(no subject)
vegas. vegas. las vomit.
so much weirdness. so much filth. so many geriatric gambling addicts. it was like being at a middle school lock-in, but in the bowels of some sort of neo-kitschy hell vortex. and that's just talking aesthetics.
i just wrote a lot about what else happened, but i really don't want to do that here. long story short: she still really cares about me and she still feels almost cripplingly guilty about what happened. at least when she's around me. and i feel really bad for her. it was almost 6 years ago and i'm well over it. and i was the "victim." so bizarre and so much perspective i lack to understand her. and she loves me very much, and i still love her very much, but i think she might still want me to be in love with her. and i could be very wrong, probably am, but i wouldn't say that if i didn't think it MIGHT be true.
i was left feeling really sad. for lots of reasons. but the big one is that when she's around me, i think she's just so overwhelmed with guilt that she starts to hold it against me. i just wanted to hang out with my friend.
bleh. no more over analyzing for now.
so much weirdness. so much filth. so many geriatric gambling addicts. it was like being at a middle school lock-in, but in the bowels of some sort of neo-kitschy hell vortex. and that's just talking aesthetics.
i just wrote a lot about what else happened, but i really don't want to do that here. long story short: she still really cares about me and she still feels almost cripplingly guilty about what happened. at least when she's around me. and i feel really bad for her. it was almost 6 years ago and i'm well over it. and i was the "victim." so bizarre and so much perspective i lack to understand her. and she loves me very much, and i still love her very much, but i think she might still want me to be in love with her. and i could be very wrong, probably am, but i wouldn't say that if i didn't think it MIGHT be true.
i was left feeling really sad. for lots of reasons. but the big one is that when she's around me, i think she's just so overwhelmed with guilt that she starts to hold it against me. i just wanted to hang out with my friend.
bleh. no more over analyzing for now.