the purpose was lost from the start

[somnusfable]

sitting thinking wondering
too much
not enough
where is the pay off anyways?
what part of me wants to go and what part wants to stay?
I need to know
so
I can
cut the
latter
out

is it not a funny thing
that things that go on
in ones own head
are not even understood
by oneself?

or how about this

drink spit gurgle
lap lap
sit and stare
at the nothing
that is over
right over
just over
there

can you see it?
I can
not

blank