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takeintoaccount April 1 2011, 18:46:29 UTC
Hey miss, don't blame yourself for having a hard time despite things "not happening to you." Disaster, natural or otherwise, affects everyone differently, regardless of whether anything traditionally traumatic (ie, you seeing the wave, or knowing someone who's died, etc) happened directly to you. You are, whether you like it or not, in the midst of a disaster zone; it doesn't matter than you're not in the "worst" of it, because it's affected you, plain and simple. You are still affected by the power outages, the shaking/barrage of practically constant aftershocks, the rationing, the limited transportation, the infrastructure that has ground to a halt, the country that is under the intense scrutiny of the entire world. And to top all of that all, you're in there as a foreigner. A stranger. Yes, you're in a country that has captured your heart and that you love with your whole being, and yes, you've made friends and you've found people to connect with, but you don't have family over there, you don't have a best friend, you don't have the same kind of support system that many people going through this thing have. There is nothing to feel bad about. There is no need to feel guilty that you're taking it just as hard as someone who's lost a mother or brother or friend. And while I know saying that won't make you not feel guilty, I hope it will make you feel less guilty for feeling guilty, if that makes a shred of sense.

I hope you know how brave you were to go into Taro. That probably doesn't count for much, but you obviously found some kind of strength inside of you in order to be able to even do something like that - which is something not everyone can say or do.

And I just want to say this, and I hope that you don't get offended or anything. But if there are any kind of professionals, or adults that you feel close to, or at least someone that you can talk to, you should think about doing so. Community is one of the most helpful things in the aftermath of such an event. People like that are there to help you. Don't let it make you feel weak. In something like this, with every person responding in a different way, it's really important that you don't close yourself off entirely. And I understand completely that you probably want to be alone, because I'm that way too. I would take my bed and my computer over a night out with friends even after not having something awful happen to and around me. But sometimes even just sitting somewhere and watching people can be helpful because you can watch how they go along with their lives, see that they are going along with their lives, somehow, and maybe you can find a little comfort in that. I believe that you can care for yourself and that you know better than anyone what will work best for you, so you should continue to do that, but don't try to hide from yourself in your effort to take a break from the world and try to find normalcy. Okay?

And you should always know that you have support and friends around the world who love you and miss you and think about you all the time.

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takeintoaccount April 1 2011, 18:57:08 UTC
And by the way, when I say that it might be helpful to people-watch so that you can see that life does go on, I don't mean that as a way to hurt you even more. Because seeing other people go on while you hurt inside can be as unhelpful as it can be helpful. So don't let toxic thoughts like, "well, they're getting along just fine, how come I'm not," occupy your time, okay? Because life doesn't work like that. Like I said a couple of times, every person reacts differently and if, if it helps to see how other people are reacting and if that gives you hope that you can continue to find normalcy in the little things of day-to-day life, then you should do whatever makes it possible for you to see that. If something like that won't help, then don't try to force it. Find the thing that works for you, but don't stop looking until you do find it.

And like I said, talking to someone, especially someone like a counselor, who is trained for this kind of thing, can be helpful, even if it's just a one time thing.

If I could give you a hug right now, you know I would. In the fall, when I live on the east coast? You and me (and Marguerite and Bailey) are going to get together for a giant, weekend-long snuggle puddle, filled with head-scritchies, and Supernatural, and inappropriate conversation topics, and it's going to be awesome.

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