationship with Ryuu, that a balance between aspects which we share and ones in which we are opposite forms the greatest base for true friendship.
Ryuu has told me that her heart is very guarded. She once said that she did not think she truly loved anyone.
Whereas I am openhearted and empathic. I become attached to people almost too easily. Perhaps Aaron's words were correct in that sense.
I've always preferred to role-play as characters I create myself because they are aspects of me and I can feel what they feel. Songbird is the closest character to myself who is not myself, and thus it is no surprise that I feel echoes of what she does, or rather what she would if she had a heart. I am her heart.
"I get the impression she may wish to keep you, but you and I both know that's not possible."
I had to read that post three times before I fully registered the sincerity of those words.
It's true, I do want to keep her. Like dear Redd from Wolf Mountain, who my character Toric met seven and a half years ago and whom has become perhaps as good a friend as can be made over the internet, even during the times when I am distracted and we only speak once or twice a month.
Perhaps Ryuu will be like Val instead. I still care about him, still miss him and worry about his well-being, even though we have not exchanged more than brief greetings in years, and all of those instigated by me. I couldn't keep him. I know that now, but the circumstances that created the distance between us have always given me a sense of unfinished business. If not for my mistake, if not for my foolish words, it could have been different...
But I think that even if I cannot "keep" Ryuu, even if World Refugees ends and we never again share excitement, joy or sorrow over the things that matter to us and fuel our dreams and inspiration... even if we never speak again when this is over, what we did have - do have right now, at this moment - will be complete. It won't be like Val, who I loved as much as a hopeless romantic fourteen-year-old can love a person who lives 2000 miles way, and who was taken away from me not because of who we were but because of a mistake. No, whatever happens between Ryuu and Songbird - and through Songbird, me - I will remember her with only joy that I could know her for that short time. You cannot cage a dragon. I should know that well, shouldn't I? And if you love something, you have to let it go free.
The theme and driving force of Kingdom Hearts is friendship. That is why, even though we have drastically changed the story at this point, World Refugees is still Kingdom Hearts.
... and I can't help but think, if that dream-city was what I thought it was, then I got into her heart after all. And through Aaron's gift, she was sharing her heart with Songbird, for surely that was the source of those feelings. Not the specific emotions themselves, but the ability to feel them.
Just how important still remains to be seen, but this will have an affect.
It was Aaron's words that struck me the most, as I'm sure they were intended to.
"I wonder if it's right for her to love you so. Or healthy. You and I, we're not things to be loved."
I learned a lesson, reinforced just recently, that people who are too alike cannot get along. They will either hate each other or become bored with each other. They say opposites attract, but common interests are equally important. I have found in my lifelong best friend Aurora, and now in my tenuous relationship with Ryuu, that a balance between aspects which we share and ones in which we are opposite forms the greatest base for true friendship.
Ryuu has told me that her heart is very guarded. She once said that she did not think she truly loved anyone.
Whereas I am openhearted and empathic. I become attached to people almost too easily. Perhaps Aaron's words were correct in that sense.
I've always preferred to role-play as characters I create myself because they are aspects of me and I can feel what they feel. Songbird is the closest character to myself who is not myself, and thus it is no surprise that I feel echoes of what she does, or rather what she would if she had a heart. I am her heart.
"I get the impression she may wish to keep you, but you and I both know that's not possible."
I had to read that post three times before I fully registered the sincerity of those words.
It's true, I do want to keep her. Like dear Redd from Wolf Mountain, who my character Toric met seven and a half years ago and whom has become perhaps as good a friend as can be made over the internet, even during the times when I am distracted and we only speak once or twice a month.
Perhaps Ryuu will be like Val instead. I still care about him, still miss him and worry about his well-being, even though we have not exchanged more than brief greetings in years, and all of those instigated by me. I couldn't keep him. I know that now, but the circumstances that created the distance between us have always given me a sense of unfinished business. If not for my mistake, if not for my foolish words, it could have been different...
But I think that even if I cannot "keep" Ryuu, even if World Refugees ends and we never again share excitement, joy or sorrow over the things that matter to us and fuel our dreams and inspiration... even if we never speak again when this is over, what we did have - do have right now, at this moment - will be complete. It won't be like Val, who I loved as much as a hopeless romantic fourteen-year-old can love a person who lives 2000 miles way, and who was taken away from me not because of who we were but because of a mistake. No, whatever happens between Ryuu and Songbird - and through Songbird, me - I will remember her with only joy that I could know her for that short time. You cannot cage a dragon. I should know that well, shouldn't I? And if you love something, you have to let it go free.
The theme and driving force of Kingdom Hearts is friendship. That is why, even though we have drastically changed the story at this point, World Refugees is still Kingdom Hearts.
... and I can't help but think, if that dream-city was what I thought it was, then I got into her heart after all. And through Aaron's gift, she was sharing her heart with Songbird, for surely that was the source of those feelings. Not the specific emotions themselves, but the ability to feel them.