(no subject)
I have decided to limit who is able to read my LJ entries from now on. since I already had these filters in place, I might as well use them.
The pain I have experienced in the last few days is not abating, and I know now that I will not be ready to begin the healing process anytime soon. Having my life ripped to shreds by two of the people I have trusted the most, who have apparently been talking about it to other people in classes, where people not involved could hear...and have used my name in their entries...this is a type of betrayal that I never thought a true friend could bring about.
Kevin can vouch for me that neither of us have slept barely at all since Sunday, as he has spent most of the time trying to comfort me, and hold me while I've cried. If you really want to know how badly you've hurt me, call *him* and I'm sure he'll let you know.
If you have somehow been hurt by the fact that I actually stated that you hurt me, I'm sorry. Hopefully this will be a lesson to you for your future and current friends to benefit from. However, until the pain of what has been done to me stops, I will not be able to even consider learning how to trust anyone who has injured me again.
Call me jaded, call me cynical, tell me that my view is "tinted", but I don't think many realize the intensity of the pain I'm going through. I have always expected my friendships to be deep and lasting, and consequentially put a lot of time and effort into them. The friendships I made before coming to college have lasted...and the few that didn't did not end in this amount of pain. Never before has anyone I trusted done something like this to me, and in the future, consequentially, I will be more cautious and trust my instincts more.
This will be my last entry open to the general public for probably quite some time.
The pain I have experienced in the last few days is not abating, and I know now that I will not be ready to begin the healing process anytime soon. Having my life ripped to shreds by two of the people I have trusted the most, who have apparently been talking about it to other people in classes, where people not involved could hear...and have used my name in their entries...this is a type of betrayal that I never thought a true friend could bring about.
Kevin can vouch for me that neither of us have slept barely at all since Sunday, as he has spent most of the time trying to comfort me, and hold me while I've cried. If you really want to know how badly you've hurt me, call *him* and I'm sure he'll let you know.
If you have somehow been hurt by the fact that I actually stated that you hurt me, I'm sorry. Hopefully this will be a lesson to you for your future and current friends to benefit from. However, until the pain of what has been done to me stops, I will not be able to even consider learning how to trust anyone who has injured me again.
Call me jaded, call me cynical, tell me that my view is "tinted", but I don't think many realize the intensity of the pain I'm going through. I have always expected my friendships to be deep and lasting, and consequentially put a lot of time and effort into them. The friendships I made before coming to college have lasted...and the few that didn't did not end in this amount of pain. Never before has anyone I trusted done something like this to me, and in the future, consequentially, I will be more cautious and trust my instincts more.
This will be my last entry open to the general public for probably quite some time.