gee, thanks

[songbird44]

I was uninvited to a party the other day. This was a bit of a shock; you don't often encounter that kind of sheer naked rudeness - at least, I don't. But then again, I generally hang out with grownups who have learned not to treat each other that way

Comments

[anonymous]

Wow. It *is* rough being the adult sometimes - I tend to get internally whiny in these situations and think "Why do *I* have to be the mature one here? Why can't I just be rude like everyone else?" I have to remind myself that behaving that way has never once made me feel better - as a matter of fact, I've always regretted it when I've said or done something hurtful, no matter how justified I felt before I did it.

Which is not to say that unacceptable behavior should be excused. I can't decide whether I would talk to her about it or not, though. If you're likely to see her on a regular basis, I would - even if I didn't think it would do her any good, at least she would have information that might prevent her from hurting other people. (If she's anything like me, she'll start having epiphany moments in her 30s where she realizes how much of a jerk she was on some occasions, and she'll remember the conversation she had with you.) :-)

But if you're not likely to see her again, meh. I dunno. It might not be worth it. The only thing I WOULDN'T do is pretend it's OK if she or her boyfriend mentions it - not with a big dramatic showdown, but just with a simple "Yeah, that kind of surprised me, and didn't feel so great." If they're the kind of people that you'd want to be around, they'll pick up on that.

(Sorry if this is too much unsolicited advice, by the way...)

Cheers,
S. (fishiefishies)

[songbird44]

Not too much unsolicited advice at all! I appreciate your take on things (things in general, and also the things I mention here).

I think your advice is spot-on to mention it - if it comes up - with the casual sort of comment that you suggest. It's adult, it's truthful, and it's not vindictive. I'll put it in my back pocket just in case.