Water
I look back at my entries, especially from 2019 and 2020, and wish with all my might to write like that again. To write like I did before I started dating a professional, published poet, before she dumped me, before I started worrying about the quality of my writing and whether or not any publisher would ever take my writing seriously. Before I started doubting my ability to write because I have no interest in learning syntax, or rules, or how to write. When I write, it flows from the depths of my soul like a river and the thought of placing parameters around it makes me want to break open the dam and let it all flood out.
Part of me, the part that drinks with my muse and flips the bird at anyone that says writing is only for those that study it, knows that I've been a writer for decades and that writing is one of the truest forms of being for me. When I just let myself write, I let myself rest, I let myself be, I let myself bleed and cry and laugh into the paper so much that it soaks me up and leaves a stain.
"Writing will be your salvation". The words were said to me in the middle of an intense conversation I can't even remember but they were so clear, so separate from everything we were talking about, that they felt like a cold splash of water on my face.
I once took a writing workshop that asked about our writing themes. Water is an overarching one for me. Water with the power to cleanse, soothe and destroy. I dip my feet in the ocean and feel the current against my ankles. I miss writing how I used to. I miss just being myself on paper so much and every time I do it feels like I've been handed a tall glass of water to quench my thirst. Even that sentance includes water.
Maybe my element right now is water, or maybe I'm just dehydrated. Let's go with both.
Part of me, the part that drinks with my muse and flips the bird at anyone that says writing is only for those that study it, knows that I've been a writer for decades and that writing is one of the truest forms of being for me. When I just let myself write, I let myself rest, I let myself be, I let myself bleed and cry and laugh into the paper so much that it soaks me up and leaves a stain.
"Writing will be your salvation". The words were said to me in the middle of an intense conversation I can't even remember but they were so clear, so separate from everything we were talking about, that they felt like a cold splash of water on my face.
I once took a writing workshop that asked about our writing themes. Water is an overarching one for me. Water with the power to cleanse, soothe and destroy. I dip my feet in the ocean and feel the current against my ankles. I miss writing how I used to. I miss just being myself on paper so much and every time I do it feels like I've been handed a tall glass of water to quench my thirst. Even that sentance includes water.
Maybe my element right now is water, or maybe I'm just dehydrated. Let's go with both.