(no subject)
hm, i know i don't really update this much...eh, i think i like livejournal better than xanga...none of it matters though.
my life's been pretty fucked up lately...but i've been happy over all, you know? somehow i can smile and laugh but sometimes all of this shit takes over...especially in school, i'll be sitting in history class and have a panic attack, i mean, i tiny one....i've been getting really claustrophobic lately...i can't wear jackets, i mean, wtf? i've been listenin' to a lot of 'air' 'my bloody valentine' 'sonic youth' 'mum' and shit along those lines. i dunno, i spend so much time thinking about stupid things and talking about stupid things, it takes time to realize that so much of what takes up my time is really....stupid. and i try not to let all of this friend drama get to me, but it does. sometimes i just feel so left out. i have a lot of friends, but they all have their clicks, and no matter where i sit down, they have something that they're talking about, and they did. and i can talk and they like me and i like them...but for some reason i almost want a click, even though i think clicks are the dumbest thing on the face of this earth...other than Bush. anyway. my family life's weird. i mean, it's weird not sleeping in a house with my mom AND my dad together. i'm either with mom or dad...not both. and when they're together, they're all lovey dovey, but they're divorced, why would they do that? i dunno. it's weird, and my mom's got this guy Rory....what kind of fucking name is that?! it's a girl's name, that's what.
but, i am very good. i just am having trouble comprehending all of this change. i mean, 6 months ago i had a cat, i was homeschooled, my parents were together, and i lived in my dad's neighborhood with my family, us all together. now i'm going to school, my cat died, my parents are divorced, and i live in an apartment and visit my dad every weekend. plus not to mention the fact that i'm surrounded by so many fake people, half of them are my friends. and it's weird. i never realized how many people are fucked up in this world. or that they're not fucked up, the normal ones are fucked up.
this is an odd sort of update. i went to evanston toady to go foreign book shopping. tonight i'm going to go see a movie with some chicks. first i'm gonna eat some tacos with my dad and his friend (who played at shows with the Sonic Youth!!!!) yes, i'm totally picking his brain about kim gordon. no worries.
mmmmm, quote: 'I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix,'
my life's been pretty fucked up lately...but i've been happy over all, you know? somehow i can smile and laugh but sometimes all of this shit takes over...especially in school, i'll be sitting in history class and have a panic attack, i mean, i tiny one....i've been getting really claustrophobic lately...i can't wear jackets, i mean, wtf? i've been listenin' to a lot of 'air' 'my bloody valentine' 'sonic youth' 'mum' and shit along those lines. i dunno, i spend so much time thinking about stupid things and talking about stupid things, it takes time to realize that so much of what takes up my time is really....stupid. and i try not to let all of this friend drama get to me, but it does. sometimes i just feel so left out. i have a lot of friends, but they all have their clicks, and no matter where i sit down, they have something that they're talking about, and they did. and i can talk and they like me and i like them...but for some reason i almost want a click, even though i think clicks are the dumbest thing on the face of this earth...other than Bush. anyway. my family life's weird. i mean, it's weird not sleeping in a house with my mom AND my dad together. i'm either with mom or dad...not both. and when they're together, they're all lovey dovey, but they're divorced, why would they do that? i dunno. it's weird, and my mom's got this guy Rory....what kind of fucking name is that?! it's a girl's name, that's what.
but, i am very good. i just am having trouble comprehending all of this change. i mean, 6 months ago i had a cat, i was homeschooled, my parents were together, and i lived in my dad's neighborhood with my family, us all together. now i'm going to school, my cat died, my parents are divorced, and i live in an apartment and visit my dad every weekend. plus not to mention the fact that i'm surrounded by so many fake people, half of them are my friends. and it's weird. i never realized how many people are fucked up in this world. or that they're not fucked up, the normal ones are fucked up.
this is an odd sort of update. i went to evanston toady to go foreign book shopping. tonight i'm going to go see a movie with some chicks. first i'm gonna eat some tacos with my dad and his friend (who played at shows with the Sonic Youth!!!!) yes, i'm totally picking his brain about kim gordon. no worries.
mmmmm, quote: 'I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix,'