A short fiction blurb
If i'd been asked beforehand if i'd fight death if i saw it coming, the answer was, "of course." I've known i've got too much too accomplish still, still too busy to be able to stop now.
At least i sincerely meant it at the time, but as i looked to see the car speeding towards me as i crossed the intersection, seeing the reflection of the red light between us on his windshield, though unfortunately not in his closed eyes, i realized i was wrong.
It was all so easy to shed. my commitments to my clubs, careers and desires all took the weight of an illusion, and fell away from me; and i knew that it wouldn't have really made a difference if it had been today or next year, this work that i had felt so committed to had just become my busy time, and i had spent the last years of my life just spinning my wheels, so that i could die at this moment doing the same thing.
And as the car hit my driver's side door, my desires and goals suddenly fell from me like the fluffy seeds of a dandelion into the wind. I had never noticed that the petals keeping me alive had died long ago, and i had already finished my life before the time it ended, just sitting and waiting for a strong enough breeze to come and sweep me away, and spread my worldly desires on the pavement all around me.
it felt good to lose the weight.
At least i sincerely meant it at the time, but as i looked to see the car speeding towards me as i crossed the intersection, seeing the reflection of the red light between us on his windshield, though unfortunately not in his closed eyes, i realized i was wrong.
It was all so easy to shed. my commitments to my clubs, careers and desires all took the weight of an illusion, and fell away from me; and i knew that it wouldn't have really made a difference if it had been today or next year, this work that i had felt so committed to had just become my busy time, and i had spent the last years of my life just spinning my wheels, so that i could die at this moment doing the same thing.
And as the car hit my driver's side door, my desires and goals suddenly fell from me like the fluffy seeds of a dandelion into the wind. I had never noticed that the petals keeping me alive had died long ago, and i had already finished my life before the time it ended, just sitting and waiting for a strong enough breeze to come and sweep me away, and spread my worldly desires on the pavement all around me.
it felt good to lose the weight.