(no subject)

Feb 17, 2007 20:47

well, it's been a pretty long absence, i know... i just really haven't had much to say. or, rather, i haven't felt there has been much point to put down in text the details of what has been occupying my life these past months. i never really look back on these journals, and doubt anything i say has much influence on anybody else, so whenever i've opened this update page it has sat idle while i've done other things.

shou...

i'm still in syria. still working on this photography guide to syria project i started almost one year ago, which is slowly nearly completion (well, the photography element of it, anyway). i have little doubt that i'm putting together the best and most comprehensive collection of photography for syria's sites, so i'm very proud of it. and most of those i've shared my photos with here in syria seem to really appreciate what i'm doing, which makes me happy. i still haven't uploaded any new photos... but at some point in the future there will be thousands of them up on my website.

since moving out of damascus the end of january, i've just been undertaking a final tour around syria. getting to a few sites i missed previously, and revisiting a few where i feel i could use some better photos. and, in addition, visiting friends around the country.

i was in aleppo for about ten days, with a short side-trip to al-raqqa to visit some sites in that region. i had a few memorable days... they generally involved lots of tea, invitations to peoples' homes, pleasant conversations, and strangers pulling over and giving me free rides (including once a taxi driver, who drove me 10km directly to my hotel, and refused to take any money).

i'm in lattakia at this very moment. i just returned from a lovely two-day hiking trip in the mountains and forest around kassab, near the mediterranean and the border with turkey. these hikes are organized by a local group, and usually about 200 people from around syria show up (with the occasional foreigner). they're mostly university age, so it is lots of fun. met some really nice people, as usual. and a really cute girl from homs. we'll see if anything comes of that... :)

there is one more hike around suweida in the end of march... probably around the time i'll be preparing to leave. perhaps a nice finish to my journey.

i am really, really, really, really, really not looking forward to returning to los angeles. a large part of this is because, as usual, i have no fucking clue what i'll do with myself once i'm back. no job set up (aside from working off some debts to my dad), not really sure where i'll live, and of course facing further alienation from my friends and family as none of whom have even the most remote understanding or comprehension of the place, history, culture, traditions and language i've been absorbed in for the last 14 months.

yani... at the same time i realize i can't be a traveler forever. and it seems that if i'm ever going to have a relationship with a syrian girl, i do need to establish some sort of stable life for myself. i've been here long enough and met enough syrian women to know my lifestyle isn't going to work with any of them. ;)

but, fuck... i'm really not sure what to do. i'm not a business-orientated person at all. i'm fairly miserable working jobs i feel are futile. i've done it before only because i was looking for a way to save money to travel, then leave. but none of those jobs ever came close to providing for a stable life, none of them provided prospects for the future. they paid bills and allowed me to pocket a few hundred dollars a month (by sacrificing my social life, generally). they were just jobs. and i want to find something i could be passionate about doing, but there isn't very much money in any of the things i feel i could be passionate about.

i can't say i'm always overwhelmed with joy being in syria. i do go through periods of loneliness. i do go through periods where i wish i wouldn't have to explain my political views so often (or continue giving excuses for you assholes that put people like bush into power). i do miss being able to pursue 'normal' relationships and not have to deal with all the obstacles traditional arab culture throws in the way.

but i'm very comfortable here. i really adore this country. the history and culture are fascinating and easy to be absorbed by, while the people never cease to amaze me with their generosity and hospitality. i love walking down streets that have existed for over 2,000 years, with little evidence of western-dominated globalism to pollute the scene. and i like the fact when i explain my political views to people, they're admired and appreciated rather than misunderstood due to widespread, self-imposed [and media reinforced] ignorance about the world.

really, i miss californian cuisine and punk shows more than anything else. syrian food is awesome, for sure, but not everyday. i'd even get tired of indian food everyday, and i love that stuff. of course i do miss my friends and family quite a bit, it's nothing that a short visit back to l.a. wouldn't satisfy.

this post shouldn't be misunderstood as a request for advice... in truth, i really don't like receiving advice. especially through the internet. i've noticed people here have a habit of thinking they understand a person even from rare, vague journal entries that are often composed as the result of specific moods. if you want to comment, don't tell me what you think i should do. because you don't know me (nobody on livejournal does), and it's not like i haven't considered my options. eventually i'll figure something out. though if anyone wants to donate to the Keep Daniel From Having to Return to the United States Fund, feel free to inquire. ;)

okay, i'm out to get some food.
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