old shit posted
the below is the past liek 20 journal entries
enjoy if yould like ./
boo you whore...... your not worth the time and effort to "fuck" with... keep making the threats tho ,, they keep us all amused.... dirty.... wench... i can be 15 too. you jsut ry to make yourself classy by doing so..
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prettier days [Feb. 10th, 2006|09:58 pm]
jsut got back from picking up mike in portland. aparently his life is shitty nad im a good friend so i picked him up.... last nite i got lost in boston for like 5 hours it was awful awful awful. and now im waiting for tom to get home so i can leave and hang out wiht mike and relax.. ive been going to 2 hours of sleep the past 2 1/2 days.. that fucking blows//
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[Feb. 9th, 2006|06:55 pm]
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i just wanted everyone to know how pretty i am today... i like wearing green tee shirts... and i like looking liek a little dolls twin..
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yessah empire herei come [Feb. 7th, 2006|12:04 pm]
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I had an appointment to day with lauren at empire.. i walked in and she was like i want to introduce you to teh board of dirctors and she introduced herself and wanted to congradulate me PERSONALLY on being accepted to empire.. and we had this conversation abotu society and she holds me in high regards. and i will go places beaucs eof my attitude and passion towards the field... thats rite im the type of person that goes far in the field i guess.... hurrah im so awsome.. i start march 20 at 9 am.. im going full time and my projected graduation date is march 27 2007.. then i will bea real adult with a real career.... i love my life.. i guessits true if your a good person then good things will happen to you.. i just had to go though a horrible year to get here.
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[protected post] woow i suck at life [Feb. 1st, 2006|05:48 pm]
all of this occured to me today when i was in the shower.
this is how my wonder world would be.....
you would love me as much as i love you
you would call and say i miss you and i would know you mean it
you could be my best friend and my lover and my hero
i would be everything
i would be loved
i would listen as you spoke about things i didnt care about
i would compliment you as well as take yours with pride.
you would never say if,, yould jsut accept what is.
things that seem liek they matter wouldnt.. cause we love eachother
i would cook dinner and you would compliment my cooking
yould pay all the bills caus ei cant mange a checkbook, but you respect that and we make jokes to our firends
poker nite is on wensdays while i sip cosmos in the parlor and gossip about how much were all loved
i could paint your nails on a rainy day and yould enjoy it cause weld be together,
yould help me die my hair and even take emergency trips to sallys wiht me when im in tears.
our house would often shake and shift but our foundation always stays strong
you let me paint hte enitre house pink and then we decorate it with all oyur mismatch manly furniture
we go on dates and we stil enjoy each others company
when i say i love you i mean it
no other person could ever match you,, so cheating would be no problem
when i cry you cry too and we know when the other is sad.
my parents love you and you help my dad fix the furnace while i tell my mom about our fights..
but your jsut my best friend so i should stop daydreaming
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yeah [Jan. 30th, 2006|11:21 pm]
your so fucking lame. just do something illegal and go back to jail and stop writing about me.
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yessha [Jan. 27th, 2006|11:56 pm]
ummmm yeah never, and i do mean never,, wax your legs... i finished one and i was like okay thats not soooo bad,, then i started the other one, got half the leg done and then decided it was the single worst thing i have ever done, do me being retarded decided to see if my armpits hurt any less , yeah they start bleeding everywhere then i couldnt get the wax residue off and it made my pants stick to my legs and my armpits stick together, now everytime i move my arm my pits start stinging and i want to start crying.. again.... heather and i went shopping all day, i got this really beautiful tank top its brown and it has pink sequins on the front and its kinda cute,, ,i bought some cinderella fabric that says dear diary today i met prince charming and i am going to make curtsins out of it cause i dont like the curtains i have haanging now at my moms house. i also bought blinds and another laundry hamper basket.. also new eye makeup.. yeah my day was definently one of the best this week. i only spent 100 bux and i feel good about it.. i died my hair i neutralized all the red and black and its all ONE color.. yes believe that heather its not 500 different shades of the same family. i am so happy with the way my hair keeps turning out perfect.. now the rest of the short chunks jsut need to grow back and then ill be 100% (perfect).. i ve been watching alot of roseanne lately everynite melissa and i just watch episode after episode and i think i will most definently need to buy it on dvd if it ever comes out on series rite after i buy sex in the city complete set... hanging out with ashizzly tommorrow and sevie a little drink fest. and i have an apointment with the head of admissions at empire ont he 4th. my life is certainly progressing and for the first time in a while i can tell the people i love that im happy and not be completly lying. i love life....<3<3
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back off. [Jan. 20th, 2006|12:08 am]
my bffl is coming home ... he will arrive in manchester at 10:20 the happiest day of mine for a while... i adore him.. and oh how well drink soy products together..... oh im on cloud 757393745549864 .. that beats the hell out of cloud 9... ps back up off my shit.
