But, like...what if the bird got stung halfway through?
*
1) I spent this morning fondly recalling a day where I tailgated at an XFL game and drank Strawberry Banana Mad Dog 20/20 with good friends before watching football with some close friends and professional wrestlers. That was a pretty good day.
2) "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" looks good. I fully intend to see it when my children graduate high school.
3) If my cell phone ever tried to kill me, I would take that fucking battery out immediately. Seriously.
4) Movie titles in my head:
*Cheese: The Musical
*National Lampoon's: Piss for Distance
*Dead Roadkill Society
*Super Fast Ice Ambulance Drivers
*A Boy, His Fax and Some Gravel
*Life as a Hose
*Every Last Shot Glass
*How Many Fucking Times Must I Tell You To Use the Letterhead?
*Dammit, That IS My Mother's Middle Name: Part II
*M.O.I.S.T.
*OMG! William Shatner!
*Kill Clay Aiken
*Lt. Fish's Lady
*Spelunking: A Love Story
5) I don't care what anyone says, I don't believe that children should get to call shotgun. In fact, I'm for a mandatory minimum age of 10 before any shotgun calls are legitimate. Sure, we'll get the argument that an 8 year old can go off to war and die for his country, yet he can't call shotgun, but that's irrelevant. Calling shotgun and riding shotgun require a certain amount of maturity that no 8 year old can possibly have attained.
6) People: Stop naming your children Shimbakymboyansasquasch and the like. It's time to start popularizing Ethel, Gladys and Harriet again for goodness sakes.
7) I watch American Idol. Normally I just think that Paul Abdul is on goofballs. Sometimes I think that Randy Jackson is on goofballs. This past week? I'm certain that Simon Cowell, Ryan Seacrest and just about everyone who picked up a phone and voted are on goofballs. I'm going to need one of those special appointments at the psychiatrist (you know, the special ones where you talk about one issue in particular?) to discuss the cognitive dissonance registered in my brain between the time I saw Jason Castro perform and the time the judges gave their review. I think I accidentally fell down a worm hole.
8) I'm sure that worm hole was caused by those people in Texas who are running the supercollider. I don't really understand the supercollider. If you want a large ring in which to observe two fast moving objects smash into each other, why not just take a hot air balloon ride over the DC beltway at rush hour?
9) I'm planning to randomly pick someone on my friend's list and make posts discussing nothing except the items on his/her interests list. In some cases this would be pretty freaking funny, at least to me. Wait till I get to the Vagina Monologues.
10) Is 1:16pm too early to get my drank on?
11) I'm changing my name to Axelrod to commemorate St. Crispin's Day.
*
1) I spent this morning fondly recalling a day where I tailgated at an XFL game and drank Strawberry Banana Mad Dog 20/20 with good friends before watching football with some close friends and professional wrestlers. That was a pretty good day.
2) "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" looks good. I fully intend to see it when my children graduate high school.
3) If my cell phone ever tried to kill me, I would take that fucking battery out immediately. Seriously.
4) Movie titles in my head:
*Cheese: The Musical
*National Lampoon's: Piss for Distance
*Dead Roadkill Society
*Super Fast Ice Ambulance Drivers
*A Boy, His Fax and Some Gravel
*Life as a Hose
*Every Last Shot Glass
*How Many Fucking Times Must I Tell You To Use the Letterhead?
*Dammit, That IS My Mother's Middle Name: Part II
*M.O.I.S.T.
*OMG! William Shatner!
*Kill Clay Aiken
*Lt. Fish's Lady
*Spelunking: A Love Story
5) I don't care what anyone says, I don't believe that children should get to call shotgun. In fact, I'm for a mandatory minimum age of 10 before any shotgun calls are legitimate. Sure, we'll get the argument that an 8 year old can go off to war and die for his country, yet he can't call shotgun, but that's irrelevant. Calling shotgun and riding shotgun require a certain amount of maturity that no 8 year old can possibly have attained.
6) People: Stop naming your children Shimbakymboyansasquasch and the like. It's time to start popularizing Ethel, Gladys and Harriet again for goodness sakes.
7) I watch American Idol. Normally I just think that Paul Abdul is on goofballs. Sometimes I think that Randy Jackson is on goofballs. This past week? I'm certain that Simon Cowell, Ryan Seacrest and just about everyone who picked up a phone and voted are on goofballs. I'm going to need one of those special appointments at the psychiatrist (you know, the special ones where you talk about one issue in particular?) to discuss the cognitive dissonance registered in my brain between the time I saw Jason Castro perform and the time the judges gave their review. I think I accidentally fell down a worm hole.
8) I'm sure that worm hole was caused by those people in Texas who are running the supercollider. I don't really understand the supercollider. If you want a large ring in which to observe two fast moving objects smash into each other, why not just take a hot air balloon ride over the DC beltway at rush hour?
9) I'm planning to randomly pick someone on my friend's list and make posts discussing nothing except the items on his/her interests list. In some cases this would be pretty freaking funny, at least to me. Wait till I get to the Vagina Monologues.
10) Is 1:16pm too early to get my drank on?
11) I'm changing my name to Axelrod to commemorate St. Crispin's Day.
*