Tim
Tomorrow should be awkward. Yay for spending a night doing all the things i would be more than thrilled to do with friends or with a guy i was interested in. Problem is im not interested in him, there isnt much in common, and the entire conversation is generated by me because try as i might i cant get him to say more than 3 sentences. And i cant deal with silence because there is far too much of it in my life.
But the real problem is that me in a bar and me in a pool hall isnt the best me to show a guy friend, esp when im trying to make sure he doesnt get the wrong impression. And half the fun of a pool hall is wearing something lowcut and seeing who hits on you. Which is exactly why generally its way more fun to go with girls. I know its silly but currently the only thing that keeps me going is the hope that maybe ill eventually have a guy of my own, and the only thing that supports the hope is the shallowness of getting hit on by strangers who ill never see or talk to again because thats the best i ever get, well that or being a long term regret.
So yup, going out with tim, where i get to entertain and seem like a total ditzy blonde because i talk constantly since i cant stand silence. And to top it all off its a reminder of the past, of better times when pool halls were always an interesting night.
And the real question is can i manage to wear a lowcut top without flirting or sending the wrong message while keeping myself from remembering the past.
But the real problem is that me in a bar and me in a pool hall isnt the best me to show a guy friend, esp when im trying to make sure he doesnt get the wrong impression. And half the fun of a pool hall is wearing something lowcut and seeing who hits on you. Which is exactly why generally its way more fun to go with girls. I know its silly but currently the only thing that keeps me going is the hope that maybe ill eventually have a guy of my own, and the only thing that supports the hope is the shallowness of getting hit on by strangers who ill never see or talk to again because thats the best i ever get, well that or being a long term regret.
So yup, going out with tim, where i get to entertain and seem like a total ditzy blonde because i talk constantly since i cant stand silence. And to top it all off its a reminder of the past, of better times when pool halls were always an interesting night.
And the real question is can i manage to wear a lowcut top without flirting or sending the wrong message while keeping myself from remembering the past.