(no subject)
at what point did i lose control? cracking a smile used to come alot easier to me. i feel too empty inside to care about the things i once cared about. this apathy im feeling is no fun. its not like im slacking on responsibilties or anyting, i just dont know who i am anymore. i dont know what i want..and worst of all, i have no idea what i am capable of. something isnt right, i feel it. i just hope i can hold on long enough until i can figure out how to make stuff better inside of me. all i need is one certainty. if i only had one certainty out of a billion uncertainties..i think i could make it. we all need something to hold on to. this aprehension is eating away at me. im gonna have to make some big decisions in my life soon, and i have no idea what to do. i wish i new myself better...i wish you were still there sometimes.
nite.
nite.