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hairs [Jan. 17th, 2006|06:50 pm]
wicked bored...i took out all my hair today, wow , i didnt klnow hair could grow that much in jsut 3 months,, very excited. i had to put two wefts in the front jsut to cover the breakage but its all down to my shoulders and that makes me happy i guess. i think i may go to work for a few hours once tom gets home to relieve me of the child. i need the money so an extra 3 hours will help my situation considering mostly that theres nothing to do there and ild be doing the same thinga t work as at home. then ill go home for 2 hours then go to melissas house and watch a movie or something. i dunno today was tireing. i fell asleep for a few hours. watched madgascar with the boy and now im jsut sitting at the computer and waiting to leave. i dont feel fabulous and super modelish without so much hair and my head feels sooo much lighter. but i look adorable and emoish, ,so i cant complain. i jsut want the short chunks to grow otu so i can have long real hair, then ill be amazing.
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lovin you is os easy cause your beautiful [Jan. 14th, 2006|11:45 pm]
sometimes i think i jsut really wish i had done things differently. then again without the things that have happened in the past year, im sure i would be entirely a different person... i know that being friends with the people i have in my life now but back then would have eliminated a lot of the problems ive had. i jsut wish i had gotten closer to these people sooner rather then after all the bullshit of my life spun out of control and smacked everyone i loved in the face. i couldve avoided fucking a lot of people over. and to that i say ..... yes its a shitty thing to do, to fuck people over..but... I COME FIRST... no i have to challenge in admitting that i am self centered. even when i am seeming completely selfless there is always a part of me that is benifitting.. and that is human nature not being bitchy...whatever. i just wish that i could have seen some differently rather then me giving my heart to the world and being emotionally handicapped afterwards.... but then i think about it hardy and i really start to pick it apart and im semi glad it all happened. it has made me strong,. which is somehting ive always had but never had any reason for having it.,,, now im stronger then iw as before and i know where i messed up in trusting people wiht my life.. ive grown to realize that some people can never change no matter how much they say they have... i knwo signs to look for and how to avoid these people. and i am not saying that i am any better cause i know that during the time i was no better then any one.. but im better now cause i cna realzie what happend and what i did wrong and i can use that to my own advantage and really treat myself the way ive been wanting to be treated by others. there is no love like the love you can give yourself. and thats always the strongest.
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.... [Jan. 11th, 2006|06:40 pm]
oh how i want to be loved too.
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wow you suck [Jan. 11th, 2006|04:47 pm]
wow .... interesting nite...... heather and i rock and we are secret agents now ive jsut declared..... quite nite tonite,, melissa gets out of work at 12 then were cooking dinner and watching movies and cuddling on the couch.. heather and i are goign to Ct and NY next weekend to visit chris and i really need to buy a new belt ,, heather does now too im goign to finish up with my hair now, and maybe eat somehtign my tummy kinda hurts... why do i suck at life so much.
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typing a paper. [Jan. 9th, 2006|05:48 pm]
kate and i are discussing how i type so fast and dont need to look at the keyboard when i am high, being high is the best when your typing cause if i was typing a paper rite now, i wouldnt be pissed hta ti had to type paper cause ild be high and then i would jsut like typing cause its funa nd fast. therefore in my defense typing a paper would be best when high... being high is the best.... that story was so pointless.
