(no subject)
there is no "right answer" out there for any question or obstacle i come to. i think that i need to learn how to decide when i think something is right or wrong for me. i know that time has a way of making everything alright, and thanks to a certain friend, i'll always remember that "even though something hurts now, it's not going to hurt in a year, or two years" and even though i've lost touch with that friend i'm always going to remember that. maybe it's just because high school is over. maybe it's because of other things that are going on right now, but i just feel really alone. i wish i was friends with more people from school, i think that is my biggest regret. i wish i branched out more. and i don't mean i wish i talked to more people, because i'm aquainted with so many people, i just wish i got to know them better. it is never to late, i guess.
i bought this book yesterday while andrea kyla and i were in port jeff during 5th period at this cute bookstore. it's called '14,000 things to be happy about' and it was on display almost right when i walked in. it was there just for me i feel like. so the book is just a list of 14000 things that make author happy, such as cookie cutters, the position of a person's head when they eat a taco, friends calling you when you're sick to see how you're doing, the nickname "boo boo", i think you get the point. it's cute, i like it.
i only have 8 hours at work this week which really sucks. i need a new job. i can't wait to start my camp job, that will add an extra 17.5 hours a week and it will be funnnn.
anyway, back to graduation and things. i don't know, growing up just scares me. i'm not scared to go away to school i don't think. i'm not even going away far, it's only like 45 min. does that make me a baby? does the amount of minutes away from home you are make you more mature? i don't think so. it's dumb, atleast i'm living away from home. i think it will be good for me. i feel really sad about leaving high school. i don't know what else to say. i'm hoping that things will work out this summer and that i will have a summery summer filled with things like the beach and swimming and day trips and sunburn and driving with the windows down and ice cream trucks and you know, things like that.
i think that i'm just really confused. i need some stability and someone to keep me in line and say "hey, you're going to be okay and everything will work out" but i can't seem to find that anywhere. i need to stop worrying about if everyone else is okay because i've been neglecting myself, which is weird to say but true. my brother told me that the most important thing is to do what i can for myself and let everyone else deal with their own stuff. he's right, and as selfish as it might sound it's really not selfish at all. it's better. if people need other people to fix all their problems for them all the time then they are never going to learn how to deal with anything on their own. that's just sad. i think i'm done now.
i bought this book yesterday while andrea kyla and i were in port jeff during 5th period at this cute bookstore. it's called '14,000 things to be happy about' and it was on display almost right when i walked in. it was there just for me i feel like. so the book is just a list of 14000 things that make author happy, such as cookie cutters, the position of a person's head when they eat a taco, friends calling you when you're sick to see how you're doing, the nickname "boo boo", i think you get the point. it's cute, i like it.
i only have 8 hours at work this week which really sucks. i need a new job. i can't wait to start my camp job, that will add an extra 17.5 hours a week and it will be funnnn.
anyway, back to graduation and things. i don't know, growing up just scares me. i'm not scared to go away to school i don't think. i'm not even going away far, it's only like 45 min. does that make me a baby? does the amount of minutes away from home you are make you more mature? i don't think so. it's dumb, atleast i'm living away from home. i think it will be good for me. i feel really sad about leaving high school. i don't know what else to say. i'm hoping that things will work out this summer and that i will have a summery summer filled with things like the beach and swimming and day trips and sunburn and driving with the windows down and ice cream trucks and you know, things like that.
i think that i'm just really confused. i need some stability and someone to keep me in line and say "hey, you're going to be okay and everything will work out" but i can't seem to find that anywhere. i need to stop worrying about if everyone else is okay because i've been neglecting myself, which is weird to say but true. my brother told me that the most important thing is to do what i can for myself and let everyone else deal with their own stuff. he's right, and as selfish as it might sound it's really not selfish at all. it's better. if people need other people to fix all their problems for them all the time then they are never going to learn how to deal with anything on their own. that's just sad. i think i'm done now.