the good, the bad, and the lovely
Words can't explain this past week. In its entirety, it was possibly the worst week of my life.
I could probably use 1000 words and still not completely describe how much it hurts.
I use to write things down as a form of expression. It was the healthiest and easiest way for me to vent. Maybe thats what I need to do now... where can i begin...
I lost my first love. My first real boyfriend, my first taste of anything serious. About a year and a half. Thats how long we lasted before we realized no matter how much we cared about each other we were so different. When it ended we never had real closure or a real understanding of how we felt. If we ran into each other, it was akward and brief. I thought he hated me, and he thought my life was better without him.
Then April 24, 2005...
A mutual friend of ours knocks at my door at 9 am to tell my dad to wake me up there was an emergancy. He's standing there with a florida state hat i had bought santos from florida the summer after my freshman year. He was wearing it during the accident. It still smells like exhaust and oil from when the guys were working on the camaro earlier that night. my heart was broken. When I went to his house to visit his parents, his mom told me to follow her to his room where a blown up picture of us still stood in its frame. "He always got mad at me when I moved it and put it right back where it was."
His best friend's dad (who was like his second dad), pulled me aside after the rosary with "something very important to tell me, something i really should hear". He told me how during a party at the house, they had a serious convo. He said how he still loved me. That party was 2 weeks before the accident.
::::sigh:::::
thats enough for now. i'm getting sad.
I could probably use 1000 words and still not completely describe how much it hurts.
I use to write things down as a form of expression. It was the healthiest and easiest way for me to vent. Maybe thats what I need to do now... where can i begin...
I lost my first love. My first real boyfriend, my first taste of anything serious. About a year and a half. Thats how long we lasted before we realized no matter how much we cared about each other we were so different. When it ended we never had real closure or a real understanding of how we felt. If we ran into each other, it was akward and brief. I thought he hated me, and he thought my life was better without him.
Then April 24, 2005...
A mutual friend of ours knocks at my door at 9 am to tell my dad to wake me up there was an emergancy. He's standing there with a florida state hat i had bought santos from florida the summer after my freshman year. He was wearing it during the accident. It still smells like exhaust and oil from when the guys were working on the camaro earlier that night. my heart was broken. When I went to his house to visit his parents, his mom told me to follow her to his room where a blown up picture of us still stood in its frame. "He always got mad at me when I moved it and put it right back where it was."
His best friend's dad (who was like his second dad), pulled me aside after the rosary with "something very important to tell me, something i really should hear". He told me how during a party at the house, they had a serious convo. He said how he still loved me. That party was 2 weeks before the accident.
::::sigh:::::
thats enough for now. i'm getting sad.