y'know what i mean
gerald locklin says it best
it's one of my favorite quotations,
but i can never seem to get it right.
is it, for instance, "the majority of
mankind leads lives of quiet desperation,"
or is it simply "most men lead lives
of quiet desperation,"
or, maybe, "the majority of men..."
or, more contemporaneously,
"at least fifty point one percent
of the population..."
shit, i don't know.
all i know,
and i think old h.d.t. would agree,
is that there is a whole heap of fuckupedness
going on.
i had a lot to say
but i think i changed my mind
about saying most of it
the only person who would read it all anyway
already knows without me saying it
i changed my mind again, i will say some of what i meant to
for four years (give or take) my name has been somethingvague7
i have seen bright eyes four times and grown up with the music
today, i will be something deliberate and i will say what i mean.
in my life i have loved many people and many things
bethy, i will always love you. nothing will change that.
i wish things could be different.
megan mcgrath, things got really fucked up.
i still don't know what happened.
i guess i thought you were just wanting attention.
i don't know how to explain it. but i'm sorry. i really am.
oh, while i'm thinking of it, elmhurst is giving me $14,000 a year
which is good news. i think i will take it. i know i will take it.
also, the cunningham side of the family is in deep shit in many ways
and i think after seeing the way they drink at every gathering
and talk about things in front of their kids like they aren't even there
(they still do it to me and i'm 18). i hate it.
shit, i know it's in my blood. there's a huge alcohol problem on that side.
and i'm afraid of becoming like them.
in my life, i loved many people. dana, i don't know why i didn't put you first.
i should have been better to you. i just let you slip away.
danny livarchik, i don't know why you're so good.
you deserve so much better than what you've gotten.
DO NOT go to kaitlin's without me.
i know you don't like making enemies
i don't like making enemies either.
but when she hurts you, she hurts me.
i will stand with you. i will fight with you.
jen marshall, you know. but i will love you this life and the next. i will go anywhere with you.
you're fearlessness makes me fearless. i would never have done half of the things i have done
for anyone else. period. but you bring up something in me that has been sleeping for a long time.
maybe my whole life. i hate fighting, but i would go to war to keep you. i would do anything to keep you, and it scares me. you bring up the jealous side of me too. but you fill me up with so much love. i can talk to you about anything and i will go anywhere and everywhere with you. by the way, jen, my ass has hurt the past few days when i've wipped.
in my life, i have loved my old best friends fish tank
i have loved every tree and every inch of this earth
i have dreamed about the memory of the whole world
there are more people i meant to say things to
i havn't said everything i wanted to, but i've said more than enough.
in my life, i can not think of a single person or thing that i have not loved.
today, i will be alive.
i will not be a mirror
nor will i be a dream
nor will i be a shadow
nor will i be a ghost.
tomorrow i will wake up
and i will be alive.
i will be sean alexander cunningham
i am very tired and i am ready to come home.
it's one of my favorite quotations,
but i can never seem to get it right.
is it, for instance, "the majority of
mankind leads lives of quiet desperation,"
or is it simply "most men lead lives
of quiet desperation,"
or, maybe, "the majority of men..."
or, more contemporaneously,
"at least fifty point one percent
of the population..."
shit, i don't know.
all i know,
and i think old h.d.t. would agree,
is that there is a whole heap of fuckupedness
going on.
i had a lot to say
but i think i changed my mind
about saying most of it
the only person who would read it all anyway
already knows without me saying it
i changed my mind again, i will say some of what i meant to
for four years (give or take) my name has been somethingvague7
i have seen bright eyes four times and grown up with the music
today, i will be something deliberate and i will say what i mean.
in my life i have loved many people and many things
bethy, i will always love you. nothing will change that.
i wish things could be different.
megan mcgrath, things got really fucked up.
i still don't know what happened.
i guess i thought you were just wanting attention.
i don't know how to explain it. but i'm sorry. i really am.
oh, while i'm thinking of it, elmhurst is giving me $14,000 a year
which is good news. i think i will take it. i know i will take it.
also, the cunningham side of the family is in deep shit in many ways
and i think after seeing the way they drink at every gathering
and talk about things in front of their kids like they aren't even there
(they still do it to me and i'm 18). i hate it.
shit, i know it's in my blood. there's a huge alcohol problem on that side.
and i'm afraid of becoming like them.
in my life, i loved many people. dana, i don't know why i didn't put you first.
i should have been better to you. i just let you slip away.
danny livarchik, i don't know why you're so good.
you deserve so much better than what you've gotten.
DO NOT go to kaitlin's without me.
i know you don't like making enemies
i don't like making enemies either.
but when she hurts you, she hurts me.
i will stand with you. i will fight with you.
jen marshall, you know. but i will love you this life and the next. i will go anywhere with you.
you're fearlessness makes me fearless. i would never have done half of the things i have done
for anyone else. period. but you bring up something in me that has been sleeping for a long time.
maybe my whole life. i hate fighting, but i would go to war to keep you. i would do anything to keep you, and it scares me. you bring up the jealous side of me too. but you fill me up with so much love. i can talk to you about anything and i will go anywhere and everywhere with you. by the way, jen, my ass has hurt the past few days when i've wipped.
in my life, i have loved my old best friends fish tank
i have loved every tree and every inch of this earth
i have dreamed about the memory of the whole world
there are more people i meant to say things to
i havn't said everything i wanted to, but i've said more than enough.
in my life, i can not think of a single person or thing that i have not loved.
today, i will be alive.
i will not be a mirror
nor will i be a dream
nor will i be a shadow
nor will i be a ghost.
tomorrow i will wake up
and i will be alive.
i will be sean alexander cunningham
i am very tired and i am ready to come home.