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picture that [Jan. 9th, 2006|05:07 pm]
I took new pcitures today,, im such a hoe.
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yup [Jan. 9th, 2006|03:28 pm]
... but this is the way i want to suffer.... in pain..... alone.. .. all alone....suffering... but not under this. weight. .... ... vomit.... alone... suffering.... alone.... forever.... yes..
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broke [Jan. 8th, 2006|06:23 pm]
yup.. bored. my hair is fried. and it seems that hair that is not origignally mine dies really quick like 3 weeks after i put it in. lame assand it needs to be died and the tracks need to be laid back in.... i havent been on a datye in liek a month it i sso lame and i am really horny and i jsut am not having any ambition to meet new people so my social /dating life is non exsistant. im sure the rite on will come along soon,, or someday,. ill probably already be dead before that happpens. garrr.r i might be buying my friend lindas infinity from her, its pretty nice its only a 95 but it lools way newer then my car and its not a buick which im trying not to get. and shell sell it to me for 500 down a nd 100 a month payments fora total of 1000 so its a pretty good deal. i was supposed toget my pther foot tattoted yesterday and work on my arm but randi had a party to go to...... i need new friends or more firends period, i used to be so social and i always had so many poeple around me and wanteing to do things then i turned crazy and started having anxiety attacks and now i cant talk to anyone,,, i need ot break out of that habbit. grossss. need a new cell phone mine is still broken.
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sucking [Jan. 5th, 2006|04:58 pm]
BLAH. i dunno,. im bored and my stomach kinda hurts ... nothing to do toite after work,. still my car is being used by kim...... might go back into work later. i probably suck at life or something.....
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[Jan. 3rd, 2006|10:20 pm]
dear you know who....you are......
did you get oyur electricity yet? i didnt think so.....anways..... found otu some hillarious news today. someone wasnt such a grown up when they fall 2 monthes behind on rent.... nono...or steals peoples cable boxes....whatnots......i am going to go laugh again... and tell everyone about it.... so you look like the stupid one .... for a change...love me.
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[Jan. 3rd, 2006|03:48 pm]
a few days late but lets see whats in store..
2005
lost IT
started the affair.
lost a few more friends
graduated.
drank too much
stoner
bad apartment
bad roomate
crazy best freind
two bad accidents
two cars
5 monthes without driving
myspace aholic
slut
too many trips to store 24
moved to dover
nanny position
mml
ccs
melissa
jonelle
mike
york kids
hair
tons of hair
vermont
kids
fell in and shortly fell out of love
started god relationship wiht my parents
got excepted to model for OPD
got invited to do movie documentary
blew them both off
reformed old friendships
to many drugs
sober-ing up
kima nd tom
jager bombs
partys on ham street
cats dogs and birds
gained 35 lbs
bought new clothes
new ink
redid some old
33,000 miles on betty
BFFL<3
real eyebrows
turned into an asspireing super model..
yeah my year pretty much kicked ass. except that period of sucking when i lived with hoebag. <3
looing forward to the newest bullshti i must encounter.
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better then , then [Dec. 27th, 2005|06:01 pm]
going to dinner at the toast wiht my sissy. wat hed the kid for a few hours getting paid 3 times this week., getting my feet tattooed on saturday and working on my arm and bird. new jewelery on wensday, this is by far the best holiday season ever. finally my life is back on track and good things are happening in my life and i am more then thankful.i really do beleive now that if you do good things for people good things will happen for oyu as well. and that provesd to be more and more true everyday,. i really like life now... so many months ago i wanted to jsut run away and start over and im glad now i didnt , i stuck through physcos, apartments, unemployment. broken hearts. hair falling out, and now im jsut happy and ready to accomplish so many more things next year.... maybe school... and im still better then you.... you know it too.
