(no subject)
This year has been kicking my ass. I feel like I've aged 20 years in the past 12 months. I've been really focusing on therapy and at least giving my demons a name. Fear, abandonment, terrible self esteem, bipolar depression. I am healing. I am my biggest project.
I feel like this year has been a symbolic shower, washing away layers of trauma and hurt. Sort of like a baptism, if you will. It's the year of personal growth and of flowers blooming, and moving to a new phase of my life. A phase where I've finally allowed myself to put down the baggage. It's blue with yellow straps, and it's being carried by someone who was very hurt and neglected when she was young, and who is finally allowing herself the chance to finally set it down. On a couch in a home that has big windows and natural light, and a full fridge with a family full of love. Because we can set down our pain but it doesn't mean it doesn't deserve compassion and a comfortable place to rest.
I've lost myself along the way and I'm ready to find her again. I'm Viviana and I like to write. I like playing WoW, and cooking, and surrounding myself with natural beauty. I like sitting in the blue hue of dusk, watching the colors dance in the sky as the sun sets. I like feeling the ocean breeze on my cheeks and the sand between my fingertips. I like the taste of chai in the mornings and I like to dance. My life is powered by music. I have my own family now. My fiance and my cat, and our family blanket.
I'll be alright.