In-Character Post (this time)
Chiiaro was kind enough to lend me her bed, but I find it difficult to sleep when my chest is empty and my mind is full. Granted, that has been the case ever since I fell into existence last June. I suppose that qualifies me as an insomniac.
... It was June, wasn't it? So short a life, really. I am less than a year old...
Apologies. I tend to ramble late at night when I am alone.
I'm not alone right now, though, really. Chii, one of the kindest and most well-adjusted of the Refugees, is asleep on the floor. I did argue when she told me to take her bed, but she proved more stubborn than I.
There are two others here, also, though they sleep as well. More so than even Chii, they are like me.
My fellow Nobodies, Axel and Roxas, now refugees themselves. I pray to whatever (most likely nonexistent) gods care to listen that their rebellion does not result in their deaths. I think they may be more important to our broken species than even Xemnas realized, if only because they care.
Even the affection I felt towards Ryuu was naught but a fleeting memory of what friendship should be. I regret to say that, though I still respect her and am always interested to speak with her, I feel nothing for her.
Likewise, I have very little true loyalty to the Refugees, and that is concerning. I am on their side, yes, but only because I am fairly certain that Xemnas is wrong. Should I ever decide differently, there is a chance that I might take after Axel and choose the side that benefits me most at the time. I am honestly not certain if I would have qualms about betraying the Refugees, should the choice seem right.
Well now... This late-night self-evaluation is taking a dark turn.
Back to the subject of Axel and Roxas.
Roxas, I believe, would have left Organization XIII with or without my encouragement. I may sped up his choice, but I sense that it was bound to happen eventually.
Axel, on the other hand...
Roxas had made him promise not to follow, and even to obey the Organization should they command him to hunt Roxas down. Imagine, asking your only friend to kill you if your tyrannical Superior orders him to.
Axel would not have killed Roxas. Even he is not that heartless. He would have kept his promise so far as staying in the safety of the Organization, though, if it were not for me.
He was upset, yes. Distraught, even. But that was only more evidence that he was giving up on ever seeing his friend again.
I told Roxas not to push him away, and I told Axel that it is better to break a promise than to destroy a friendship. I think that was the statement which finally changed his mind.
Whatever the case, for better or for worse, they are both here now. In a selfish way, it pleases me. I am no longer the only Nobody Refugee.
Well, there is also that little Dancer, but it has lost its human form and mind, and thus does not really count, regrettably.
They were already asleep when I arrived, so they do not know of my presence yet. I look forward to bidding Roxas 'good morning'. The few conversations we have shared over the internet have been refreshing. Speaking with him face to face - and Axel too - should be... fun.
I have requested to meet with Xemnas at some point. I wish to know him. I want to get past that front of obsessive arrogance and actually see the half-person he is underneath. Perhaps then I can better understand him and... dare I hope... have a chance of changing his mind. He is wrong, and he has done great evil, but for reasons that even I can't quite name, I bare no grudge or true dislike for him. I actually want to help him. Not with his current cause, of course, because I do not believe in it.
No, I want to help him find a better way.
... It was June, wasn't it? So short a life, really. I am less than a year old...
Apologies. I tend to ramble late at night when I am alone.
I'm not alone right now, though, really. Chii, one of the kindest and most well-adjusted of the Refugees, is asleep on the floor. I did argue when she told me to take her bed, but she proved more stubborn than I.
There are two others here, also, though they sleep as well. More so than even Chii, they are like me.
My fellow Nobodies, Axel and Roxas, now refugees themselves. I pray to whatever (most likely nonexistent) gods care to listen that their rebellion does not result in their deaths. I think they may be more important to our broken species than even Xemnas realized, if only because they care.
Even the affection I felt towards Ryuu was naught but a fleeting memory of what friendship should be. I regret to say that, though I still respect her and am always interested to speak with her, I feel nothing for her.
Likewise, I have very little true loyalty to the Refugees, and that is concerning. I am on their side, yes, but only because I am fairly certain that Xemnas is wrong. Should I ever decide differently, there is a chance that I might take after Axel and choose the side that benefits me most at the time. I am honestly not certain if I would have qualms about betraying the Refugees, should the choice seem right.
Well now... This late-night self-evaluation is taking a dark turn.
Back to the subject of Axel and Roxas.
Roxas, I believe, would have left Organization XIII with or without my encouragement. I may sped up his choice, but I sense that it was bound to happen eventually.
Axel, on the other hand...
Roxas had made him promise not to follow, and even to obey the Organization should they command him to hunt Roxas down. Imagine, asking your only friend to kill you if your tyrannical Superior orders him to.
Axel would not have killed Roxas. Even he is not that heartless. He would have kept his promise so far as staying in the safety of the Organization, though, if it were not for me.
He was upset, yes. Distraught, even. But that was only more evidence that he was giving up on ever seeing his friend again.
I told Roxas not to push him away, and I told Axel that it is better to break a promise than to destroy a friendship. I think that was the statement which finally changed his mind.
Whatever the case, for better or for worse, they are both here now. In a selfish way, it pleases me. I am no longer the only Nobody Refugee.
Well, there is also that little Dancer, but it has lost its human form and mind, and thus does not really count, regrettably.
They were already asleep when I arrived, so they do not know of my presence yet. I look forward to bidding Roxas 'good morning'. The few conversations we have shared over the internet have been refreshing. Speaking with him face to face - and Axel too - should be... fun.
I have requested to meet with Xemnas at some point. I wish to know him. I want to get past that front of obsessive arrogance and actually see the half-person he is underneath. Perhaps then I can better understand him and... dare I hope... have a chance of changing his mind. He is wrong, and he has done great evil, but for reasons that even I can't quite name, I bare no grudge or true dislike for him. I actually want to help him. Not with his current cause, of course, because I do not believe in it.
No, I want to help him find a better way.