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super deal [Dec. 26th, 2005|02:34 pm]
wow today is crazy shopping day at the mall. i got a 50 dollar gift card to victorias secret from tommy boys cousin an di got 75 dollars worth of love spell stuff and i only paid 25 bux, super deal, that makes me so happy. im sure there was tons of other shit i couldve bought today but hte mall was sooooo packed that i jsut had to leave after victorias secret i started having an anxiety attack,. grosss. now home shower , high. lord of the rings party at melissas. yay .
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um yeah [Dec. 19th, 2005|04:49 pm]
so lets go back to that time hwen i moved out of my apartment. i left in such a rush that i left most of my posssesions including tons of movies cable boxes furniture and dishes/ kitchen shit. yet somehow i managed to steal stephs valuables and other peoples dvds. yup thats rite i wasted my time doing that. nono steph perhaps it was your creepy/sketchy friends that steal from you. or maybe your just trying to cause problems for me again. i gues sits jsut good people believe me cause im not fucking crazy and a liar. so thank you kristen. nor taking my word.<3 i adore you.
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suck that [Dec. 13th, 2005|05:27 pm]
im wicked sick. my head hurts and it is painful when i breath. my lungs are caving in,. oh god i suck at life. im really bored i have no money and i can barely keep my eyes open rite now cause my body is exhausted. tom gets home in about an hour and a half and i think i might just call it an early nite and pass the fuck out. oh dear . why am i always dieing. melissa and i had a great time last nite. we stayed up till jonelle got home and she was trashed and we talked to her about being trashed and retoled funny past stories together i love my firends. were oh so very cool. i fixed my front track today thats about as productive as ive gotten all day long im mad lazy today,. i think i am finally dieing. i hope i dont have to go to work tommorrow. that would be most awsome. not that i would be able to tell if i did need to go in cause my phone is dead and rob wouldnt be able to get hold of me anyways. yup . i suck.
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oh linda [Dec. 6th, 2005|02:21 pm]
jsut got a terribler phone call. my friend linda got ina bad accident on friday and she hit her eye on the steering wheel and shes going to loose viison in that eye. shes int eh icu rite now for another 48 hours and steve told me to cal lehr around 5. that make me feel terrible for her. the poor woman has had hte worst past month and now shes gonna be blind. oh dear. i need to call her today.
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boys [Dec. 1st, 2005|02:54 pm]
what do i do with this guy. i picked him up last nite.... sober.... surprised...... and he tells me that he cant stop thinking of me and he wants to say i lvoe oyu but he cant because hes with the other and that would be wrong, then we have sex and he says im just not that guy you want and all i want is you. and now i am conflicted. ive blocked him from my memeory for weeks and all of a sudden hes ... back... and i cnat deal with all of this..... sadness...... i need a drink....
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life as i know it now . [Nov. 29th, 2005|08:39 pm]
nad so i had this dream once where i was in my mothers bed and i was crying and begging her to tell me about him and as she started to poor out her truth the threads connecting her lips got thicker and her words less and less disticnt. i then realized that, that portion of my life and him is all just one huge mystery and i will never know him. i recall this as a sign that some things are never ment to be known.
im bored and im sitting here and there is nothing to do, no one to play with. everyone has such funner lives i guess it count hurt though to sit at home for a nite or two and take it easy. i dunno tuesdays are always stupid anyways. im still waiting for perfection. and i dont really care anymore if i find it or not. its really that far from my brain. im happy to say i ended a two month stint with HIM and thats finally over. i guess thats one step in my life im taking rite. i dunno what i want to do with the next series of events. maybe find someone new......... another him to write about........ so fucking sad......
my hair still looks amazing. megan did an amazing job. ive been adding more wefts in myself trying to see what looks more natural and such but the color is amazing. tom the kid brian and i are all puttering around and chillin out drinking canadian beer and making fun of that boy and its pretty. i think ive found my happy medium.
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grabbleing [Nov. 29th, 2005|04:56 pm]
..........................................but i dont htink i would ever change where ive been and what ive seen and whove i needed to fuck over to get ahead with my own life. does that really make a shitty person. because YES i am selfish and rude and a cunt. who rally cares anyways.....................................
enjoy if yould like ./
boo you whore...... your not worth the time and effort to "fuck" with... keep making the threats tho ,, they keep us all amused.... dirty.... wench... i can be 15 too. you jsut ry to make yourself classy by doing so..
