(no subject)
its so easy to seem like everything is going well, but what I've noticed is I'm one of those ppl that hold it together under pressure but fall apart when its safe...
I cut the other night...could'nt tell u exactly why, maybe all the drama and loss of whatever I had between me and a few friends, maybe annoyanve at work, or family troubles, an dlying sister in law, and grummpy brother, and a mom who is never happy with u, maybe it was because its crazy to feel alone and kinda invisible in a house full of ppl, like nothin gmatters cuz I'm just amanda. idk....I can't exactly say why...all I know is it was dumb, and doesn't feel to good. Makes me feel ashamed. but then again, twice in a year is sooo much better then what it use to be. I think I will always get the urge to cut, I mean I always have, and mostly I ignore it, but sometomes, I just can't, things build up and I just can't.
I cut the other night...could'nt tell u exactly why, maybe all the drama and loss of whatever I had between me and a few friends, maybe annoyanve at work, or family troubles, an dlying sister in law, and grummpy brother, and a mom who is never happy with u, maybe it was because its crazy to feel alone and kinda invisible in a house full of ppl, like nothin gmatters cuz I'm just amanda. idk....I can't exactly say why...all I know is it was dumb, and doesn't feel to good. Makes me feel ashamed. but then again, twice in a year is sooo much better then what it use to be. I think I will always get the urge to cut, I mean I always have, and mostly I ignore it, but sometomes, I just can't, things build up and I just can't.