Life for Rent - Chapter 3
Kurt POV
Thursday is always an unusual day, the weekend is almost here; which means Glee practice is almost here, but neither are imminent yet. It’s kind of like people just go through the motions until they reach Friday.
Our Rent number is in the bag. I’ve loved doing this. Brittany, Mercedes and I have been given a very similar part to sing so we’ve been practicing together, helping each other out, that’s how Glee club is supposed to be. We decided we were done early today so we just did a quick run through before going our separate ways. Mercedes went to go find Tina and Artie for an early lunch whilst Brittany said she didn’t have to go and see Coach Sylvester for something secret. Suspicious…
Oh whatever.
So that leaves me heading towards the auditorium to go and see if Finn is done with his run through with Santana. I hope he is, I could go for an early lunch too. I heard its Pizza today, heavy on the peppers. Which is fortunate because they’re really good for…
I stopped sharply in the doorway of the auditorium. As I looked in I saw the large figure of Finn backed up against the shiny black grand piano wearing the blue sweater I’d bought him last week at the mall, with Santana in front of him. But this wasn’t just a simple solo rehearsal. She was right up against him, pressing her lips against his. He was steadying himself with one of his hands on the piano, the other hanging in mid air just above his shoulders.
This isn’t happening.
No… it’s definitely happening, four pinches and five blinks and it was still there. I stumbled back against the doorframe and hit my elbow, forcing me to drop the folder of sheet music I was holding. Finn and Santana obviously heard me because they both immediately looked over in my direction.
I heard Finn quietly say my name as Santana side stepped to the left and brushed her skirt, and then continued to look over at me with the smuggest look on her face I’d ever seen, her big shiny forehead glistening from the stage lighting.
All I could do is run, my brain wasn’t functioning properly, I just ran, I didn’t know where I was running to, but I just did it.
I really should have planned it, because I ran to one of the few places where Finn is most comfortable; the locker room.
I heard Finn’s quick and heavy footsteps echo behind me as I rushed into the room. I spun rapidly, looking for a route out so I wouldn’t have to deal with this. I couldn’t see one.
‘Kurt! KURT! Wait! Please!’ Finn was a lot faster than me and he managed to grab my jacket as we got halfway into the room. I turned around quickly to shove him off of me with a yell.
‘What the hell was that Finn?!’ I shouted as I realised I was trapped between two lines of lockers. I turned back to confront him.
‘It’s nothing like what you think Kurt! I swear to you’ Finn looked unusually small standing on the other side of the locker room. He slowly started pacing towards me.
‘I wanted nothing to do with that; I was just practicing my solo. Santana used the song to jump me, she was going on about how she thought the song was beautiful and how it’s good that fate paired us together for it.’ Finn was maybe seven or eight feet in front of me. I couldn’t look at him, so I just stared down at the disgusting faded tiles on the floor until he finished talking.
‘It’s Seasons of Love Finn!’ I looked at him, avoiding any kind of eye contact, no matter how brief. ‘Contrary to the title it isn’t a very romantic song!’
I’d never yelled this much at anyone… ever. I just couldn’t stop myself. I felt like I’d left my insides in the auditorium. My ears were ringing in that horrible way they do when you hold your nose and go underwater. I just kept replaying the image over and over of Finn up against the piano with that slut of a cheerleader all over him, touching him, touching the man I love.
He just stood completely motionless, a subtle frown on his face, his eyes wrecked with some kind of emotion. All I know is that they looked different, huge.
‘It’s about treasuring memories Finn! Treasuring them for the rest of your life! Memories like the ones I have of us!’ I could feel the tears forming in my eyes as a screeched at him. I knew everything was too good to be true. I really was just a distraction from all the problems in his mess of a life…
But his life wasn’t a mess anymore, I’d helped with that, we all had. And because of this, he didn’t need the distraction anymore; I’d outgrown my use.
‘Finn’ I had to look away from him again. ‘Do you like Santana? I mean truthfully, are you attracted to her?’
Finn finally looked me in the eyes; he shuffled his feet a little.
‘She’s very pretty… but no, I’m not attracted to her. I could never be attracted to someone like her’ He took a step closer to me. I tried to back up but was stopped mid step by the harsh clash of the metal locker. My back smacked against the wooden top, sending a sharp shock up my spine.
‘Just… just don’t. I need to deal with this’ This was all too much, the amount of happiness I’d been feeling over the past month always seemed too good to be true, and right now, all my fears were being proven to be one hundred percent correct.’
‘Kurt, look at me’ Finn crouched slightly down to try to look at me square in the face.
‘Kurt…please, you asked the same of me before, remember?’
I couldn’t think of anywhere to look but at him.
I’d never seen the face that looked back at me before. He looked terrified, and worried, but not in his usual confused way. All that was on his face was pure. This just made me even more paranoid.
‘Santana jumped me, no way would I ever do anything to hurt you. I love you’ He took a tiny step closer to me, staring me in the eyes. I could hear my heart beating a million a minute, but it felt like it was in my shoes. I didn’t like this feeling, and it wasn’t a feeling I’ll ever want to feel again.
‘Have I ever done anything to make you doubt me? Or the fact that you’re special to me?’ He reached out to touch my chin. I swatted his hand away briskly. I couldn’t handle him touching me, not now. I’d break down into tears in his arms, and I need to be strong to handle this.
‘No… no you never have Finn’ I said with a deep breath, trying to hold my emotions in. ‘But… please just give me time to deal with this.’ I could feel the tears start to roll down my eyes, keep it together Kurt, not now, anytime but now.
‘Kurt, I don’t… I don’t understand. There’s nothing to deal with, it was nothing.’ He was barely making any sound whatsoever.