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prettier days [Feb. 10th, 2006|09:58 pm]
jsut got back from picking up mike in portland. aparently his life is shitty nad im a good friend so i picked him up.... last nite i got lost in boston for like 5 hours it was awful awful awful. and now im waiting for tom to get home so i can leave and hang out wiht mike and relax.. ive been going to 2 hours of sleep the past 2 1/2 days.. that fucking blows//
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[Feb. 9th, 2006|06:55 pm]
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i just wanted everyone to know how pretty i am today... i like wearing green tee shirts... and i like looking liek a little dolls twin..
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yessah empire herei come [Feb. 7th, 2006|12:04 pm]
[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]
I had an appointment to day with lauren at empire.. i walked in and she was like i want to introduce you to teh board of dirctors and she introduced herself and wanted to congradulate me PERSONALLY on being accepted to empire.. and we had this conversation abotu society and she holds me in high regards. and i will go places beaucs eof my attitude and passion towards the field... thats rite im the type of person that goes far in the field i guess.... hurrah im so awsome.. i start march 20 at 9 am.. im going full time and my projected graduation date is march 27 2007.. then i will bea real adult with a real career.... i love my life.. i guessits true if your a good person then good things will happen to you.. i just had to go though a horrible year to get here.
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[protected post] woow i suck at life [Feb. 1st, 2006|05:48 pm]
all of this occured to me today when i was in the shower.
this is how my wonder world would be.....
you would love me as much as i love you
you would call and say i miss you and i would know you mean it
you could be my best friend and my lover and my hero
i would be everything
i would be loved
i would listen as you spoke about things i didnt care about
i would compliment you as well as take yours with pride.
you would never say if,, yould jsut accept what is.
things that seem liek they matter wouldnt.. cause we love eachother
i would cook dinner and you would compliment my cooking
yould pay all the bills caus ei cant mange a checkbook, but you respect that and we make jokes to our firends
poker nite is on wensdays while i sip cosmos in the parlor and gossip about how much were all loved
i could paint your nails on a rainy day and yould enjoy it cause weld be together,
yould help me die my hair and even take emergency trips to sallys wiht me when im in tears.
our house would often shake and shift but our foundation always stays strong
you let me paint hte enitre house pink and then we decorate it with all oyur mismatch manly furniture
we go on dates and we stil enjoy each others company
when i say i love you i mean it
no other person could ever match you,, so cheating would be no problem
when i cry you cry too and we know when the other is sad.
my parents love you and you help my dad fix the furnace while i tell my mom about our fights..
but your jsut my best friend so i should stop daydreaming
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yeah [Jan. 30th, 2006|11:21 pm]
your so fucking lame. just do something illegal and go back to jail and stop writing about me.
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yessha [Jan. 27th, 2006|11:56 pm]
ummmm yeah never, and i do mean never,, wax your legs... i finished one and i was like okay thats not soooo bad,, then i started the other one, got half the leg done and then decided it was the single worst thing i have ever done, do me being retarded decided to see if my armpits hurt any less , yeah they start bleeding everywhere then i couldnt get the wax residue off and it made my pants stick to my legs and my armpits stick together, now everytime i move my arm my pits start stinging and i want to start crying.. again.... heather and i went shopping all day, i got this really beautiful tank top its brown and it has pink sequins on the front and its kinda cute,, ,i bought some cinderella fabric that says dear diary today i met prince charming and i am going to make curtsins out of it cause i dont like the curtains i have haanging now at my moms house. i also bought blinds and another laundry hamper basket.. also new eye makeup.. yeah my day was definently one of the best this week. i only spent 100 bux and i feel good about it.. i died my hair i neutralized all the red and black and its all ONE color.. yes believe that heather its not 500 different shades of the same family. i am so happy with the way my hair keeps turning out perfect.. now the rest of the short chunks jsut need to grow back and then ill be 100% (perfect).. i ve been watching alot of roseanne lately everynite melissa and i just watch episode after episode and i think i will most definently need to buy it on dvd if it ever comes out on series rite after i buy sex in the city complete set... hanging out with ashizzly tommorrow and sevie a little drink fest. and i have an apointment with the head of admissions at empire ont he 4th. my life is certainly progressing and for the first time in a while i can tell the people i love that im happy and not be completly lying. i love life....<3<3
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back off. [Jan. 20th, 2006|12:08 am]
my bffl is coming home ... he will arrive in manchester at 10:20 the happiest day of mine for a while... i adore him.. and oh how well drink soy products together..... oh im on cloud 757393745549864 .. that beats the hell out of cloud 9... ps back up off my shit.
