070 + ...by falling in love with him. I complicated our lives, now I'm losing my only friend...
Private
[[ooc: for those who wish to hack this, please read: this text is FILTERED FROM anyone Sasori dislikes. This means Shu (sorry), Wesker, Hojo, Sayuri, etc. If you know he dislikes you, or if he doesn't even know you, you can't read it. Also, if ZACK should try and read it, he would only see a note saying he should go pay attention to Cherry. That is all~]]
Why, why, why couldn't I say anything? Why? He did what I asked. He told me how he felt. Why couldn't I say anything? What about all those reasons I had? Where did they go?
Did I misunderstand something? Did I miss something? I thought I knew everything. Every detail, every hurt. Yet I missed something so... crucial. Do we both hide where we hurt? Are we so similar, yet so different?
I formed that argument myself. I know I did. I wanted to fight with him so I could work out my own reasoning. But there is no reasoning. I was thinking about me. I can't hold onto both of them at the same time, but if either of them tries to leave me, I'd probably rip out their kneecaps.
Hindsight's supposed to be real damn good stuff, but I still can't forumlate a clear answer in my head. I have so many things I need to say, want to say, but no clear way to form them.
You're different from them. I love you differently. I want you to always be there. Why are you making this seem tainted? Why can't you be happy for me? Why can't you try and get along? Why can't you understand that I can love two people so strongely, but not have them overlap? I don't want you to feel threatened.
Everything sounds so accusing, when I know I'm the one at fault. Now I'm in too deep, and I wouldn't go back for anything. If they got along, I would be perfectly happy. Is that selfish of me? He seems to think so.
Maybe I should spend my extra week by myself. Sort things out when there isn't someone to run to. When I'm down here, I'm content enough to think that maybe I wouldn't want to move back up. But I know I will want to. If I weren't fighting with Suzaku, I would want to, in the back of my mind. I don't want to spend the time with either of them, wanting the other. That's too cruel.
I don't want to think about this... I know I have to, but I don't want to right now. I like where I am right now.
I'd like to make a general announcement.
The next person to use sparkles, sing, use huge text without a cut, use blindingly colorful text without a cut, or to be disgustingly happy to the point where it seems to smack viewers in the eyeball... I'm going to stab you.
I mean it. Stab. You. Somewhere nasty. Like in the pancreas - painful organ, that. This is the final warning. If you wake up one morning and see a midget redhead staring in your window, you so had it coming to you.
End of announcement.
Oh, wait, one more.
Everyone, be really, really careful about the food Farfarello gives you. You never know what the hell is in it. Jerk. The Irish Gold has been declared safe for now, but the brownies? Not so much.