(no subject)
and if there weren't enough reasons to feel insecure, now there's one more.
you know, i don't consider myself the most beautiful or magnificent woman in the world...and i have my faults...but everyone deserves to feel like they are something special. that they have won the heart of the person whom they love the most by simply being true to themselves and respectful. not always the case...
in fact, i have found that the more i love, the more space i give....and in turn, more often than not, my heart is in pieces on the floor at the end of it. it seems as though the more i let my open hearted/minded side out, the more i am taken advantage of and lied to. it seems that i have captured the interest of a few, but none confidant enough to bring an inked-to-the-nines tat artist home to the folks. i feel like sometimes i am typecasted as some sort of visual commoditity...like people expect me to be wild and crazy...all fun and games...in fact, i think i'm quite sensitive and kinda delicate, to be honest.
i have this fairy tale fantasy of being somebody's one and only true love...now, i don't believe that one is "destined" to be with another particular individual...but i have this hope of finding some one who admires and adores me...for who i am....and would never dream of taking my heart for a ride. i'm starting to think that this notion is somewhat of a pipe dream.
i dunno why i am rambling about this. perhaps it's my subconcious fishing for a compliment. but i don't think so...i'm fed up. i've put myself on the line one too many times. and am now jaded.
i'll say one thing though, it'd take one seriously amazing individual to melt me down again. i'm setting my standards higher than ever. and i won't settle for less.
goodnight night sky....i...feel sleep on it's way. and tears to mend a broken heart are not far away either.
you know, i don't consider myself the most beautiful or magnificent woman in the world...and i have my faults...but everyone deserves to feel like they are something special. that they have won the heart of the person whom they love the most by simply being true to themselves and respectful. not always the case...
in fact, i have found that the more i love, the more space i give....and in turn, more often than not, my heart is in pieces on the floor at the end of it. it seems as though the more i let my open hearted/minded side out, the more i am taken advantage of and lied to. it seems that i have captured the interest of a few, but none confidant enough to bring an inked-to-the-nines tat artist home to the folks. i feel like sometimes i am typecasted as some sort of visual commoditity...like people expect me to be wild and crazy...all fun and games...in fact, i think i'm quite sensitive and kinda delicate, to be honest.
i have this fairy tale fantasy of being somebody's one and only true love...now, i don't believe that one is "destined" to be with another particular individual...but i have this hope of finding some one who admires and adores me...for who i am....and would never dream of taking my heart for a ride. i'm starting to think that this notion is somewhat of a pipe dream.
i dunno why i am rambling about this. perhaps it's my subconcious fishing for a compliment. but i don't think so...i'm fed up. i've put myself on the line one too many times. and am now jaded.
i'll say one thing though, it'd take one seriously amazing individual to melt me down again. i'm setting my standards higher than ever. and i won't settle for less.
goodnight night sky....i...feel sleep on it's way. and tears to mend a broken heart are not far away either.