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hairs [Jan. 17th, 2006|06:50 pm]
wicked bored...i took out all my hair today, wow , i didnt klnow hair could grow that much in jsut 3 months,, very excited. i had to put two wefts in the front jsut to cover the breakage but its all down to my shoulders and that makes me happy i guess. i think i may go to work for a few hours once tom gets home to relieve me of the child. i need the money so an extra 3 hours will help my situation considering mostly that theres nothing to do there and ild be doing the same thinga t work as at home. then ill go home for 2 hours then go to melissas house and watch a movie or something. i dunno today was tireing. i fell asleep for a few hours. watched madgascar with the boy and now im jsut sitting at the computer and waiting to leave. i dont feel fabulous and super modelish without so much hair and my head feels sooo much lighter. but i look adorable and emoish, ,so i cant complain. i jsut want the short chunks to grow otu so i can have long real hair, then ill be amazing.
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lovin you is os easy cause your beautiful [Jan. 14th, 2006|11:45 pm]
sometimes i think i jsut really wish i had done things differently. then again without the things that have happened in the past year, im sure i would be entirely a different person... i know that being friends with the people i have in my life now but back then would have eliminated a lot of the problems ive had. i jsut wish i had gotten closer to these people sooner rather then after all the bullshit of my life spun out of control and smacked everyone i loved in the face. i couldve avoided fucking a lot of people over. and to that i say ..... yes its a shitty thing to do, to fuck people over..but... I COME FIRST... no i have to challenge in admitting that i am self centered. even when i am seeming completely selfless there is always a part of me that is benifitting.. and that is human nature not being bitchy...whatever. i just wish that i could have seen some differently rather then me giving my heart to the world and being emotionally handicapped afterwards.... but then i think about it hardy and i really start to pick it apart and im semi glad it all happened. it has made me strong,. which is somehting ive always had but never had any reason for having it.,,, now im stronger then iw as before and i know where i messed up in trusting people wiht my life.. ive grown to realize that some people can never change no matter how much they say they have... i knwo signs to look for and how to avoid these people. and i am not saying that i am any better cause i know that during the time i was no better then any one.. but im better now cause i cna realzie what happend and what i did wrong and i can use that to my own advantage and really treat myself the way ive been wanting to be treated by others. there is no love like the love you can give yourself. and thats always the strongest.
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.... [Jan. 11th, 2006|06:40 pm]
oh how i want to be loved too.
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wow you suck [Jan. 11th, 2006|04:47 pm]
wow .... interesting nite...... heather and i rock and we are secret agents now ive jsut declared..... quite nite tonite,, melissa gets out of work at 12 then were cooking dinner and watching movies and cuddling on the couch.. heather and i are goign to Ct and NY next weekend to visit chris and i really need to buy a new belt ,, heather does now too im goign to finish up with my hair now, and maybe eat somehtign my tummy kinda hurts... why do i suck at life so much.
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typing a paper. [Jan. 9th, 2006|05:48 pm]
kate and i are discussing how i type so fast and dont need to look at the keyboard when i am high, being high is the best when your typing cause if i was typing a paper rite now, i wouldnt be pissed hta ti had to type paper cause ild be high and then i would jsut like typing cause its funa nd fast. therefore in my defense typing a paper would be best when high... being high is the best.... that story was so pointless.
