I have a feeling God hates me.
Okay this is going to be my last post for a while. Unless some big shit happens or I get screwed.
I'm having exams. The big very important ones. And I'm really fucking scared. I'm so ill-prepared I can't even begin to believe it. And I hate myself for it. Nobody but me to blame. These are the exams I've been struggling with for years. After tons of re-sits, and dropping them for a year before I got sucked back in, I start on Tuesday to which might be my last chance at getting through. And did I mentioning how fuckin' ill-prepared I am for what is supposed to be the most difficult exams in the country? Ugh, I could kill myself.
Among other things, I had a huge blowup with family today. Told my aunt and her daughter off in ways you can't even imagine. But I was so fuckin' pissed off their shit. Been tolerating them for a while now. But the whole thing went way out of proportion. Major consequences coming right up. And with all the tension and craziness, this new extra tension isn't helping. In fact, I can't even fuckin' concentrate.
Erm, moving on, people, while my beliefs in God Almighty (yeah, right!) are pretty shaky right now, considering the shit that has been going on in my life for years now (read: all of the above + troubles with my mum's health and monetary ones and more familial ones and a full list of things that might actually take a year to list) maybe some of you are in the good with him. In which case, please, please, please pray for me and ask him to cut me an effin' break for once in my life and not screw me over with these exams. My problems will only become threefold of what they are now, and seriously, I don't think I can handle this whole shit anymore. So yeah, just please pray and ask him/her to for once, let me pass. I promise that even though I'm not completely prepared for this one, I'll definitely work on the ones after this.
Love you guys, *hugs*
I'm having exams. The big very important ones. And I'm really fucking scared. I'm so ill-prepared I can't even begin to believe it. And I hate myself for it. Nobody but me to blame. These are the exams I've been struggling with for years. After tons of re-sits, and dropping them for a year before I got sucked back in, I start on Tuesday to which might be my last chance at getting through. And did I mentioning how fuckin' ill-prepared I am for what is supposed to be the most difficult exams in the country? Ugh, I could kill myself.
Among other things, I had a huge blowup with family today. Told my aunt and her daughter off in ways you can't even imagine. But I was so fuckin' pissed off their shit. Been tolerating them for a while now. But the whole thing went way out of proportion. Major consequences coming right up. And with all the tension and craziness, this new extra tension isn't helping. In fact, I can't even fuckin' concentrate.
Erm, moving on, people, while my beliefs in God Almighty (yeah, right!) are pretty shaky right now, considering the shit that has been going on in my life for years now (read: all of the above + troubles with my mum's health and monetary ones and more familial ones and a full list of things that might actually take a year to list) maybe some of you are in the good with him. In which case, please, please, please pray for me and ask him to cut me an effin' break for once in my life and not screw me over with these exams. My problems will only become threefold of what they are now, and seriously, I don't think I can handle this whole shit anymore. So yeah, just please pray and ask him/her to for once, let me pass. I promise that even though I'm not completely prepared for this one, I'll definitely work on the ones after this.
Love you guys, *hugs*