age differences
I was thinking about the age differences between and among my kids and their cousins. My daughter Jackie is the oldest; not quite two years younger is my niece, Megan. Not quite two years younger than her is my son Graham, and his cousin Mike (my nephew) is seven months younger than Graham.
This arrangement has worked wonderfully well for the boys. Since they're practically the same age, they play together like best friends do - with all the hugs and squabbles that come with it.
Jackie and Megan have had a little different sort of relationship - more of a big sister/little sister deal. Especially when they were in small single digits (for example, 5 and 3), Jackie took the lead and Megan happily followed. They got along very well, partly I think because of this dynamic and partly because they mostly liked the same things when they were in the 3 to 9 year range (Barbies, Polly Pocket, horses, stuffed animals, princess costumes, dolls).
Now that the kids are older, things have changed a bit. Between the girls, that is. (I don't think the boys will ever change.) It used to be that during a birthday party, all the girls banded together to do whatever the activity was. For example, even though Jackie was older than Megan's friends, she slid right in to the group without really taking over as a big sister might. And likewise, even though Megan was younger than Jackie's friends, the older girls embraced her (so to speak) and made sure that she felt included.
This year, in particular, things have diverged. Megan is 12 and in middle school, and Jackie is 14 and in high school. The age difference remains the same, of course, but the mindsets have changed. High school has been like a conveyor belt onto which Jackie has hopped, and she is swiftly moving along to a kind of maturity that Megan has only begun to think about.
Megan was unable to attend Jackie's birthday party this year, and while we missed her, to tell the truth, that may not have been such a bad thing. Jackie's friends, of course, would have done what they could to make Megan part of the group, but they would have left her behind anyway. They wouldn't have been able to help it. They are 14 and 15 years old, and while Megan isn't exactly a little kid, she is not as "big" as the high schoolers.
I like to think that this divergence will last only a little while, perhaps a year or two more, until Megan is in high school, too. Then, she'll be more of a peer and less of a little sister. Interesting times are ahead for all of us with the teen years.
This arrangement has worked wonderfully well for the boys. Since they're practically the same age, they play together like best friends do - with all the hugs and squabbles that come with it.
Jackie and Megan have had a little different sort of relationship - more of a big sister/little sister deal. Especially when they were in small single digits (for example, 5 and 3), Jackie took the lead and Megan happily followed. They got along very well, partly I think because of this dynamic and partly because they mostly liked the same things when they were in the 3 to 9 year range (Barbies, Polly Pocket, horses, stuffed animals, princess costumes, dolls).
Now that the kids are older, things have changed a bit. Between the girls, that is. (I don't think the boys will ever change.) It used to be that during a birthday party, all the girls banded together to do whatever the activity was. For example, even though Jackie was older than Megan's friends, she slid right in to the group without really taking over as a big sister might. And likewise, even though Megan was younger than Jackie's friends, the older girls embraced her (so to speak) and made sure that she felt included.
This year, in particular, things have diverged. Megan is 12 and in middle school, and Jackie is 14 and in high school. The age difference remains the same, of course, but the mindsets have changed. High school has been like a conveyor belt onto which Jackie has hopped, and she is swiftly moving along to a kind of maturity that Megan has only begun to think about.
Megan was unable to attend Jackie's birthday party this year, and while we missed her, to tell the truth, that may not have been such a bad thing. Jackie's friends, of course, would have done what they could to make Megan part of the group, but they would have left her behind anyway. They wouldn't have been able to help it. They are 14 and 15 years old, and while Megan isn't exactly a little kid, she is not as "big" as the high schoolers.
I like to think that this divergence will last only a little while, perhaps a year or two more, until Megan is in high school, too. Then, she'll be more of a peer and less of a little sister. Interesting times are ahead for all of us with the teen years.