you may tire of me, as our december sun is setting
writing fiction.
kill yourself.
i do not want to do your silly marking period piece.
i do not want to do your silly prewrite sheet.
i do not want it on a boat.
or in a car.
or in my hand.
i do not want green eggs and ham.
{regressing to childhood much?}
my life exists between first block studio art class and saturday figure painting class. i think it's really cute and fun that figure painting sounds to similar to finger painting. which is usually what mine turn into. and now my hands all always dirty and encrusted with dried up paint and it makes me feel really cool because i'm really that stupid and shallow. i think shallow is the right word but maybe i'm wrong, that happens alot.
so guys, i'm trying this new thing where i'm very very narcassistic and pessimistic all the time and it's working out really well but i'm very quickly realizing that it isn't all that new so i'm thinking of starting another new thing called control over my life and trying to make myself closer to perfect. i hate imperfections, but i love run-on sentences, as so incredibly demonstrated in this entry.
there is so much about my life that excites me and makes my mood so much better. it's such a relief to finally be able to enjoy myself and not have that stupid insensible raincloud screwing everything up. there's still that pesky little problem with my body image, but i've accepted that it's here to stay and...i don't care.
what matters in my life right now:
making honor roll.
doing some serious work on a decent portfolio.
finding a real CAREER* to go with that involves art.
stop making the people i care about worried about my stupid problems. they are mine. not yours.
start being more understanding.
stop procrastinating.
be more active.
baking cookies for uncle junior because he loves them and i love him and he's dieing and deserves as much love as possible.
halloween costume.
christmas presents.
i love that my list is completely shallow and teenage like!!!!!!!instead of something like this-
not wanting to die
not self mutilating
not hating everything around me
not
not
not
not
not
no
no
no
no
stop
stop
stop
stop
DIE.
on the top of my real list? stay happy, and enjoy my life.
you may tire of me,
as our december sun is setting
cause i'm not who i used to be
no longer easy on the eyes
but these wrinkles masterfully disguise