For Van
Sept 6-9--Baguio: where my tactlessness those days has repercussions today. The effects are changing me in a very painful way.
The bright side is: for the first time, Van actually gave me some advice. I'm glad you were around Van. I feel like bowling: one down two to go. The feeling is like checking five items in your what-to-do list. That's what Van made me feel. Thanks for opening up about your family. This is what it means when I say "I feel better." Thank you Van; thanks, my tears are almost there pero hindi parin pumapatak. At least you pushed them when you consoled. Thank you so much. Now I know how it feels to thank God for having blessings like you. Thank you.
"5-Second Rule. Forgive yourself. Correct your mistakes for yourself not for others to have a different impression of you. It's not about redeeming how others look at you. It's about growing individually from your mistake. And if that person you offended still holds the grudge, he's hurting himself... "
Lesson learned: When you're cornered and hear, "Song! Si Song! Si Song! Si Song!" Swarming like bees around your ear, I felt like I had no choice but to say it. Now I know what people meant when they say, "I had no choice!" That's how it feels. Ganun pala.
This is my fate: learning things in the most hurting way. I'm so so hurt. I'd like to say that I brought this upon myself, but at that moment I had no choice. I had no choice. But maybe this is recompense for the past things I did, way back when I had a choice. But it doesn't matter. What matters is that I learned from this. And it won't happen again.