Part 1
How do i even begin to write what I have learnt from teaching? Its been such an amazing and emotional experience for sure. And without a doubt i miss gonna miss the kids plenty. More than they will miss me actually. No matter what. A part of me will be thinking when they return to sch in term 3 how will their new teacher be like? Will they respond to her? How will they fare for the end of the year exams? And of course the big O's. By that time, I would only just be a distant memory wedged at the back of their minds.
Let me warn you now. This is going to be a long and incoherent post. And this is just the description of the beginning stage of teaching. So you might want to skip reading all this.
Relief teaching was I wanted to do after the a's. and believe me fart and i really wanted to see what it would be like to teach in a neighbourhood sch. after all we have heard so much abt the discipline problems and it would be interesting to actually experience the situation firsthand. I think on hindsight we would both agree now that we got a lot more than we bargained for.
teaching in a secondary school is very different from teaching in a primary school. nevertheless there are still similarities. the main issue of classroom management is relevant be it in a p4 classroom or a sec 4 class. and i think it shocked me how hard it was to actually establish my authority in a class of 40 ten year old kids. heck i had only been subconsciously aware of this term classroom management up till that point. when u are a student u are one out of forty, you might grin at the teacher or if you are nice enough pity the teacher as you watch yr friends yakk away and act out of control. and then maybe you'd join in as well and with one ear in and one ear out u'd hear and ignore the poor teacher's threats. as a student, even the pri sch ones are able to judge how far they can push it when with different teachers. and its such a normal thing to do when u're a student. but being the one in front of forty and not being able to assert yourself and to get them to pay attention to you is so immensely frustrating. i remember feeling so helpless. and sometimes its still that way when i step into my normal tech class to teach. its a warfront. and thats when i think abt the times back in jc when we were the self running class during gp. and i feel so bad abt the way we treated miss low. looking back, i still do wish she had been more strict with us. even if we had ended up hating her, at least we would have learned discipline and paid more attention during her lessons.
struggling to cope with managing primary sch kids in the classroom, i remembered feeling glad i wasn't teaching in a secondary school. and thats when the call came to teach in bartley sec for four days. i remembered the night before i was tossing and turning in my bed. i was having a nightmare abt blurred teenaged faces in a classroom. and boy, i have to say the next day was a nightmare come true. my first class was a nt class. and i'll never forget walking in and having those eyes on me judging me. i was fresh meat to them. and they tested me. i was yelling but neither were they scared nor intimidated. i suppose they could see my fear in handling them. this boy, Ridzuan, in particular was acting out. he even asked me if he could go to the toilet to smoke. and of course everybody laughed. as if it was the funniest thing they had ever heard. much to my horror, this was not to be the last question that was posed to me that was sooo freaking out of line. i witnessed bullying right in front of my eyes. and i had no clue what to do. i could tell they were all having a blast testing my mettle. and that was not the only incident that freaked me out that day. i realised that if i wanted to control the kids in the class, i was going to have assert myself the very moment i step into a classroom. because whether i liked it or not, they knew i was just a relief teacher and it was partying time for them since the real deal was not around to teach them. And discipline them.
I suppose I could say it was because of these unplesant experiences doing ad hoc relief at bartley that I brought this cold, detached and strict persona over to Clementi town sec. although i knew ppl from the sch previously and of course its reputation as being one of the better neighbourhood schs, i still had my reservations after bartley. i didn't think it would be all that different. but i know now i was clearly wrong abt that. because i was going to be a long term relief and unlike ad hoc relief i had the upper hand as none of my students knew my status as a relief. settling into the job at ctss was a lot harder than i had expected it to be simply because of the things that were happening that were beyond my control and of course getting used to the classes i was going to have to teach. i had two express classes, one normal acad and my nt kids. it was a scary period of adjustment. i think i was particularly concerned abt how i was going to teach my nt kids after the nasty experience in bartley. and boy they sure tested me on that first lesson. i had Haikal who was constantly rude and disruptive during that first lesson. and of course Clinton and Ramadhan who fought with each other towards the end of the lesson over god knows what. it was smth to get used to with the boys in that class sizing me up. its a very subtle, subconscious battle of control as they tower over you and stare you down. although you are older and certainly in a position of authority, you are still a female and small next to them and their hostile body language. and i coudn't help but feel powerless and intimidated actually. i was terrified and i rmbr very clearly walking out of the class wondering just how i was going manage them over the next 11 weeks. obviously i couldn't yell at them during each lesson. on top of that the week i started a level results were going to be released. i had my driving test which i didn't study for at all to worry abt. and then all of a sudden i'm told ca marks are my responsibility. and i have to include argumentative essays in the marks. it was rather stressful. i think i had abt 2-3 days to mark 76 essays.and i still had to hound the kids in hand in their essays. that was before the deadline was extended of course. everything at me all at once. really glad i got through all that.
