The C word
I've recently gone for my annual mammography check-up on 12 June. Followed by Dr's consultation on the result last week (28 June) at the National Cancer Centre (NCC).
In May, my sis couldn't clear her ultrasound on the ovaries, she was prepared to go for an operation to take out her womb. Thank God again, the tissues taken from her ovaries during the op proved benign and she saves her womb. My sis is 10 yrs my senior. My mum died of cancer at 40 yrs of age while I was 8 months old. My youngest SIL (Tenny's sis in HK) had her ovaries removed 3 yrs ago and recently, she had to go for another round of chemo and she's fine now).
I am writing to inform that I have cleared this time too, same as last year. Praise the Lord!
I have been going through this process since 2004, one year after my sis had a mastactomy. 2004 was my first mammogram at age 40 and I was called to do further tests at NCC. I did a long needle aspiration on my right breast. In 2005, again I needed to do retests and ultrasound, and I had a tru-cut biopsy. Both times I was cleared. Praise God!
Every year aorund May or June, I'll have a letter or call to remind me of my appointment at NCC.. And I really dread it! It's not so much the physical examination or the mammo, it is the waiting of the result! Every year when the date drew near, I lived the days with apprehension, and I couldn't help NOT thinking about it, I hate the feeling of having to put my life on hold, of having a baggage with a time bomb strapped to my body, just a matter of time before it explodes! I just canNOT leave it behind and move on! Whatever good news I have, be it achieving sales target and achieving Senior status, or accredited as Education Success Coach through stringent exams, or going for a short vacation, were pushed to negation. In fact, nowadays, nothing really excites me for long anymore. Whenever I am at the clinic, I just cannot ignore all these new pamphlets of information about cancer, even though you already have brought back some the year before, read through them, but dare not throw away ... even if I am not diagnosed yet ... and secretly chiding myself/panicky for not doing more in life, my son is still so young, or not being a good enough mother, or wife, or not enough finances, ... You know the feeling?
So during my doctor's consultation last week, I shared briefly how I felt. She was suggesting that she could refer me to another dept to go for this Genetic Testing. This DNA test is available (esp for those with family history of cancer) to test the tendency of having cancer cells. She added that it's compulsory to go for counselling first with the consultant Dr responsible as it may implicate insurance or even psychological/emotioanl issues. Esp in the West, where some women would go the drastic extent of removing healthy breasts/womb/ovaries even before cancer is diagnosed. And this testing is quite costly. The fact is, it is a test to show the percentage, with the result not being conclusive - meaning it just shows a percentage % tendency. For eg, even if the test shows < X % chance, it doesn't guarantee that you will not develope cancer cells in the long run. Coz in most cases, only 3 - 5% of cancer cases are due to family hsitory, while the rest, cancer struck even without family history.
Just now, I received a call from NCC that the consultation with this Genetic Test Dr is fixed 18 Jul. Honestly, when I first heard of this test from the Dr, I was so sure then that this is what I need to do to stop this yearly misery. But after talking to hubby and thinking more deeply about it, I am not so sure ... The ever pragmatic lou gong hit the nail by saying - you are just going to waste the $$ in exchange for more worry than peace of mind - coz with/without the test, it is still the safest to go for your yearly mammo check up and diagnose early than to cling on to some inconclusive results. Mmmm .. but the fact that there's such a test available means something isn't it? This C word is everywhere, what is God trying to tell me?
Should I or should I not go even for the consultation?
In May, my sis couldn't clear her ultrasound on the ovaries, she was prepared to go for an operation to take out her womb. Thank God again, the tissues taken from her ovaries during the op proved benign and she saves her womb. My sis is 10 yrs my senior. My mum died of cancer at 40 yrs of age while I was 8 months old. My youngest SIL (Tenny's sis in HK) had her ovaries removed 3 yrs ago and recently, she had to go for another round of chemo and she's fine now).
I am writing to inform that I have cleared this time too, same as last year. Praise the Lord!
I have been going through this process since 2004, one year after my sis had a mastactomy. 2004 was my first mammogram at age 40 and I was called to do further tests at NCC. I did a long needle aspiration on my right breast. In 2005, again I needed to do retests and ultrasound, and I had a tru-cut biopsy. Both times I was cleared. Praise God!
Every year aorund May or June, I'll have a letter or call to remind me of my appointment at NCC.. And I really dread it! It's not so much the physical examination or the mammo, it is the waiting of the result! Every year when the date drew near, I lived the days with apprehension, and I couldn't help NOT thinking about it, I hate the feeling of having to put my life on hold, of having a baggage with a time bomb strapped to my body, just a matter of time before it explodes! I just canNOT leave it behind and move on! Whatever good news I have, be it achieving sales target and achieving Senior status, or accredited as Education Success Coach through stringent exams, or going for a short vacation, were pushed to negation. In fact, nowadays, nothing really excites me for long anymore. Whenever I am at the clinic, I just cannot ignore all these new pamphlets of information about cancer, even though you already have brought back some the year before, read through them, but dare not throw away ... even if I am not diagnosed yet ... and secretly chiding myself/panicky for not doing more in life, my son is still so young, or not being a good enough mother, or wife, or not enough finances, ... You know the feeling?
So during my doctor's consultation last week, I shared briefly how I felt. She was suggesting that she could refer me to another dept to go for this Genetic Testing. This DNA test is available (esp for those with family history of cancer) to test the tendency of having cancer cells. She added that it's compulsory to go for counselling first with the consultant Dr responsible as it may implicate insurance or even psychological/emotioanl issues. Esp in the West, where some women would go the drastic extent of removing healthy breasts/womb/ovaries even before cancer is diagnosed. And this testing is quite costly. The fact is, it is a test to show the percentage, with the result not being conclusive - meaning it just shows a percentage % tendency. For eg, even if the test shows < X % chance, it doesn't guarantee that you will not develope cancer cells in the long run. Coz in most cases, only 3 - 5% of cancer cases are due to family hsitory, while the rest, cancer struck even without family history.
Just now, I received a call from NCC that the consultation with this Genetic Test Dr is fixed 18 Jul. Honestly, when I first heard of this test from the Dr, I was so sure then that this is what I need to do to stop this yearly misery. But after talking to hubby and thinking more deeply about it, I am not so sure ... The ever pragmatic lou gong hit the nail by saying - you are just going to waste the $$ in exchange for more worry than peace of mind - coz with/without the test, it is still the safest to go for your yearly mammo check up and diagnose early than to cling on to some inconclusive results. Mmmm .. but the fact that there's such a test available means something isn't it? This C word is everywhere, what is God trying to tell me?
Should I or should I not go even for the consultation?