Edit the sad parts. ((Open to superman_dead... finally!))

[someday_to_you]

Sometimes all I really want to feel is love
Sometimes I'm angry that I feel so angry
Sometimes my feelings get in the way
Of what I really feel I needed to sayAlfons rather hates winter. Winter is when bad things happen in his family or to himself. While confirmation bias certainly has a hand in his viewpoint, (bad things happen all year round,

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[someday_to_you]

Oh, Alfons wishes he could have kept all that from Edward, but he really couldn't find a way to bottle it in and still recover. Although, none of that is filtering through his head at the moment. He's a little too busy crying and clinging and whimpering Edward's name hysterically again.

It may be tough for Edward to hear how Alfons felt, but admitting that was the one thing Alfons needed more than anything. Getting the slowly curdling pain out of the pit of his stomach, where he can deal with it instead of crushing it inside himself is vital for him to get over it.

So if Edward can just support him and hold him, that'll be the best thing he can do.

[superman_dead]

That- that's something he can do. He's pretty sure. He's choking on bile and tears and guilt, but he'll swallow it all down and hold Alfons until Alfons doesn't need to be held anymore, and then he'll go get sick over it. Not before then.

He holds Alfons tightly, petting his hair and whispering soothing sounds, promising that he's right there, he's not leaving, it's okay now, that's all behind them.

Edward needs to listen to his own words sometime.

[someday_to_you]

Alfons would like Edward to listen to his own words as well. He's listening, Edward should too... unfortunately, Alfons can't help Edward at the moment. He hasn't broken down for an entire year, hasn't laid any of this out for anyone- he needs some time.

Eventually, after that some time passes, he calms down. The emotions tumbling around in his stomach settle as his tears (which he will soon be rather embarrassed by) taper off. He feels drained, tired, but Edward's still there and Edward was never going to be anything but there- and he didn't want it any other way, never could, so all that pain is kind of moot and over, right? Because of the obvious...

"L-l-liebe dich," he says with a sniffle, struggling to sit up, only getting up far enough to be able to hug Edward tightly and bury his face in his hair. "Liebedichliebeliebe," he whispers fervently.

[superman_dead]

Edward is listening, even if it hurts him to do so, even if all he does is bottle up more guilt and bury it down, even knowing that all doing that will do is release the toxins slowly into his system and drive him to an early grave.

That's Edward Elric for you. Better at hoarding guilt than a Catholic. (He's also better on his knees than a Catholic, but let's not go there.)

For a fraction of a second, Edward is caught off-guard by the hug, wondering what could be going through Alfons's head, how could he deserve to be held, deserve anything but Alfons getting up and leaving, but even despite his first reactions, he knows better, and he wraps his arms around Alfons tightly, holding his mate.

"I love you too," he whispers against Alfons's ear, petting his hair. "'m not gonna go anywhere, not unless you want me to. Promise."

There. When Edward Elric makes a promise, he doesn't break it, even if he has to go to hell and back to make sure he keeps it.

[someday_to_you]

Frowny face, Alfons doesn't want Edward to drive himself to an early grave. He'll do all he can to stop that from happening.

He hugs Edward tighter, gathering his thoughts enough to respond in English, though his accent is thicker than normal. The remaining sniffles might have something to do with that. "Never ever want you to go, I mean it, I do, after all this I know by now, I want to be with you."

[superman_dead]

Edward's grip on Alfons tightens until his fingers are pressing into Alfons's skin hard enough that it might be almost painful as he clings, shivering a bit.

Forgiveness. Charges dismissed.

"Love you," he whispers, burying his face against Alfons's neck.

[someday_to_you]

A pardon, maybe. Edward's already locked parts of himself away for his mistake, Alfons wants him to be free from that. Now that Alfons has let go of some of his own pain, he can help Edward with his.

"Together," he murmurs, kissing the top of Edward's hair. "I know we'll stay that way."

Funny, how talking finally made this seem... manageable. Maybe Alfons should learn something from that.

Might not be likely, unfortunately. Stubborn boys.

[superman_dead]

Very stubborn boys. Oh well, more drama in the future for the muns to plot around.

Oh Alfons. You just melted your boyfriend's black little heart. Edward tilts his head up and kisses Alfons, clinging to him tightly.

[someday_to_you]

Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them. Especially the stubborn pup variety.

Good, Alfons wants to melt his boyfriend's heart and make him feel better. No spreading the misery around, this was about containing it, fixing that remaining rift between them. Maybe it's not a perfect fix, but hey, they're a work in progress. And the kiss is a nice way to reassure Edward it's all right, he's still there, right?

He gently runs a hand over Edward's back, kissing him softly, gently, slow. Comfort, so much comfort he gets from that. How could he let Edward go when just kissing him helps put his world at right.

[superman_dead]

Throw rocks? Ed's been drunk, he hasn't been stoned yet, that's probably not a good direction to send him in.

...oh good god, mun, shut the fuck up already.

Edward (completely ignoring his mun) is clinging to Alfons tightly, just this side of being tightly enough to hurt. He whispers "I love you" against Alfons's lips, breath and voice shaky.

Sometimes, Edward holds onto his fears that he's done something that will drive his loved ones away far too long. And completely irrationally. He just needs a good occasional clue-by-four and some reassurance, is all.