(no subject)

[soneji]

why must i be cursed every night with a dream of him?
every night except the night i dreamed i was doing laundry with christian 
every fucking night
someone please take away my dreams 
if i wasnt so hung up on the wonderful memories 
it would be an eternal sunshine momment 
hes beautiful
hes lovely 
hes no longer mine
why can i not let go 
why is my grasp so tight

im so sick of commiting suicide.....