Let me warn you now. This is going to be a long and incoherent post. And this is just the description of the beginning stage of teaching. So you might want to skip reading all this.
Relief teaching was I wanted to do after the a's. and believe me fart and i really wanted to see what it would be like to teach in a neighbourhood sch. after all we have heard so much abt the discipline problems and it would be interesting to actually experience the situation firsthand. I think on hindsight we would both agree now that we got a lot more than we bargained for.
teaching in a secondary school is very different from teaching in a primary school. nevertheless there are still similarities. the main issue of classroom management is relevant be it in a p4 classroom or a sec 4 class. and i think it shocked me how hard it was to actually establish my authority in a class of 40 ten year old kids. heck i had only been subconsciously aware of this term classroom management up till that point. when u are a student u are one out of forty, you might grin at the teacher or if you are nice enough pity the teacher as you watch yr friends yakk away and act out of control. and then maybe you'd join in as well and with one ear in and one ear out u'd hear and ignore the poor teacher's threats. as a student, even the pri sch ones are able to judge how far they can push it when with different teachers. and its such a normal thing to do when u're a student. but being the one in front of forty and not being able to assert yourself and to get them to pay attention to you is so immensely frustrating. i remember feeling so helpless. and sometimes its still that way when i step into my normal tech class to teach. its a warfront. and thats when i think abt the times back in jc when we were the self running class during gp. and i feel so bad abt the way we treated miss low. looking back, i still do wish she had been more strict with us. even if we had ended up hating her, at least we would have learned discipline and paid more attention during her lessons.
struggling to cope with managing primary sch kids in the classroom, i remembered feeling glad i wasn't teaching in a secondary school. and thats when the call came to teach in bartley sec for four days. i remembered the night before i was tossing and turning in my bed. i was having a nightmare abt blurred teenaged faces in a classroom. and boy, i have to say the next day was a nightmare come true. my first class was a nt class. and i'll never forget walking in and having those eyes on me judging me. i was fresh meat to them. and they tested me. i was yelling but neither were they scared nor intimidated. i suppose they could see my fear in handling them. this boy, Ridzuan, in particular was acting out. he even asked me if he could go to the toilet to smoke. and of course everybody laughed. as if it was the funniest thing they had ever heard. much to my horror, this was not to be the last question that was posed to me that was sooo freaking out of line. i witnessed bullying right in front of my eyes. and i had no clue what to do. i could tell they were all having a blast testing my mettle. and that was not the only incident that freaked me out that day. i realised that if i wanted to control the kids in the class, i was going to have assert myself the very moment i step into a classroom. because whether i liked it or not, they knew i was just a relief teacher and it was partying time for them since the real deal was not around to teach them. And discipline them.
I suppose I could say it was because of these unplesant experiences doing ad hoc relief at bartley that I brought this cold, detached and strict persona over to Clementi town sec. although i knew ppl from the sch previously and of course its reputation as being one of the better neighbourhood schs, i still had my reservations after bartley. i didn't think it would be all that different. but i know now i was clearly wrong abt that. because i was going to be a long term relief and unlike ad hoc relief i had the upper hand as none of my students knew my status as a relief. settling into the job at ctss was a lot harder than i had expected it to be simply because of the things that were happening that were beyond my control and of course getting used to the classes i was going to have to teach. i had two express classes, one normal acad and my nt kids. it was a scary period of adjustment. i think i was particularly concerned abt how i was going to teach my nt kids after the nasty experience in bartley. and boy they sure tested me on that first lesson. i had Haikal who was constantly rude and disruptive during that first lesson. and of course Clinton and Ramadhan who fought with each other towards the end of the lesson over god knows what. it was smth to get used to with the boys in that class sizing me up. its a very subtle, subconscious battle of control as they tower over you and stare you down. although you are older and certainly in a position of authority, you are still a female and small next to them and their hostile body language. and i coudn't help but feel powerless and intimidated actually. i was terrified and i rmbr very clearly walking out of the class wondering just how i was going manage them over the next 11 weeks. obviously i couldn't yell at them during each lesson. on top of that the week i started a level results were going to be released. i had my driving test which i didn't study for at all to worry abt. and then all of a sudden i'm told ca marks are my responsibility. and i have to include argumentative essays in the marks. it was rather stressful. i think i had abt 2-3 days to mark 76 essays.and i still had to hound the kids in hand in their essays. that was before the deadline was extended of course. everything at me all at once. really glad i got through all that.