So a SEAL and a detective walk into a drugstore...
Snippet for padfootthegrim, who said "Write me a snippet where Steve and Danny go buy condoms!"
So here you are, Steve and Danny buying condoms:
302 words
“Why are there so many different kinds?”
“Different strokes for different folks, babe.”
“No, I mean, okay, but cherry? Strawberry?”
“Tastes better than plain latex-”
“But if you’re fucking me, what does it matter what it tastes like-”
“-some people, Steven, people who are clearly not you and I, but some people out there actually use condoms for oral sex.”
“I’m just saying, it seems kind of superfluous.”
“God, you and the big words - you know what, we’re getting a pack of the strawberry ones. This will solve the problem.”
“Danny, I’m not putting one of those on my dick-”
“Who says they’re going on your dick, huh?”
“-or in my mouth. They’re going to have that fake-strawberry taste. It’s not happening.”
“Are you seriously turning down me blowing you because you don’t like the flavor condom I picked out?”
It’s around this time that Danny realizes that his voice has been increasing in pitch throughout their conversation and he is, in fact, pretty much yelling about blowing Steve with a strawberry condom in the middle of a Walgreens. The older lady who had been at the end of the aisle perusing the Ace bandage selection has disappeared, but there’s a salesgirl staring pretty openly at them from the endcap. Danny closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, reaching out and snagging a few of the packages - the ones they normally use, an extra pack to keep in the car because Steve does not know the meaning of wait, and the damn strawberry ones - before heading determinedly to the front of the store.
Later that night, when they’re drifting beneath the sheets, Steve gives an appreciative hum.
“Hm?” Danny asks, figuring it’s as close to words as he can be expected to manage right now.
“Strawberry,” Steve says thoughtfully. “Not bad.”
So here you are, Steve and Danny buying condoms:
302 words
“Why are there so many different kinds?”
“Different strokes for different folks, babe.”
“No, I mean, okay, but cherry? Strawberry?”
“Tastes better than plain latex-”
“But if you’re fucking me, what does it matter what it tastes like-”
“-some people, Steven, people who are clearly not you and I, but some people out there actually use condoms for oral sex.”
“I’m just saying, it seems kind of superfluous.”
“God, you and the big words - you know what, we’re getting a pack of the strawberry ones. This will solve the problem.”
“Danny, I’m not putting one of those on my dick-”
“Who says they’re going on your dick, huh?”
“-or in my mouth. They’re going to have that fake-strawberry taste. It’s not happening.”
“Are you seriously turning down me blowing you because you don’t like the flavor condom I picked out?”
It’s around this time that Danny realizes that his voice has been increasing in pitch throughout their conversation and he is, in fact, pretty much yelling about blowing Steve with a strawberry condom in the middle of a Walgreens. The older lady who had been at the end of the aisle perusing the Ace bandage selection has disappeared, but there’s a salesgirl staring pretty openly at them from the endcap. Danny closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, reaching out and snagging a few of the packages - the ones they normally use, an extra pack to keep in the car because Steve does not know the meaning of wait, and the damn strawberry ones - before heading determinedly to the front of the store.
Later that night, when they’re drifting beneath the sheets, Steve gives an appreciative hum.
“Hm?” Danny asks, figuring it’s as close to words as he can be expected to manage right now.
“Strawberry,” Steve says thoughtfully. “Not bad.”