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picture that [Jan. 9th, 2006|05:07 pm]
I took new pcitures today,, im such a hoe.
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yup [Jan. 9th, 2006|03:28 pm]
... but this is the way i want to suffer.... in pain..... alone.. .. all alone....suffering... but not under this. weight. .... ... vomit.... alone... suffering.... alone.... forever.... yes..
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broke [Jan. 8th, 2006|06:23 pm]
yup.. bored. my hair is fried. and it seems that hair that is not origignally mine dies really quick like 3 weeks after i put it in. lame assand it needs to be died and the tracks need to be laid back in.... i havent been on a datye in liek a month it i sso lame and i am really horny and i jsut am not having any ambition to meet new people so my social /dating life is non exsistant. im sure the rite on will come along soon,, or someday,. ill probably already be dead before that happpens. garrr.r i might be buying my friend lindas infinity from her, its pretty nice its only a 95 but it lools way newer then my car and its not a buick which im trying not to get. and shell sell it to me for 500 down a nd 100 a month payments fora total of 1000 so its a pretty good deal. i was supposed toget my pther foot tattoted yesterday and work on my arm but randi had a party to go to...... i need new friends or more firends period, i used to be so social and i always had so many poeple around me and wanteing to do things then i turned crazy and started having anxiety attacks and now i cant talk to anyone,,, i need ot break out of that habbit. grossss. need a new cell phone mine is still broken.
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sucking [Jan. 5th, 2006|04:58 pm]
BLAH. i dunno,. im bored and my stomach kinda hurts ... nothing to do toite after work,. still my car is being used by kim...... might go back into work later. i probably suck at life or something.....
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[Jan. 3rd, 2006|10:20 pm]
dear you know who....you are......
did you get oyur electricity yet? i didnt think so.....anways..... found otu some hillarious news today. someone wasnt such a grown up when they fall 2 monthes behind on rent.... nono...or steals peoples cable boxes....whatnots......i am going to go laugh again... and tell everyone about it.... so you look like the stupid one .... for a change...love me.
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[Jan. 3rd, 2006|03:48 pm]
a few days late but lets see whats in store..
2005
lost IT
started the affair.
lost a few more friends
graduated.
drank too much
stoner
bad apartment
bad roomate
crazy best freind
two bad accidents
two cars
5 monthes without driving
myspace aholic
slut
too many trips to store 24
moved to dover
nanny position
mml
ccs
melissa
jonelle
mike
york kids
hair
tons of hair
vermont
kids
fell in and shortly fell out of love
started god relationship wiht my parents
got excepted to model for OPD
got invited to do movie documentary
blew them both off
reformed old friendships
to many drugs
sober-ing up
kima nd tom
jager bombs
partys on ham street
cats dogs and birds
gained 35 lbs
bought new clothes
new ink
redid some old
33,000 miles on betty
BFFL<3
real eyebrows
turned into an asspireing super model..
yeah my year pretty much kicked ass. except that period of sucking when i lived with hoebag. <3
looing forward to the newest bullshti i must encounter.
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better then , then [Dec. 27th, 2005|06:01 pm]
going to dinner at the toast wiht my sissy. wat hed the kid for a few hours getting paid 3 times this week., getting my feet tattooed on saturday and working on my arm and bird. new jewelery on wensday, this is by far the best holiday season ever. finally my life is back on track and good things are happening in my life and i am more then thankful.i really do beleive now that if you do good things for people good things will happen for oyu as well. and that provesd to be more and more true everyday,. i really like life now... so many months ago i wanted to jsut run away and start over and im glad now i didnt , i stuck through physcos, apartments, unemployment. broken hearts. hair falling out, and now im jsut happy and ready to accomplish so many more things next year.... maybe school... and im still better then you.... you know it too.