‘I'm sorry, just please, I need… this has made me doubt everything we are, I just… need some breathing space’ I stepped around Finn as he stood frozen in his spot. I don’t know whether it was from shock or whatever else but I couldn’t think about that right now. I needed to get out of there.
I heard him call back to me as I exited the locker room.
‘You know I can respect that Kurt, but I’m not letting you go without a fight.’ I could feel his eyes burning into the back of my skull. I had to go. ‘I’ll prove to you that I love you, no matter who I have to go through to do it.’
I just lowered my head and walked away as quickly as possible without running. As I passed the doorway of the hall I quickly shuffled the sheets back into my folder, glancing at the first page through blurred eyes; the song I was about to show to Finn hoping we would sing it together next time duets came up in Glee.
Nobody Wants To Be Lonely
I stared at the lyrics on the page as I slowly stood up grasping my folder. I caught a glimpse of a pair of feet in the corner of my eye.
‘Oh! Kurt’ It was then that I heard the one voice in the entire world I wanted to hear the least right now; Santana’s.
I held my hand up to her.
‘You say one more thing to me and we’re going to have a serious problem’ I turned to Santana and shot her the dirtiest look I could muster in my current emotional state. ‘ Just know that’
‘Excuse me? Who do you think you are?’ she spat out at me.
She really should think twice about talking to me like that after what she had just done.
‘That’s a question you’re always asking me Santana, I know who I am, but who are you? The Cheerleader? The Singer? The School Bicycle?’
‘How dare you! Please! You really think you’re something special to him? You’re just a lay over until he realises what he really wants.’ She placed one hand on her hip.
‘And you think that’s you? What was it you said to me? It will never happen? Well guess what? It has! We’re together! We’re happy! Move on!’ I realised I’d instinctively moved to about a foot away from Santana. I could feel her breathing heavily up against me.
‘Happy?’ she laughed ‘you’re happy together? Then why didn’t he push me off of him’ she said as she did exactly that to me ‘and say Oh! No! What about Kurt?’ she used this stupid phoney voice, cheap shots to try to make me retaliate but it wasn’t going to work.
‘All I know is, you’ve made me now doubt one of the best months of my life, and those are in very short supply. How many times can you say that you’re genuinely, completely happy with your life?’
Her smug look rapidly shrunk into a blank one.
‘Yeah, that’s right, and I was. So thank you Santana. Thank you for once again bringing all the crap flooding back into my life, you’d think I’d be used to it now, but every time just brings new levels of pain. I hope you’re happy now.’
I turned around one eighty and walked off just a quickly as I had walked out of the locker room. I was clasping my folder so tightly that my fingers were going purple and my knuckles had lost all colour. I had to find somewhere quiet and private to think this out before everyone finished lunch. It was one thing to be devastated, but for the entire school to know about it just wasn’t necessary.
Finn POV
I just slumped down where I stood in the middle of the locker room. How did things get this messed up again? Why didn’t I just push Santana off of me when she edged closer? Why did she even kiss me to begin with? Its not like I did anything to lead her on or encourage her. She knows I’m with Kurt; she just caught me off guard.
No, this has gotta be a plan. She’s trying to split us up. Doesn’t she have anything else better to do in her sorry little life? I thought she was vying for Puck, another relationship she was trying to ruin.
I don’t know what to do now, if I go after Kurt then I’ll risk making things a thousand times worse and having a screaming match in front of the entire school. But I can’t stand the thought of him being so upset. Upset about something that isn’t even real and shouldn’t ever be an issue for us.
I just sat there thinking over what had just happened. I must have lost track of time ‘cus the next noise I heard was the end of lunch bell jolting me back out of my own head.
I slowly got up and walked out of the room towards the mass of students rushing to get their books for their next lessons. I’d completely forgotten whose locker is two down from mine…
I took a deep breath and strode over to Santana, trying to look as confident as possible. I slammed the locker door shut in her face as she whipped her hand out of the way.
‘Watch it!’ she yelled at me.
I just blinked at her.
‘Do you realise what you’ve just done?’ I said to her. She just looked my up and down and folder her arms.
‘And what’s that?’ she asked in her ever present sarcastic tone. When Kurt does it its cute, but she just cannot pull it off.
‘You might have just cost me the one thing in my life at the moment that means something to me. The one thing that brightens up my day since my life went down the toilet.’
She twitched her eyebrow a little and began to open her locker again. I pushed my hand flat-palmed against it, forcing it shut again with a painfully loud metallic crash.
A few people stopped and looked over. I noticed Rachel pull her head from her locker and glance our way. I'm glad someone from Glee club was here to see this too.
‘And if you really have ruined that, I will make it my personal promise to you.’ I raised my voice to as loud as I could ‘to everyone, that you’re gonna feel what it’s like to be as unhappy as you’ve made Kurt.’
I hadn’t planned on getting this violent or threatening, but the thought that she had forced Kurt and I into a situation that could jeopardise everything we have together made me mad beyond belief.
Santana widened her eyes and took her hand away from the handle.
‘If you can’t get it into that blissful brunette head of yours that other people besides you might deserve to be happy, then there’s really no use in us talking to each other again.’
I swung the locker door open sharply with a loud clash and walked past Santana. I could feel my face was bright red. I was boiling so much that I had to take my sweater off as I walked outside to get some air. She was even forcing me out of clothes that Kurt had bought me.
I walked to my car and slumped down again against the rear wheel. I had to find some way to get rid of this pounding headache. I just rested my head in my hands and sat, waiting for my heart to slow back to normal.
It was only then I heard a familiar voice, usually a voice of massive annoyance.
‘Finn?’
The voice of Rachel.