LJ Idol Week 5: Bearing False Witness
I stood on my porch waiting for his car to come around the corner. "He's giving me driving lessons" I tell my mother, and she believes it. I never lie to anyone, but this lie comes easily. I knew what I was doing was wrong. I lie to myself and say that it's okay, that he is telling me the truth, but my heart knows differently.
It had been six months since I last saw him, but he looked as good as ever. I don't remember what he wore or smelled like, just that he was there, in the flesh, after I waited so long for him. I hadn't E-mailed him very much or talked to him on the phone at all. Still, I lied to myself and said I'd waited for him.
I hopped into the driver's seat of his car for my 'lesson' and headed in the direction that he told me. Less than a mile from my house, my lesson ended. I found myself in a hotel room, staring at "Cat Woman" on the tv. We made small talk about where he'd been, what he'd done while he was gone. He even went into detail about her. She was pretty, he told me. They were on the same boat and were good friends. He told me it meant nothing "just for the benefits". I knew this was a lie, but I had waited for him. He was mine first. I don't know how or why I did it, maybe I wanted to believe the lies. There's no excuse really, all I can say is that I did it. I slept with a married man.
"Dave's back in town" Mia told me a few days later.
"I know. He got married." I reply.
"Yeah, I met her. She's really nice" Mia says and my heart sinks.
"He's a jerk though, he tried to get me to hang out with him" I lie to my best friend, when I never have before. "I think he's trying to get me to sleep with him"
When he called the next day, I didn't answer.
I still talk to Dave occasionally. He told me about his new girlfriend, and I don't ask what happened to his wife. I know he cheated on her, because I was the first one. Asking would be silly, why should I care? I wonder if the women after me knew he was married too. I think about what a jerk he is, and how I probably helped her in the end. I bet she's glad she's not with him anymore. That's a lie too though, but it helps me sleep at night when I know in my heart, I'm not any better than him.
It had been six months since I last saw him, but he looked as good as ever. I don't remember what he wore or smelled like, just that he was there, in the flesh, after I waited so long for him. I hadn't E-mailed him very much or talked to him on the phone at all. Still, I lied to myself and said I'd waited for him.
I hopped into the driver's seat of his car for my 'lesson' and headed in the direction that he told me. Less than a mile from my house, my lesson ended. I found myself in a hotel room, staring at "Cat Woman" on the tv. We made small talk about where he'd been, what he'd done while he was gone. He even went into detail about her. She was pretty, he told me. They were on the same boat and were good friends. He told me it meant nothing "just for the benefits". I knew this was a lie, but I had waited for him. He was mine first. I don't know how or why I did it, maybe I wanted to believe the lies. There's no excuse really, all I can say is that I did it. I slept with a married man.
"Dave's back in town" Mia told me a few days later.
"I know. He got married." I reply.
"Yeah, I met her. She's really nice" Mia says and my heart sinks.
"He's a jerk though, he tried to get me to hang out with him" I lie to my best friend, when I never have before. "I think he's trying to get me to sleep with him"
When he called the next day, I didn't answer.
I still talk to Dave occasionally. He told me about his new girlfriend, and I don't ask what happened to his wife. I know he cheated on her, because I was the first one. Asking would be silly, why should I care? I wonder if the women after me knew he was married too. I think about what a jerk he is, and how I probably helped her in the end. I bet she's glad she's not with him anymore. That's a lie too though, but it helps me sleep at night when I know in my heart, I'm not any better than him.