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super deal [Dec. 26th, 2005|02:34 pm]
wow today is crazy shopping day at the mall. i got a 50 dollar gift card to victorias secret from tommy boys cousin an di got 75 dollars worth of love spell stuff and i only paid 25 bux, super deal, that makes me so happy. im sure there was tons of other shit i couldve bought today but hte mall was sooooo packed that i jsut had to leave after victorias secret i started having an anxiety attack,. grosss. now home shower , high. lord of the rings party at melissas. yay .
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um yeah [Dec. 19th, 2005|04:49 pm]
so lets go back to that time hwen i moved out of my apartment. i left in such a rush that i left most of my posssesions including tons of movies cable boxes furniture and dishes/ kitchen shit. yet somehow i managed to steal stephs valuables and other peoples dvds. yup thats rite i wasted my time doing that. nono steph perhaps it was your creepy/sketchy friends that steal from you. or maybe your just trying to cause problems for me again. i gues sits jsut good people believe me cause im not fucking crazy and a liar. so thank you kristen. nor taking my word.<3 i adore you.
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suck that [Dec. 13th, 2005|05:27 pm]
im wicked sick. my head hurts and it is painful when i breath. my lungs are caving in,. oh god i suck at life. im really bored i have no money and i can barely keep my eyes open rite now cause my body is exhausted. tom gets home in about an hour and a half and i think i might just call it an early nite and pass the fuck out. oh dear . why am i always dieing. melissa and i had a great time last nite. we stayed up till jonelle got home and she was trashed and we talked to her about being trashed and retoled funny past stories together i love my firends. were oh so very cool. i fixed my front track today thats about as productive as ive gotten all day long im mad lazy today,. i think i am finally dieing. i hope i dont have to go to work tommorrow. that would be most awsome. not that i would be able to tell if i did need to go in cause my phone is dead and rob wouldnt be able to get hold of me anyways. yup . i suck.
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oh linda [Dec. 6th, 2005|02:21 pm]
jsut got a terribler phone call. my friend linda got ina bad accident on friday and she hit her eye on the steering wheel and shes going to loose viison in that eye. shes int eh icu rite now for another 48 hours and steve told me to cal lehr around 5. that make me feel terrible for her. the poor woman has had hte worst past month and now shes gonna be blind. oh dear. i need to call her today.
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boys [Dec. 1st, 2005|02:54 pm]
what do i do with this guy. i picked him up last nite.... sober.... surprised...... and he tells me that he cant stop thinking of me and he wants to say i lvoe oyu but he cant because hes with the other and that would be wrong, then we have sex and he says im just not that guy you want and all i want is you. and now i am conflicted. ive blocked him from my memeory for weeks and all of a sudden hes ... back... and i cnat deal with all of this..... sadness...... i need a drink....
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life as i know it now . [Nov. 29th, 2005|08:39 pm]
nad so i had this dream once where i was in my mothers bed and i was crying and begging her to tell me about him and as she started to poor out her truth the threads connecting her lips got thicker and her words less and less disticnt. i then realized that, that portion of my life and him is all just one huge mystery and i will never know him. i recall this as a sign that some things are never ment to be known.
im bored and im sitting here and there is nothing to do, no one to play with. everyone has such funner lives i guess it count hurt though to sit at home for a nite or two and take it easy. i dunno tuesdays are always stupid anyways. im still waiting for perfection. and i dont really care anymore if i find it or not. its really that far from my brain. im happy to say i ended a two month stint with HIM and thats finally over. i guess thats one step in my life im taking rite. i dunno what i want to do with the next series of events. maybe find someone new......... another him to write about........ so fucking sad......
my hair still looks amazing. megan did an amazing job. ive been adding more wefts in myself trying to see what looks more natural and such but the color is amazing. tom the kid brian and i are all puttering around and chillin out drinking canadian beer and making fun of that boy and its pretty. i think ive found my happy medium.
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grabbleing [Nov. 29th, 2005|04:56 pm]
..........................................but i dont htink i would ever change where ive been and what ive seen and whove i needed to fuck over to get ahead with my own life. does that really make a shitty person. because YES i am selfish and rude and a cunt. who rally cares anyways.....................................