(no subject)

Dec 12, 2003 08:57

the other day someone brought to my attention if i want a boyfriend i should be less picky and maybe give some guys a chance. why would i ever do that?? and it seems that even if i am picky, mainly meaning if im shallow, i end up with douches, and if im not picky i get assholes that dont treat me right.

im sick and tired of searching so hard when i know theyre right under my nose... that person that ive been searching for forever... and although i dont know who he is quite yet i know hes going to come and be part of my life at the most inopprotune moment, when my life is complete hell and gunfire, and we wont stand a chance. Either that or he will dump me cause hes not ready. JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER GUY.
am i really that intense in a relationship that guys flee once they see how i act?? when all i reallly want is just to have someone to hold and to marvel at??

i want more friends. im craving new people. I cant stand the kids i go to school with, and with selina gone, and dez too, im going to have no one like me left to spend time with. Im craving relationships

i guess it doesnt help right now everything is just fucking mediocre. not wonderful, not bad, but plain. nothing to make me happy and nothing to make me sad. honestly, with my personality, i would rather be on one end or the other, give me something to cope with and ill cope, give me something to do and ill do it. just not this...
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